This is a twist on Question & Answer.
My DD's got me going on this. In order to participate, you must give an INCORRECT but believable answer to the previous question. For example, if the question was "Who was the president of the US?" and you said "Benjamin Franklin" then you are allowed to ask the next question.
Also, the question does have to have a correct answer, but we aren't supposed to talk about that. That's one of the things that make it fun. You may wonder about the correct answer but never find out.
First question:
What US President may have actually been born in Canada?
Austin
Teddy Roosevelt
What team in football bowl history was so overwhelmed by its opponent that it conceded the game with 8 minutes still left to play?
Michigan State Spartans in 1998 Rose Bowl
Who said " give me liberty or give me death"?
Quote from: NightOwlWho said " give me liberty or give me death"?
Thomas Jefferson
How many entries are there in the New Webster's Collegate Dictionary?
Austin
32,674 Entries
Who was the inventor of the modern day Film Camera?
Ivana Schnappet
Which is the single NFL team that has their emblem on only one side of their helmet?
Quote from: griffsmomWhich is the single NFL team that has their emblem on only one side of their helmet?
The Buffalo Bills. (Fitting. They've never actually played for more than half a game at the superbowl.)
Who was James K. Polk's vice president?
Austin
Zachary Taylor
What's that punching bag thingy at the back of your throat called?
Quote from: griffsmomZachary Taylor
What's that punching bag thingy at the back of your throat called?
A reverbulator.
What are the last words known to be spoken by Edgar Allen Poe?
"Did that wax figure over there just move?"
Which First Lady presented a group of photographers with a quart of milk as a Christmas present?
Quote from: griffsmom"Did that wax figure over there just move?"
Which First Lady presented a group of photographers with a quart of milk as a Christmas present?
Martha Washington
Who made the decision that English measurement should be based on feet instead of meters?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Martha Washington
Who made the decision that English measurement should be based on feet instead of meters?
gsm x2
Dr Scholl What president came from North Bend OHio?
Quote from: angelsmom10What president came from North Bend OHio?
Grover Cleveland
Which US president was never elected to a national office?
Austin
George Bush
Which vegetable is also a member of the fruit family?
(A_B, I was missing the sublety of the game before, but I think I understand now. ;) )
Yellow Squash
How many steps do you have to climb to reach the crown in the Statue of Liberty?
Quote from: debbiedee1957Yellow Squash
How many steps do you have to climb to reach the crown in the Statue of Liberty?
1776
What is the largest margin of victory in a College Football game?
49
Which Yankee general fought for the South in the Civil War?
Quote from: griffsmom49
Which Yankee general fought for the South in the Civil War?
Clark Gable....
What make teflon stick to the pan?
gravity
which nation has no national boundaries
Quote from: griffsmomgravity
which nation has no national boundaries
West Virgina and Kentucky...I think?
What cost's a Buck two Ninty eight?
advice (but you get what you pay for)
what number comes after forty'leven (as in "if I've told you once, I've told you forty'leven times to clean up your room" - compliments of my grandma)
Levindy-two
Which ocean isn't conected to the Arctic?
Austin
Ocean Breeze
What is black and white and red' all over?
Quote from: AustinBostonLevindy-two
Which ocean isn't conected to the Arctic?
Austin
Quote from: debbiedee1957Ocean Breeze
What is black and white and red' all over?
Purple...
Where doesn't the sun shine?
Assembly instuctions to a child's toy
Which is heavier, 2000 pounds of bricks or a ton of feathers
(Hey Kelly, Rick does type fast!) ;)
Quote from: griffsmomAssembly instuctions to a child's toy
Which is heavier, 2000 pounds of bricks or a ton of feathers
A heard of Cattle....
How do they pack Bubble wrap to ship it?
Quote from: CampNfanA heard of Cattle....
How do they pack Bubble wrap to ship it?
With styrofoam peanuts
Who is the last American Before Lance Armstrong to win the Tour De France?
Neil Amstrong (Don't tell me this is the right answer I made it up I can't be that unlucky ! :)
What country built the space arm space shuttles use ?
Quote from: birolNeil Amstrong
What country built the space arm Shuttles use ?
Armenia?
How many young does a 9-banded armadillo give birth to?
Quote from: MommaMiaArmenia?
How many young does a 9-banded armadillo give birth to?
It depends on the water temp.
Why is the sky Blue?
Quote from: CampNfanWhy is the sky Blue?
Becaue it's been holding it's breath.
Who was the last man on the moon?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWho was the last man on the moon?
Austin
Andy Kaufman
What are down comforters stuffed with?
pimentos
what goes up but doesn't come down
Quote from: griffsmompimentos
what goes up but doesn't come down
Weight :eyecrazy:
Why does the sky holds its breath?
Quote from: CampNfanWeight :eyecrazy:
Why does the sky holds its breath?
So it will turn blue! (DUH)
What makes grass green?
Quote from: brainpauseSo it will turn blue! (DUH)
What makes grass green?
yellow and blue
Who invented the submarine?
Quote from: MommaMiayellow and blue
Who invented the submarine?
Lord Sandwich
What ingredient was added to 6-Up to create 7-Up
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Lord Sandwich
What ingredient was added to 6-Up to create 7-Up
gsm x2
A TRAMPOLINE....
Why Are Tires Round?
Quote from: CampNfanA TRAMPOLINE....
Why Are Tires Round?
Because it was a good year for inventions.
Why is phonetics spelled with a "P"?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Why is phonetics spelled with a "P"?
Because the printer was out of F's
What's the most popular search engine on the internet?
Austin
arabul
who invented internet ?
Bill Clinton
Who is the Father of Lies?
Quote from: brainpauseWho is the Father of Lies?
Attilla the Hun raised from the dead.
What English word doesn't rhyme with orange?
Austin (thinking this should kill it)
orange
what color is water?
Quote from: griffsmomorange
what color is water?
clearly it's yellow... beer is yellow.
added later....
ooops. forgot the next question. Birol, you take it from here.
White
Who has two thumbs and don't give a .....
Me!
What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three in the evening?
Quote from: Jim in MichiganMe!
What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three in the evening?
Big Foot with a hangover.
What is Godzilla's last name?
Baytimur, of course!
What makes water wet?
Quote from: brainpauseBaytimur, of course!
What makes water wet?
The extra hydrogen molecule.
Other than paper machete, what other machete is there?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2The extra hydrogen molecule.
Other than paper machete, what other machete is there?
gsm x2
Plastic machete.
What is the wettest area in the United States?
Quote from: tlhdocWhat is the wettest area in the United States?
A tiny town in southwestern Massachusetts called Williamsburg.
What does the VHS stand for on a VHS videotape?
Austin
Vertically Horizantal Standard
What does DVD stand for ?
Dangerous Venereal Disease
Why do ball players make so much money?
Because they are all decendants of King George II
Where do birds go at night?
Quote from: brainpauseDangerous Venereal Disease
Why do ball players make so much money?
Quote from: debbiedee1957Because they are all decendants of King George II
Where do birds go at night?
The bird house. Like DUH!!!
Who has the worst initials in the United States?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2The bird house. Like DUH!!!
Who has the worst initials in the United States?
gsm x2
you? (
not meant to offend.... really! It just popped into my head!)
Which is longer, the time it takes to get a kid to sleep at night or the time it takes to wake him up in the morning?
Making them clean up their room !
Who built the statue of Liberty ?
Quote from: MommaMiayou?
Which is longer, the time it takes to get a kid to sleep at night or the time it takes to wake him up in the morning?
Some french guy....
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?????
Quote from: jpreiserSome french guy....
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?????
Time to stock up on Preparation H.
How do you spell R - - - - F?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Time to stock up on Preparation H.
How do you spell R - - - - F?
gsm x2
ripoff
What's the most expensive car ever made?
Quote from: MommaMiaripoff
What's the most expensive car ever made?
Good reply Momma :)
Most expensive car ever made?
An Edsel driven and maintained until it had 200,000 miles on it.
What is another automobile named for a child?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2What is another automobile named for a child?
The Mini Cooper
Who is the most successful movie star of all time?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonThe Mini Cooper
Who is the most successful movie star of all time?
Austin
Lee Majors
What is the most common major in US colleges today?
Quote from: MommaMiaLee Majors
What is the most common major in US colleges today?
The MRS degree
What is the least common major in US colleges today?
Quote from: brainpauseThe MRS degree
What is the least common major in US colleges today?
Business Ethics
Which Major League team has the funniest name?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Business Ethics
Which Major League team has the funniest name?
gsm x2
Not an answer to this question but I found this interesting and amusing
http://www.eeeeeegp.com/articles/TeamNames.htmlBack to gsm x2's question
Which Major League team has the funniest name?
The NY Hankees (Go Red Sox!)
What object doesn't give off a shadow in broad daylight?
Vampires !
Who makes the best Popups ?
Quote from: griffsmomThe NY Hankees (Go Red Sox!)
What object doesn't give off a shadow in broad daylight?
Quote from: birolVampires !
Who makes the best Popups ?
I think it was Carnation that made those Ice Cream Popups on a Stick.
In his youth, Superman was 'faster than a speeding bullet." What is he faster than today?
gsm x2
Amtrack Train !
Whom did superman have feelings for ?
Quote from: gsm x2I think it was Carnation that made those Ice Cream Popups on a Stick.
In his youth, Superman was 'faster than a speeding bullet." What is he faster than today?
gsm x2
Quote from: birolAmtrack Train !
Whom did superman have feelings for ?
Lois Street
If Robin and Batgirl got married, what would they name their baby?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Lois Street
If Robin and Batgirl got married, what would they name their baby?
gsm x2
Batin
What city in the US has the most air pollution?
Quote from: tlhdocBatin
What city in the US has the most air pollution?
either got to be Austin Texas or Boston Massachusetts ...(well he started this whole thing!)
Which of the big 3 auto companies actually originated from Canada?
Quote from: cameither got to be Austin Texas or Boston Massachusetts ...(well he started this whole thing!)
Which of the big 3 auto companies actually originated from Canada?
Datsun before they became Nissan
Which actress was originally cast at "The Flying Nun" on TV? (Hint, not Sally Fields)
gsm x2
Doris Day
What color was george washingtons white horse???
Quote from: jpreiserDoris Day
What color was george washingtons white horse???
Potomic Blue
Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2Potomic Blue
Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?
gsm x2
King Tut
Why color is the white house?
Quote from: jpreiserKing Tut
Why color is the white house?
PurpleWhat type of fruit do you use to make a cherry pie?
Blueberry !
What makes an apple pie yellow ?
Quote from: birolBlueberry !
What makes an apple pie yellow ?
Didn't you see "American Pie?"
Where did our old Oriental icons go?
gsm x2
I knew there was a trick to it, I wacthed it but probably forgot the whole thing :( How dumb can I get :(
Dave sold them
WHo bought the Oriental icons ?
Quote from: gsm x2Didn't you see "American Pie?"
Where did our old Oriental icons go?
gsm x2
Quote from: birolI knew there was a trick to it, I wacthed it but probably forgot the whole thing :( How dumb can I get :(
Dave sold them
WHo bought the Oriental icons ?
Bruce Lee,
when will pigs fly?
Quote from: jpreiserBruce Lee,
when will pigs fly?
second Tuesday of next week
what is worth a dollar six twenty?
Quote from: Kellysecond Tuesday of next week
what is worth a dollar six twenty?
A three legged dog named "LUCKY"
How many in a peck?
Quote from: CampNfanA three legged dog named "LUCKY"
How many in a peck?
317 to be exact except on sundays then 316
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck??
Quote from: jpreiser317 to be exact except on sundays then 316
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck??
As many as pickles that Peter Piper can pick.
How big is the world's largest cucumber?
Quote from: MommaMiaAs many as pickles that Peter Piper can pick.
How big is the world's largest cucumber?
83.48443841327843431248441179754121646874144165464 pounds :eyecrazy:
What state is the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon in?
Maryland.
Is corn a perennial?
T
;)
Quote from: wiininkweMaryland.
Is corn a perennial?
T
;)
That's odd, this question keeps coming up year after year.
How many kernals are on the average ear of corn?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2That's odd, this question keeps coming up year after year.
How many kernals are on the average ear of corn?
gsm x2
I thought I read somewhere there was 634 on average.....
How many spots are on a ladybug???
Quote from: jpreiserI thought I read somewhere there was 634 on average.....
How many spots are on a ladybug???
A gentleman bug doesn't kiss and tell.
How many popups has Birol looked at to buy?
Quote from: brainpauseA gentleman bug doesn't kiss and tell.
How many popups has Birol looked at to buy?
None
Where did he see the first one?
Quote from: KellyNone
Where did he see the first one?
In His Pants.....
Rare? Medium? or Well?
QuoteOriginally Posted by Kelly
None
Where did he see the first one?
In His Pants.....
:yikes: :yikes: :yikes:
:eyecrazy: :eyecrazy:
:-() :-()
How bad!
answer: Yellow
question:How many of you forgot it's Mothers Day this Sunday??!!
Quote from: Acts 2:38 girl:yikes: :yikes: :yikes:
:eyecrazy: :eyecrazy:
:-() :-()
How bad!
answer: Yellow
question:How many of you forgot it's Mothers Day this Sunday??!!
Answer: How many of you forgot TODAY was Mother's Day?
Question: How many husbands can fit in one Dog House?
gsm x2
1
Who invented telephone ?
Quote from: birolWho invented telephone ?
Samuel F. B. Morse.
Who invented the electric telegraph?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonSamuel F. B. Morse.
Who invented the electric telegraph?
Austin
Telly Savalas
How many wigs does Dolly Parton own at last count?
Quote from: MommaMiaTelly Savalas
How many wigs does Dolly Parton own at last count?
Wigs? I never have noticed them....
:eyecrazy:
How many inches of rain does the rainforest get in a year?
Quote from: brainpauseHow many inches of rain does the rainforest get in a year?
Same as my vacation gets in a week...oh, these are supposed to be WRONG answers...uh, one inch less than my vacation gets in a week.
How many species of mammals live on Antarctica?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonSame as my vacation gets in a week...oh, these are supposed to be WRONG answers...uh, one inch less than my vacation gets in a week.
How many species of mammals live on Antarctica?
Austin
Two: Killer whales and scientists
Why don't Eskimos ever eat pinguins. (Hint: It isn't for religious reasons)
Quote from: gsm x2Two: Killer whales and scientists
Why don't Eskimos ever eat pinguins. (Hint: It isn't for religious reasons)
In Eskimo culture, it's considered rude to eat something dressed in a tuxedo.
Who arranged the "murder" of Princess Di?
Quote from: brainpauseWho arranged the "murder" of Princess Di?
The Trilateral Commission.
Where did 1970's hijacker DD Cooper end up?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonThe Trilateral Commission.
Where did 1970's hijacker DD Cooper end up?
Austin
with his brother, DB
why do you get warts from toads?
Quote from: Kellywith his brother, DB
why do you get warts from toads?
Because you can't buy them at Wally World.
How much did Walt Disney pay to have his head cryogenically stored?
Quote from: MommaMiaBecause you can't buy them at Wally World.
How much did Walt Disney pay to have his head cryogenically stored?
100,000 "one size fits all" Mouse ears.
Which actor play "Spin" and which played "Marty"?
gsm x2
Quote from: gsm x2100,000 "one size fits all" Mouse ears.
Which actor play "Spin" and which played "Marty"?
gsm x2
He played Spin and she played Marty
Why did Austin bring this thread back from the dead?
Austin
Because it is his job
How far away is Uranus?
362,429 miles (not what I first thought of when I read the question :yikes: )
What was the song "Legs" by ZZ Top really about?
Spiders (Daddy long legs)
Where is the Washington Monument?
in Seattle
Why DID the chicken cross the road??
Because the sky was falling.
What was Walt Disney famous for?
being Goofy
Who has the fastest Roller coaster?
My Life
Who has the tallest rollercoaster?
Sea World
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
25
If a chicken and a half, layed an egg and a half, in a day in a half, how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
an hour and a half
where is Mt Rushmore?
Anaheim Hills, Ca.
What Baseball team tanked a chance to have back to back World Series?
Cardinals
which fast food place has sold the most hamburgers?
What-A-Burger.
What is fastest automobile in America?
the pinto
where is the windiest city?
Lancaster, Ca.
What is the City with the most rain?
whatever city the SCCampers happen to be camping in
What are the 4 basic food groups?
Barley, Hops, water, & Pizza
Where does beer come from?
Quote from: TheVikingBarley, Hops, water, & Pizza
Where does beer come from?
drums
Why won't Dee & TheViking let anybody else play?
Quote from: Kellydrums
Why won't Dee & TheViking let anybody else play?
Because they're mean.
How much is a gallon of gas?
Austin
99 cents/gallon.
How many beers in a case?
42
How many beers will the Fish Squad drink this weekend?
Quote from: TheViking42
How many beers will the Fish Squad drink this weekend?
One each.
Who's on pop-up-trailers IRC chat tonight?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonOne each.
Who's on pop-up-trailers IRC chat tonight?
Everybody but AB
When is camping season?
all year long in south Texas :)
How many PUT members will camp for Thanksgiving?
2575.
How many people want New England to win tonight?
Quote from: cyclone2575.
How many people want New England to win tonight?
6
What time is the campfire?
Quote from: Kelly6
What time is the campfire?
Noon to three PM.
Why did GW just delcare "We do not torture?"
Austin
because he's a liar
How many kids fit in Dee's trailer???
Quote from: Dee4jHow many kids fit in Dee's trailer???
2-1/2.
Does everyone understand that only wrong answers are allowed in this game?
Austin
Yes
What is the capital of California?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is the capital of California?
Lancaster
Why is there wax on my fruit?
QuoteWhy is there wax on my fruit?
It's beeswax.
When is AB adding to his DO collection?
Quote from: KellyWhy is there wax on my fruit?
Because the candle dripped.
What is the nickname of Texas?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause the candle dripped.
What is the nickname of Texas?
Austin
Bugger...someone beat me to it...
Austin (see previous page for current question).
the garden state
Where is Niagara Falls?
Arkansas.
If you close your eyes and walk a mile, where will you be?
Uranus
What is the name of the longest River in the world?
The Long River
How many dwarfs were there in the Wizard of Oz?
Quote from: ForestCreature
How many dwarfs were there in the Wizard of Oz?
None. They're all midgets.
Quote from: AustinBostonNone. They're all midgets.
Uhhhhh....so what's the question?
Quote from: TheVikingUhhhhh....so what's the question?
Does AB read the dictionary?
Entry Word:
dwarf Function:
noun Text:
1 a living thing much smaller than others of its kind
dwarfs of the horse world>
Synonyms diminutive, midget, mite, peewee, pygmy, runt, scrub, shrimp
:p
Yes he does. (The wrong answer)
Where do babies come from?
Quote from: TheVikingWhere do babies come from?
The cabbage patch. DUH!
Who was the first person to fly?
Quote from: Kelly
Who was the first person to fly?
Seth Brundel
Why does your toast always land "butter side down" when dropped?
Quote from: CAPEd CODgerWhy does your toast always land "butter side down" when dropped?
To pick up extra crunchies
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Quote from: TheVikingWhy do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Because the expressway is stop-and-go.
What color was the first apple?
Quote from: KellyBecause the expressway is stop-and-go.
What color was the first apple?
Blue
Why is your reflection in the mirror always backwards?
to make you look better
Who made the first PU?
Ford
Who was the first President?
Mr. Jayco Coleman Stracraft made the first PU
Does an orange have that name because of the color or is it colored orange because of the name?
No, it's orange because it's round, (ever seen a square Orange?)
Why can't I think of a question?
because all you can think about is camping
What is that food stuff SPAM?
Slimey Product And Meat
Where was the Constitution created?
Quote from: TheVikingWhere was the Constitution created?
Minnesota
Who signed it first?
Kelly
What is the Capital of Minnesota?
in my grandmothers bathroom
Who invented the Skateboard
Tony Hawk
Why is Dee so slow?
Quote from: TheVikingWhy is Dee so slow?
Because she has a dancing banana in her sig.
Who was the last person to walk on the moon?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho was the last person to walk on the moon?
Andy Kaufman
Who discovered Hawaii?
Dano of Five-O
Who discovered America?
Quote from: TheVikingWho discovered America?
Americo Vespuchi found it at the bottom of his Cracker Jacks box.
In "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," what was destroyed when a small dog barked?
Austin
Uranus
Who was the last winner of Survivor?
Quote from: TheVikingWho was the last winner of Survivor?
Scott Hamilton[/color]
Who invented the toilet?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWho invented the toilet?
Some guy named John
Who invented toilet paper?
Quote from: TheVikingWho invented toilet paper?
Some gal named Charmin.
Who's camping with me next summer?
Quote from: Kelly
Who's camping with me next summer?
Not me
What part of the body do skunks spray from?
Quote from: ForestCreature
What part of the body do skunks spray from?
Their elbows
Why do men have nipples?
Quote from: Kelly
Why do men have nipples?
It makes having a sex change operation easier.
Why do dogs lick their crotch then want to kiss you?
Quote from: ForestCreatureIt makes having a sex change operation easier.
Why do dogs lick their crotch then want to kiss you?
to wipe off their tongue
who invented the DVD?
David Victor Dugenheimer.
Why is there air?
to give us something to pollute
what is a cleaver?
A Cleaver is a who not a what. The Cleavers are a family with a kid called Beaver.
Speaking of beavers..... why do beavers build dams?
Ward & June
What is Thanksgiving?
Crap, I got beat
in their next life they want to be hoovers.
Why do I spend so much time here?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is Thanksgiving?
Crap, I got beat
But you can still play :D
Thanksgiving is when we give thanks to Americo Vespuchi for discovering America
(...and beavers build dams to keep the squirrels out)
Why does the bus come so early in the morning?
to bug the crap outta Dee
why does the sun rise in the east?
So you can sleep longer
What is a slinky????
Quote from: TheVikingSo you can sleep longer
What is a slinky????
It is what provides the spark in a diesel-fired engine.
How many grooves are on the edge of a dime?
2,439
Why do people put dancing bananna's in their signatures?
Quote from: TheVikingWhy do people put dancing bananna's in their signatures?
Because they don't let their kids drink beer.
Why don't they let their kids drink beer?
Because there aren't any dancing oranges available.
How much wood could a woodchuck ckuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
if the woodchuck is named Dee at least a 1/2 cord
Why is Dee at times the ONLY one on PUT??
Everyone else is out helping that woodchuck with the wood.
Where is the London Bridge?
Quote from: cycloneWhere is the London Bridge?
In Rome.
How are dust bunnies formed?
By eating bunny food
Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
Quote from: TheVikingWhere in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
At my brother's co-worker's aunt's second-cousin's grandma's sister's uncle's niece's best-friend's neighbor's daughter's house.
How long did it take to carve Mount Rushmore?
Quote from: KellyHow long did it take to carve Mount Rushmore?
About 45 minutes. it would have been done sooner, but the recipie called for standing time after it came out of the oven, and the electric knife was dull.
Which PUT regular is going to give me a brand new laptop for Christmas?
Austin
Which PUT regular is going to give me a brand new laptop for Christmas?
Austin[/QUOTE]
Kelly
Who opened Fredericks of Hollywood?
Thank you in advance, Kelly!Quote from: TheVikingWho opened Fredericks of Hollywood?
Ralph MacKness
Why didn't they call it Fredricka's of Hollywood?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy didn't they call it Fredricka's of Hollywood?
It was already taken
How much is an average home cost in Southern California?
10 million dollars
What IS Victoria's Secret?
Quote from: vjm1639What IS Victoria's Secret?
How to be comfortable in a G-String.
Why do we have Time changes?
Quote from: TheVikingHow to be comfortable in a G-String.
Why do we have Time changes?
So we can convince young children to go to bed earlier!
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ballgame" when we're already there?
Quote from: vjm1639Why do we sing "Take me out to the ballgame" when we're already there?
Because Harry Carry said so.
Why do people live in a place called Tornado Alley?
so people will buy more cracker jacks
where is the grand canyon??
Quote from: Dee4jwhere is the grand canyon??
Uranus
Where is Stonehenge?
Quote from: TheVikingWhere is Stonehenge?
15 kilometres south-southeast of Woodhenge
Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death?"
Gerald Ford
Why are the questions starting to repeat?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy are the questions starting to repeat?
Uranus
Why are the questions starting to repeat?
because they're good questions
Who discovered Uranus?
Quote from: Dee4jWho discovered Uranus?
TheViking
Why are the stores filled with Christmas stuff already?
btw ~ thank goodness we're answering wrong ~ can't even get me a new laptop!!! Sorry, AB
Quote from: KellyTheViking
Why are the stores filled with Christmas stuff already?
Because Christmas is in 2 weeks.
Why was I even looking for Uranus?
Quote from: TheVikingBecause Christmas is in 2 weeks.
Why was I even looking for Uranus?
Because you are a cardiologist.
Why do the trees move when the wind blows?
To express their displeasure.
What answer can this question have that violates the rules of the game?
The wrong answer.
Why is grass green?
Quote from: brainpauseThe wrong answer.
Why is grass green?
Because it's jealous of the dandelions.
Why can't you mow down dandelions, even though you go over them with the mower?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy can't you mow down dandelions, even though you go over them with the mower?
Because they have little Energizer batteries in the stems.
Why is traffic so bad in LA?
because EVERYBODY starts work at the exact same time
who discovered oil?
Jed Clampett
Why do they always kill Kenny?
because someone has to die
what is an 8 track??
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is an 8 track??
A train yard that can handle four trains at a time.
What is a 78 record?
Unplayable.
What is Reinheitsgebot?
Quote from: chipWhat is Reinheitsgebot?
One of the characters in Star Wars
Who is Darth Vader?
a german beer
Why doesn't Kelly log into IM anymore?
I think it's because of pos aim.
Is there such a thing as a good country song?
Quote from: cycloneIs there such a thing as a good country song?
First you have to find a good country.
Will the US do as a good country for a good country song?
a nope
what does S.A.G.E stand for?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat does S.A.G.E stand for?
Self Appointed Guardian Eagle
Why doesn't Dee answer when I log into IM?
She must have put you on ignore.
Is all y'all proper grammar?
Quote from: cycloneIs all y'all proper grammar?
Only in Canada
Who invented the tire?
Quote from: cycloneIs all y'all proper grammar?
Yes, in SC & WV
Who put the lime in the coconut?
Nielson put the lime in the coconut in 1972.
Who builds the best pop up campers?
Quote from: griffsdadWho builds the best pop up campers?
Gone Camping, Inc
Why doesn't the sun shine at night?
Quote from: KellyGone Camping, Inc
Why doesn't the sun shine at night?
cause the wind blows the light out
Why do they run the bases counter-clockwise in baseball?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do they run the bases counter-clockwise in baseball?
cuz a leftie invented the game
How much can I safely tow with my minivan?
Quote from: Kellycuz a leftie invented the game
How much can I safely tow with my minivan?
You can't tow with a minivan.
Who invented minivans?
a mini man named Van
who invented the Brillo Pad?
Quote from: Dee4jwho invented the Brillo Pad?
Brillo, the younger brother of Key Pad.
What is McAdam?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat is McAdam?
Austin
When McDonalds has a commercial taking a stab at a competitor! (also spelled Mc At 'em)
What was the name of the high school Zack Morris, AC Slater, and Kelly Kapowski attended?
Quote from: brainpauseWhat was the name of the high school Zack Morris, AC Slater, and Kelly Kapowski attended?
Sky High
What does a Hot Air Balloon need to rise?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat does a Hot Air Balloon need to rise?
flatulence, it's a very volitlie gas. One must be very careful around it.
If you took the first right, then the 4th left and the 1st right,then the 4th left from your diveway where would you be?
Quote from: ForestCreatureIf you took the first right, then the 4th left and the 1st right,then the 4th left from your diveway where would you be?
At my girlfriend's house. :yikes:
How many gallons are in a 7'x7' spa?
7862 gallons
What is the opposite of Medium?
Quote from: vjm1639
What is the opposite of Medium?[/QUOTELargeium
How long is the Great Wall of China?
6,000 miles
What is Formication?
It's new math.
How do you get bird flu?
by kissing a chicken
who was Bimbo the great?
Bambi's cousin
Why doesn't it ever rain in California?
It's raining right now - it must be a SCCAMPERS RALLY!!!!!!
Why does beer taste sooooooooo goooood?
Quote from: KellyBambi's cousin
Why doesn't it ever rain in California?
It's raining right now!! It must be a SCCAMPERS RALLY!!
Why does beer taste sooooooooo goooooooooood?
Quote from: griffsdadWhy does beer taste sooooooooo goooooooooood?
Because we are all alkies.
Why does it seem like you can drink twice the amount of beer when you're camping?
it's the fresh air
who is Mrs. hewlett hodges?
She started the first rock collection
What is an NEO?[/FONT]
Quote from: Kelly
What is an NEO?
A member of the Nobody Eats Olives club
7 months of the year have 31 days; how many have 28?
Quote from: ForestCreature
7 months of the year have 31 days; how many have 28?
6
When did the Gremans bomb Pearl Horbor?
Quote from: TheViking6
When did the Gremans bomb Pearl Horbor?
June 7 1928
whit is a hippiator?
Quote from: Dee4jwhit is a hippiator?
An alcoholic beverage that will turn you into a hippie for a day.
What's another name for saltpeter?
Quote from: AustinBostonAn alcoholic beverage that will turn you into a hippie for a day.
What's another name for saltpeter?
Seasoning with a punch!
How does one ride "On" a plane?
Quote from: SkipPHow does one ride "On" a plane?
With their seats in the upright position.
What is Waxing Gibbous?
Quote from: KellyWith their seats in the upright position.
What is Waxing Gibbous?
Primates at the car wash!
Why are they called Stop Lights?
...because "Cease Motion Light Emitting Diodes was too long...?
Whats a panacea?...
Quote from: chkster...because "Cease Motion Light Emitting Diodes was too long...?
Whats a panacea?...
A single-use cooking utensil. Normally found in finer stores near the potpourri.
What was the name of the cow that jumped over the moon?
waxing gibbous...
how much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck?
Quote from: chksterwaxing gibbous...
how much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck?
None. Chuck, since retiring, is now chucking newspapers.
Why did Jack and Jill go UP the hill to fetch a pail of water?
Quote from: SkipPNone. Chuck, since retiring, is now chucking newspapers.
Why did Jack and Jill go UP the hill to fetch a pail of water?
Because they needed a mixer for their bottle of scotch.
Why are bricks red?
Quote from: Chez WayWhy are bricks red?
Because Jack fell on them.
When was the Erie Canal opened?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause Jack fell on them.
When was the Erie Canal opened?
October 31st!
Why does lite beer weigh the same as regular beer?
Quote from: SkipPWhy does lite beer weigh the same as regular beer?
Because it's not real beer.
How does frost bulid up on a camper fridge/freezer that's been left on for 2 weeks with the door wide open happen?
Jack Frost just loves a good refridgerator.
Why could Jack Sprat eat no fat?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy could Jack Sprat eat no fat?
Because Dr Atkins told him not to.
Why could his wife eat no lean?
Quote from: KellyWhy could his wife eat no lean?
Because she was a vegetarian.
Who sailed the deep green sea in fourteen hundred ninety-three?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause she was a vegetarian.
Who sailed the deep green sea in fourteen hundred ninety-three?
Austin
Cristopher Cross...I've heard the song; "Sailing"
Why did Little Miss Muffet sit on a tuffet?
Quote from: SkipPCristopher Cross...I've heard the song; "Sailing"
Why did Little Miss Muffet sit on a tuffet?
To ease her hemroids.
Why do dogs turn in circles before they lay down?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWhy do dogs turn in circles before they lay down?
Just to unwind a bit before they go to bed.
Again with the 'no question'! Trying to kill it all over again?
How do angels get their wings?
CT-er
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erHow do angels get their wings?
CT-er
They steal them from Victoria's Secret.
Why does AustinBoston keep forgetting to put in a question?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy does AustinBoston keep forgetting to put in a question?
Because his mind's on Victoria's Secret ;)
If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
Quote from: brainpauseIf love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?
It has something to do with seeing by touch.
Touch is one of the 7 senses, what are the other 6?
Quote from: ForestCreatureIt has something to do with seeing by touch.
Touch is one of the 7 senses, what are the other 6?
Don't know, once I see the lingerie, I have no sense.
Quote from: GeneFDon't know, once I see the lingerie, I have no sense.
Apparently have no questions, either.
Who else forgets to ask a new question?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho else forgets to ask a new question?
ForestCreature.
How many sides does The Pentagon actually have?
CT-er
Quote from: AustinBostonApparently have no questions, either.
Who else forgets to ask a new question?
Austin, If I see the lingerie,I don't ask questions.
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erForestCreature.
How many sides does The Pentagon actually have?
CT-er
37
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The cow was in a jumping contest at Madison Square Gardens.
What color is a blue moon?
Quote from: tlhdocThe cow was in a jumping contest at Madison Square Gardens.
What color is a blue moon?
Teal.
How often do blue moons occur?
Quote from: AustinBostonHow often do blue moons occur?
On the third full moon of any month.
What is the one name that you cannot call someone at
arveeclub.com?
Toad!
How do dryers eat socks?
QuoteHow do dryers eat socks?
With mustard and relish.
What makes a hot dog "hot"?
[What makes a hot dog "hot"?]
A Mr. Buddy.
What is in a "Baked Alaska?"
Quote from: jakelaw[What makes a hot dog "hot"?]
What is in a "Baked Alaska?"
Three baked Texases.
What makes Mars so red?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat makes Mars so red?
Food coloring, there was a devistating industrial accident at a baking factory.
What are Texases?
Quote from: ForestCreature What are Texases?
The filling, in pairs of Texjeans.
What country do German Shepherds hail from?
CT-er
Pakistan.
Why do some dogs chase their tails?
Quote from: AustinBostonPakistan.
Why do some dogs chase their tails?
it's safer than chasing cars?
Why are Zucchini's green?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy are Zucchini's green?
They're envious of the tomatoes.
Why did early Americans believe tomatoes were poisonous?
Quote from: AustinBostonThey're envious of the tomatoes.
Why did early Americans believe tomatoes were poisonous?
Because someone mis-interpeted the name as Tom-ate-toes and knew that that couldn't be anything but bad.
Why does Charleston, SC have a line of historic houses all painted pastel colors and yet call it Rainbow Row?
Quote from: SkipPWhy does Charleston, SC have a line of historic houses all painted pastel colors and yet call it Rainbow Row?
Because It is a highly populated gay community
Who said the Moon is made of cheese?
Quote from: TheVikingWho said the Moon is made of cheese?
Renowned 18th-Century dairyman/philosopher Val V. Ta.
Does the fridge interior stay lit when the door's closed?
CT-er
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erRenowned 18th-Century dairyman/philosopher Val V. Ta.
Does the fridge interior stay lit when the door's closed?
CT-er
yes, so the mold can see where it is growing
Why do ducks fly south?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy do ducks fly south?
Because they know (despite Katrina) that you can't get really good Cajun cooking, or good jumbalaya, north of N'awlins.
Why do ducks fly north in the spring?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause they know (despite Katrina) that you can't get really good Cajun cooking, or good jumbalaya, north of N'awlins.
Why do ducks fly north in the spring?
To watch Ohio St. beat Michigan
Who is Larry Mose?
Quote from: Dee4jWho is Larry Mose?
The coach of Ohio State
Why is Ohio State Football so over rated?
Quote from: TheVikingThe coach of Ohio State
Why is Ohio State Football so over rated?
Because they have a nut for a mascot.
If there is a book about jellyfish, does it still have a spine?
Quote from: SkipPIf there is a book about jellyfish, does it still have a spine?
Yes, but it is extremely bendable.
Where does Sponge Bob live?
"Where does Sponge Bob live?"
With his parents, he is a "sponge" isn't he?
Who did we fight in the Mexican/American war?
Quote from: jakelawWho did we fight in the Mexican/American war?
The Tortilla army.
Why do we pronounce the "ll" in tortilla like a "y"?
Quote from: AustinBostonThe Tortilla army.
Why do we pronounce the "ll" in tortilla like a "y"?
Because if it had an "s" sound, it could be mistaken for a female turtle!
Does a turtle have a reverse gear?
Quote from: SkipPDoes a turtle have a reverse gear?
No, he just sucks his head into the neck hole pulls in the legs and does a 180 in the shell. This is not a case of having a head up ones butt...just out.
Is the spring in spring water made out of aluminum or steel?
Quote from: ForestCreatureIs the spring in spring water made out of aluminum or steel?
Neither. It's a fiberglass core with a composite carbon fiber shell.
Will fiberglass improve regularity like a glass of fiber will?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWill fiberglass improve regularity like a glass of fiber will?
Austin
No, but only because Owens Corning never met a mucil he didn't like.
Who never met a man he didn't like?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erNo, but only because Owens Corning never met a mucil he didn't like.
Who never met a man he didn't like?
Jaws!
Where do you suppose McDonalds gets those square fish to make the sandwichs with?
Quote from: SkipPJaws!
Where do you suppose McDonalds gets those square fish to make the sandwichs with?
From the Square Sea.
Why are nerds called squares?
Quote from: Chez WayWhy are nerds called squares?
That's what old people called them back in the day. Doh!
Why does Jeanne want to hurt me now?
Quote from: TheVikingThat's what old people called them back in the day. Doh!
Why does Jeanne want to hurt me now?
Because I took all your money at poker!
Why does 4 aces beat 4 kings?
Quote from: Chez WayWhy does 4 aces beat 4 kings?
Because the kings are unarmed and out of shape.
Why did King Henry VIII remove the head of his wife, Anne Bolin?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause the kings are unarmed and out of shape.
Why did King Henry VIII remove the head of his wife, Anne Bolin?
Austin
'cause he only had half a brain and needed a whole one.
Why are bathrooms on ships called "heads"?
Quote from: SkipPWhy are bathrooms on ships called "heads"?
Because the phrase originated in the Navy. Back then the Navy was full of men exclusively, and that is the part of their body where their brain is :D
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Absolutely!
What does the 10th dentist recommend?
Quote from: tlhdocWhat does the 10th dentist recommend?
Allowing your teeth to decay so he has more business filling and pulling teeth.
What are teeth made of?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat are teeth made of?
Burnished strontium (look it up).
Whose face appears on a $500 bill?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBurnished strontium (look it up).
Whose face appears on a $500 bill?
Ronald McDonald!
Whats the nugget made of in Chicken McNuggets?
chicken feet
Who named the Super Bowl the Super Bowl?
The super-intendant of football.
Who invented football?
Quote from: cycloneWho invented football?
Casper Milquetoast
Why don't football players ride bicycles?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy don't football players ride bicycles?
Deemed too dangerous
Who invented the Bicycle?
ziegfried and roy
Why do we have daylight savings time?
Quote from: griffsdad
Why do we have daylight savings time?[/QUOTEBanks aren't open at night for savings.
Whose idea was it that we can eat cows?
Quote from: TheVikingWhose idea was it that we can eat cows?
Porky Pig's
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
Quote from: KellyWhy does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
Because only Reindeer can be reigned in.
Why does Santa have the reindeer pull a sleigh?
Because he was afraid that push would come to shove and thought pulling was safer.
If you are afraid of Santa, what is it called?
Quote from: cycloneIf you are afraid of Santa, what is it called?
Jollyelfobia.
Why do men run with the bulls in Pamplona?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy do men run with the bulls in Pamplona?
To impress women.
Does it work?
Quote from: KellyTo impress women.
Does it work?
Only if the life insurance policy is paid up.
Why do bulls like the color red?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do bulls like the color red?
Because it doesn't make their butt look big.
What's a Boston Butt roast?
Quote from: SkipPOnly if the life insurance policy is paid up.
Remember that the answers are supposed to be wrong - not necessarily funny.
Quote from: brainpauseWhat's a Boston Butt roast?
Something that happens after Harvard University's Hasty Pudding Club meets.
What makes Boston Baked Beans brown?*
*Respondents are reminded that this is a family forum.Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonRemember that the answers are supposed to be wrong - not necessarily funny.
Something that happens after Harvard University's Hasty Pudding Club meets.
What makes Boston Baked Beans brown?*
*Respondents are reminded that this is a family forum.
Austin
All the tea dumped into the harber!
Why do we put bacon in baked beans??
Quote from: unclejeffAll the tea dumped into the harber!
Why do we put bacon in baked beans??
To give bacon that baked bean flavor.
What did Jack use to make the bean stalk grow so tall?
viagra
Why is ballroom dancing an Olympic Event?
Quote from: griffsdadWhy is ballroom dancing an Olympic Event?
You have obviously never danced with a ballroom!
What event has been held at every Winter Olympics?
Quote from: AustinBostonYou have obviously never danced with a ballroom!
What event has been held at every Winter Olympics?
Dog Sled Racing!
Why do dog sledders yell MUSH!!??
Quote from: unclejeffWhy do dog sledders yell MUSH!!??
To stop the team.
What do you do if you see bare dancing in the woods?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erTo stop the team.
What do you do if you see bare dancing in the woods?
Make coffee!!
Play "Dead" and dance!
Why did Yogi Bear take the picnic basket from Mr. Ranger?
Quote from: unclejeffWhy did Yogi Bear take the picnic basket from Mr. Ranger?
Because Mr. Ranger always had much better lunches than the pop-up campers.
What do you do with a three-hole punch?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause Mr. Ranger always had much better lunches than the pop-up campers.
What do you do with a three-hole punch?
Make confetti.
Why do Martians make crop circles? :p
Quote from: unclejeffMake confetti.
Why do Martians make crop circles? :p
because their ships are round
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
16 more than when we were kids.
Why is their less tootsie stuff in the center of a tootsie pop these days?
Quote from: cycloneWhy is their less tootsie stuff in the center of a tootsie pop these days?
chocolate shortage
Where is the sweetest place on Earth?
Big Rock Candy Mountain!!!
Why are elephants afraid of mice?
Quote from: unclejeffWhy are elephants afraid of mice?
Mice have Mace.
Why did Mrs. Jumbo pre-dispose her child's formal education success chances by calling him.....Dumbo?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy did Mrs. Jumbo pre-dispose her child's formal education success chances by calling him.....Dumbo?
Because it was kinder than calling him Blithering Idiot.
What does blithering mean, anyway?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause it was kinder than calling him Blithering Idiot.
What does blithering mean, anyway?
:W It's a type of snake that became extinct 3 million years ago!
Why is leftover salmon so good?
Quote from: unclejeffWhy is leftover salmon so good?
Cooking removes the salmon ella -- the ella part has been known to cause shingles.
Why won't a watched pot boil?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy won't a watched pot boil?
Because nobody boils watches anymore.
How long does it take to boil eggs?
Quote from: TheVikingBecause nobody boils watches anymore.
How long does it take to boil eggs?
Nobody knows because if you watch them, they won't boil.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Quote from: SkipPWhy doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
It does ~ have you ever tried to get that last little bit out?
Why did grandma move over the river and through the woods?
Quote from: KellyIt does ~ have you ever tried to get that last little bit out?
That's a right answer, Kelly...these are supposed to be always wrong, even if the question is wrong. ;)
QuoteWhy did grandma move over the river and through the woods?[/COLOR][/FONT]
To get away from her bloodsucking grandchildren, who all through school were always hitting her up for fundraisers, and after that they were always looking for "loans" to buy cars, houses, and the like. Since she was greedy, and since there was no convenient bridge, anbd since property values were lower on the far side of the river and the woods, she figured she would keep more of her money if she moved. So she did.
So, what ever became of the big, bad wolf?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonSo, what ever became of the big, bad wolf?
Austin
He moved in with the 3 little pigs.
What day is Thanksgiving on?
Quote from: TheVikingHe moved in with the 3 little pigs.
What day is Thanksgiving on?
Friday....after surviving the M-I-L's Cranberry casserole from the day prior.
Why did the Pilgrims wear those funky hats?
Quote from: SkipPWhy did the Pilgrims wear those funky hats?
To hide their funky hair dos
How many pilgrims ate at the first Thanksgiving dinner?
Quote from: ForestCreatureTo hide their funky hair dos
How many pilgrims ate at the first Thanksgiving dinner?
too many ...according to the Indians
Who made the first fruit cake??
Quote from: Dee4jWho made the first fruit cake??
Eve
Why won't anyone eat it?
Quote from: KellyEve
Why won't anyone eat it?
because it's so pretty no one wants to destroy it so they send it to their friends to enjoy the next year
why do we put lights on a xmas tree???
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do we put lights on a xmas tree???
So we don't trip over them in the dark.
Why are there 12 days of Christmas?
Quote from: KellySo we don't trip over them in the dark.
Why are there 12 days of Christmas?
To get rid of all that leftover food from thanksgiving!!
What is a hen way?
Quote from: unclejeffTo get rid of all that leftover food from thanksgiving!!
What is a hen way?
a road just for chickens
What is a cornicopia?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is a cornicopia?
A method that corn employs to deal with problems.
What kind of problems can corn have?
LC
Quote from: brainpauseWhat kind of problems can corn have?
Like this game, it can get too corny.
What is a cereal grain?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat is a cereal grain?
Austin
It's the Grain of bullet that Cereal killers use.
How long can we keep this game up?
Quote from: TheVikingIt's the Grain of bullet that Cereal killers use.
How long can we keep this game up?
Until the cows come home.
What is the largest bovine breed in the world?
[/SIZE]
Quote from: Fishin BCUntil the cows come home.
What is the largest bovine breed in the world?
It's a type of tropical tree that grows underwater upside down in the shallow waters off Australia capturing divers and eating them when they go snorkling :p ;)
What was the best thing before sliced bread?? :D
Quote from: unclejeffWhat was the best thing before sliced bread?
Really thick grilled cheese sandwiches.
Where do the PUTers go after dark?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erReally thick grilled cheese sandwiches.
Where do the PUTers go after dark?
Down to the river and howl at the moon!
How many turkeys does it take to pursuede the farmer to butcher the pig?
Quote from: unclejeffHow many turkeys does it take to pursuede the farmer to butcher the pig?
The whole herd!
What percentage of Americans eat ham rather than turkey on Thanksgiving?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe whole herd!
What percentage of Americans eat ham rather than turkey on Thanksgiving?
84.35% (as estimated by T.O.M-
The Other Meat)
(poll error may be plus or minus 90%)
Who ate the first cranberry?
Quote from: SkipPWho ate the first cranberry?
Kelly did!
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Quote from: ForestCreature
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Because Kelly made it work that way.
What does it mean when your number is up?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat does it mean when your number is up?
It means Kelly is coming to visit and she's bringing friends.
Why was my name dragged into this? (and doesn't it break the rules of the game?)
Quote from: KellyIt means Kelly is coming to visit and she's bringing friends.
Why was my name dragged into this? (and doesn't it break the rules of the game?)
Because you are Austin Bostons quiet neighbor.
What did Jim Neighbors call the folks who lived next door?
Quote from: SkipPWhat did Jim Neighbors call the folks who lived next door?
(.....just guessing here)The Kellys.
What is more American than turkey, stuffing and football?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-er(.....just guessing here)
The Kellys.
What is more American than turkey, stuffing and football?
The Kelly Girl!
Who stuffed the first turkey?
Quote from: SkipPThe Kelly Girl!
Who stuffed the first turkey?
Tom Stuffingopolis
how can "evaporated" milk come in a can???
Quote from: Dee4jhow can "evaporated" milk come in a can???
It has to evaporate somewhere!!
Can any of you figure out who this is? Neener
Quote from: Davrc4It has to evaporate somewhere!!
Can any of you figure out who this is? Neener
A king from Cali
where did neener neener neener come from?
From Nathan's Famous Neeners in Cooney Island.
Why do we stuff a turkey?
Quote from: griffsdadFrom Nathan's Famous Neeners in Cooney Island.
Why do we stuff a turkey?
to disguise the foul taste of the poultry!
who invented the hot dog?
Quote from: unclejeffto disguise the foul taste of the poultry!
who invented the hot dog?
Dogatella Versace (dress 'er up in a designer dress, a little perfure, a hair job and you got one Hot Dog!)
Why do dogs and cats fight?
Quote from: SkipPDogatella Versace (dress 'er up in a designer dress, a little perfure, a hair job and you got one Hot Dog!)
Why do dogs and cats fight?
because Dogs are from Venus and cats are from Mars
Where is Mt. Shasta?
Quote from: Dee4jbecause Dogs are from Venus and cats are from Mars
Where is Mt. Shasta?
On the shelves in the grocery store....next to Mt. Dew.
Why does pigging out on Thanksgiving day make you so sleepy?
Quote from: SkipPOn the shelves in the grocery store....next to Mt. Dew.
Why does pigging out on Thanksgiving day make you so sleepy?
It's because the turkey's were injected with 10% soulition which is also a tranquilizer, therefore causing the turkeys to be a mild sedative when eaten.
Why is it important to go crazy the day after Thanksgiving trying to find that perfect bargin after standing in that mega long line for hours ownly to be dissapionted to find out the item is sold out?
Because we like to??????????
Who invented pokeyman?
Quote from: griffsdadWho invented pokeyman?
Someone that knew how to spell Pokemon! LOL
How many shopping days are there till Christmas?
Quote from: TheVikingSomeone that knew how to spell Pokemon! LOL
How many shopping days are there till Christmas?
69
what is a Dolpins favorite thing to do?
Quote from: Dee4j69
what is a Dolpins favorite thing to do?
swim around in shallow water and pretend they are a shark :p ;)
[/COLOR]
Quote from: unclejeffswim around in shallow water and pretend they are a shark :p ;)
I forgot to leave a question!
What did the apple say to the orange?
Quote from: unclejeffWhat did the apple say to the orange?
"Comparatively speaking, you and I have a lot in common."
What did the orange reply?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-er"Comparatively speaking, you and I have a lot in common."
What did the orange reply?
orange you glad we're friends
why do people put tinsel on their xmas tree?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do people put tinsel on their xmas tree?
So the cat can eat it.
How do you get tinsel out of a cat?
Quote from: ForestCreature How do you get tinsel out of a cat?
With a tinsel remover.
How do you know when all the tinsel is out?
Quote from: KellyWith a tinsel remover.
How do you know when all the tinsel is out?
By checking the tinsel meter on the tinsel remover.
What do you do if the tensil remover's battery run out of juice?
Quote from: unclejeffBy checking the tinsel meter on the tinsel remover.
What do you do if the tensil remover's battery run out of juice?
give it a beer
what makes beer taste so good?
Quote from: Dee4jgive it a beer
what makes beer taste so good?
Mississippi River water (Budweiser St. Louis, MO)
How many beers did it take to get Barney drunk?
Quote from: unclejeffMississippi River water (Budweiser St. Louis, MO)
How many beers did it take to get Barney drunk?
none...Barney only drinks Purple hooter shooters
Why did they make Barney Purple??
Quote from: Dee4jWhy did they make Barney Purple??
Purple covers the bruising.
Where in the world is Matt Lauer?
Matt's at Vail Lake in his Coleman PUT playing Apples to Apples with the SCCAMPERS!
What is Tequilla made from?
Quote from: griffsdadMatt's at Vail Lake in his Coleman PUT playing Apples to Apples with the SCCAMPERS!
What is Tequilla made from?
It's the highly refined extract from the root of Maximallius Hangoverexcessivus Peuka plant.
Is the worm in the tequilla bottle smiling?
Quote from: SkipPIs the worm in the tequilla bottle smiling?
NO, he is laughing at the fool who emptied the whole bottle
Why did my Hard Drive die this morning?
My guess is AIM caused it.
What would banshees taste like made with tequila?
Quote from: cycloneMy guess is AIM caused it.
What would banshees taste like made with tequila?
Wormy banshees
where did the drink name "Bloody Mary" come from?
Quote from: SkipPWormy banshees
where did the drink name "Bloody Mary" come from?
from Hannibal Lecter
why does Rudolph have a red nose?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy does Rudolph have a red nose?
Because he refuses to have a Brown nose.
Who built the Grand Canyon?
Quote from: TheVikingWho built the Grand Canyon?
It wasn't built, it was dug by aliens on a mission to find a secret underground entrance to Area 51.
Were the aliens successful?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonIt wasn't built, it was dug by aliens on a mission to find a secret underground entrance to Area 51.
Were the aliens successful?
Austin
Yes they were. Thats why the Government built Lake Mead...to flood the big ditch and keep the alien invaders at bay. The conspiracy continues.....
Why do aliens have green skin?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do aliens have green skin?
Skip P in NC
Outdoor Photography site: http://www.bellsouthpwp.net/o/u/outdoorphoto/
I suspect it has to do with shutter speed.
Is there an Area 52?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erIs there an Area 52?
Yes. Area 52 is where our government maintains it's real important secrets, like where socks go when they get lost in the wash.
Where do socks go when they get lost in the wash?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonYes. Area 52 is where our government maintains it's real important secrets, like where socks go when they get lost in the wash.
Where do socks go when they get lost in the wash?
Austin
area 51 to keep the aliens feet warm
why do aliens have 3 fingers?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do aliens have 3 fingers?
They lose one when they beam down.
If the socks from the wash go to Area 51, where do the ones from the dryer go?
Quote from: KellyIf the socks from the wash go to Area 51, where do the ones from the dryer go?
The IRS.
What does the IRS do with those socks?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonThe IRS.
What does the IRS do with those socks?
Austin
They sock-it to the taxpayer.
Why does only one sock of a pair wear a hole if they're both worn the same number of times?
Quote from: SkipPThey sock-it to the taxpayer.
Why does only one sock of a pair wear a hole if they're both worn the same number of times?
because only the toes on right feet have tiny teeth
who made the first snowman?
Quote from: Dee4jwho made the first snowman?
Ay Bomin Able
What did he make it out of?
Quote from: AustinBostonAy Bomin Able
What did he make it out of?
His cousin bigfoot.
What does bigfoot do on his day off?
Quote from: unclejeffWhat does bigfoot do on his day off?
Play with littlefoot.
If bigfoot is a he, what do they call the female?
Quote from: ForestCreatureIf bigfoot is a he, what do they call the female?
Yeti.
What did bigfoot do that his wife banished him all the way to another continent?
Quote from: AustinBostonYeti.
What did bigfoot do that his wife banished him all the way to another continent?
He got into her Nair.
Why do they call this creature Bigfoot and not Bigfeet?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do they call this creature Bigfoot and not Bigfeet?
Because his hands are enormous.
Back to measuring horses.....how tall is a 'hand'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBack to measuring horses.....how tall is a 'hand'?
1 foot + 1/2 a Leg = 1 hand
How do they make glue?
Glue is made from left socks that have been lost in the wash. Epoxy is made from right socks lost in the dryer.
Where was the first toll road in the US?
Quote from: AustinBostonGlue is made from left socks that have been lost in the wash. Epoxy is made from right socks lost in the dryer.
Where was the first toll road in the US?
Irvine Ca.
why do the call a burrito a burrito?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do they call a burrito a burrito?
Because "deluxe pizza" was already taken.
How many 'fish' are necessary to populate a 'squad'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erHow many 'fish' are necessary to populate a 'squad'?
One..if properly outfitted with Beer.
What is the Chisholm Trail?
Quote from: TheVikingOne..if properly outfitted with Beer.
What is the Chisholm Trail?
a secret Trail people traveled to to hide from the Indians
what is eggnog?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is eggnog?
An abbrieviation for eggnoggin....a drink made out of baby chickens brains.
Do people who drink Eggnog get smarter?
Quote from: ForestCreatureAn abbrieviation for eggnoggin....a drink made out of baby chickens brains.
Do people who drink Eggnog get smarter?
Yes. Eggnog, aka Eggnoggin, aka Egg-shapped noggin, has long been associated with an intelligence level that the Mensa crowd can only envy from afar.
What do members of Mensa talk about?
Quote from: SkipPWhat do members of Mensa talk about?
Trailers, TVs and tow ratings.
What's the optimum tow set-up for a Mensa member?
Quote from: KellyTrailers, TVs and tow ratings.
What's the optimum tow set-up for a Mensa member?
one that the Spouse sets up and Tows
Who started Mensa?
Quote from: Dee4jWho started Mensa?
Larry Fine.
Why are there different time zones across this great land?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy are there different time zones across this great land?
Because a forward-looking Congress knew eventually there would be so many people (and every household would have it's own clock) that if everyone's clocks struck at the same time, it would cause an earthquake that would level the country and perhaps the world.
Who invented the pendulum?
William P. Tictoc.
How did he convince everyone that his method of keeping time would be used by everyone all over the world?
Quote from: unclejeffHow did he convince everyone that his method of keeping time would be used by everyone all over the world?
He used a unique type of multilevel scheme called a pendulum scheme.
Why do so few clocks use pendulums today?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy do so few clocks use pendulums today?
They are rather cumbersome and get in the way, swinging from your arm all the time.
What does the word "cumbersome" mean?
LC
Quote from: brainpauseThey are rather cumbersome and get in the way, swinging from your arm all the time.
What does the word "cumbersome" mean?
LC
Jeeeez Larry. Thought everyone knew that one! It's a waiter/waitress slang that represents "would you like some cucumber on that salad"? When I've ordered loaded salads in the past, the waitress said; "thats cumbersome" and I've said: "yea, them too!"
Where did salad get it's name from?
Quote from: SkipPWhere did salad get it's name from?
Julius "Sid" Caesar.
Is the salad fork on the inside or the outside?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erJulius "Sid" Caesar.
Is the salad fork on the inside or the outside?
inside...inside the drawer that is ...less dishes to wash
Why do people like to sing Karaoke?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy do people like to sing Karaoke?
For most karaoke singers, it's a way of keeping their vocal cords in shape between operatic gigs.
Why do people like 'American Idol"?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erFor most karaoke singers, it's a way of keeping their vocal cords in shape between operatic gigs.
Why do people like 'American Idol"?
it allows them to see people that sing worse than they do
What is Oingo Boingo?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is Oingo Boingo?
Pogo stick manufacturing company, Melbourne, Australia. Est. 1943. IPO: 1994. 2003 sales: $17 million. Total employees: 147, plus spokesmodel Bob Geldof.
Who, or what, is "Destiny's Child"?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWho, or what, is "Destiny's Child"?
John Wilson. His mother was Destiny (Latham) Wilson, and father was William Briggs Wilson III. She was famous for, well, not much of anything.
Why do we have 8,589,934,592 ancestors 33 generations back (1,000 years ago), when the world doesn't have that many people today?
Austin (already thinking of a redneck answer)
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy do we have 8,589,934,592 ancestors 33 generations back (1,000 years ago), when the world doesn't have that many people today?
Not enough of our ancestors prepared an effective 'exit strategy'.
In a conference of two, what constitutes a quorum?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erNot enough of our ancestors prepared an effective 'exit strategy'.
In a conference of two, what constitutes a quorum?
me & myself.
is a unilateral 100% discount criminally or civilly liable?
Quote from: Dee4jis a unilateral 100% discount criminally or civilly liable?
Yes, I'm liable to get in trouble with my wife, take the discount or not!
What does "liable" mean, anyway?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat does "liable" mean, anyway?
It defines whether a creative excuse will pass muster, with the missus or the mistress.
What does the term "slander" mean, anyway?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erIt defines whether a creative excuse will pass muster, with the missus or the mistress.
What does the term "slander" mean, anyway?
it's a reference to the size of something...."Them there girls are slander"
Why do we have Lawyers?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy do we have Lawyers?
Hmmmm....And the game comes to an end. I don't know a right OR a wrong answer to this one.
Quote from: brainpauseHmmmm....And the game comes to an end. I don't know a right OR a wrong answer to this one.
rotflmao! We have lawyers to keep the cheesy yellow-page-ad-sellers in business, silly ;)
Who invented the yellow pages?
Quote from: KellyWho invented the yellow pages?
A support group for cowards.
Where is the geographic center of the United States?
Quote from: AustinBostonA support group for cowards.
Where is the geographic center of the United States?
Fargo
What is an Ipod?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is an Ipod?
My thesaurus says "sty".
What's another word for thesaurus?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erMy thesaurus says "sty".
What's another word for thesaurus?
prehistoric animal
what is a brontosaurus?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is a brontosaurus?
A specialty burger at In-N-Out
What state was Bedrock in on the Flintstones?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat state was Bedrock in on the Flintstones?
Why the granite state, New Hampshire.
What did New Hampshire's
Old Man Of The Mountains die from?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy the granite state, New Hampshire.
What did New Hampshire's Old Man Of The Mountains die from?
He was stoned.
What would happen if they discovered that Plymouth Rock was actually a Ford?
Quote from: SkipPHe was stoned.
What would happen if they discovered that Plymouth Rock was actually a Ford?
They would've Packard up their Olds stuff and Chevyed off, and sailed someplace else.
What if Luke Skywalker's weapon had been heavy?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat if Luke Skywalker's weapon had been heavy?
There wouldn't have been a second Star Wars movie.
What is a Jedi?
Quote from: brainpauseWhat is a Jedi?
(Not a 'threadkiller'!)A Jedi is the last person to handle Wonder bread before it is packaged for shipping.
What is a Wookiee?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat is a Wookiee?
I would have said someone who just started playing for the Minnesota Vikings, but latey they've actually been doing pretty good.
Who's going to win the Super Bowl this year?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWho's going to win the Super Bowl this year?
The Detroit Lions :J
When will the Detroit Lions fire Millen?
Quote from: ForestCreature
The Detroit Lions :J
When will the Detroit Lions fire Millen?
today
What's a Geisha?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat's a Geisha?
A very rare, but very colorful tropical fish that lives in small streams on the plains of Kenya and Tanzania.
What differentiates tropical fish from non-tropical fish?
Austin
QuoteWhat differentiates tropical fish from non-tropical fish?
You can tell the tropical ones by whether or not you see them in the fish tank at the Rainforest Cafe.
Would you want to camp in the Rainforest?
Quote from: cycloneQuoteWhat differentiates tropical fish from non-tropical fish?
You can tell the tropical ones by whether or not you see them in the fish tank at the Rainforest Cafe.
Would you want to camp in the Rainforest?
no I don't like to camp in the rain
What Does Mardi Gras mean??
Quote from: Dee4jWhat Does Mardi Gras mean??
It's French-Canadian for 'Party While You Can'.
What does Coup de Gras mean?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat does Coup de Gras mean?
"He went for a haircut, and got more cut off than he expected."
Who said "If you are not a liberal at 20 you have no heart; if you're not a conservative at 30, you have no brain?"
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWho said "If you are not a liberal at 20 you have no heart; if you're not a conservative at 30, you have no brain?" Austin
Howard Stern
How many shopping days left till Christmas?
Quote from: TheVikingHow many shopping days left till Christmas?
375 shopping days
Who got the best piece of Ash? :)
Quote from: ForestCreatureWho got the best piece of Ash? :)
Mike Piazza.
What happened to the Packers this year?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erMike Piazza.
What happened to the Packers this year?
They didn't go for a boat ride.
Is there really a bay in Green Bay?
Quote from: SkipPThey didn't go for a boat ride.
Is there really a bay in Green Bay?
yes but it's nothing you'd want to swim in
What is a cheese head?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is a cheese head?
It's the foamy material that forms on top of beer, um, I mean cheese when it's fresh on tap.
Why does beer have a foamy head?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy does beer have a foamy head?
Any brewmaster worth a plugged nickel* will tell you it's a combination of pheromones and premature condensation.
What are hops?
(* for 'kids' like Kelly: ...look it up)
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erAny brewmaster worth a plugged nickel* will tell you it's a combination of pheromones and premature condensation.
What are hops?
(* for 'kids' like Kelly: ...look it up)
it's a move in a game that's played on a sidewalk
what's nascar?
Quote from: Dee4jit's a move in a game that's played on a sidewalk
Oh yeah, with a jigger of Scotch!
Quote from: Dee4jwhat's nascar?
The infamous Needy Anglican Sailors' Care and Respite, a northern England seaside 'assisted-living' retirement community. Where Sean Connery first worked as an orderly. Of course.
What's ASCAP?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat's ASCAP?
A Scoop of Chocolate And Pretzels
Who invented chocolate covered pretzels, anyway?
Quote from: AustinBostonA Scoop of Chocolate And Pretzels
Who invented chocolate covered pretzels, anyway?
Mr. Ghiardeli Wetzel
what's a Fig Newton?
what's a Fig Newton?
Isaac Newton's dog.
Where's Kelly?
Quote from: cyclonewhat's a Fig Newton?
Isaac Newton's dog.
Where's Kelly?
Trapped inside a tangled web of xmas lights
Why is it so hard to get xmas cards out to be delivered BEFORE xmas?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy is it so hard to get xmas cards out to be delivered BEFORE xmas?
Because you forget to capitalize Xmas.
Who started abbreviating Christmas as Xmas?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho started abbreviating Christmas as Xmas?
The Grinch, of course.
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.
Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.
You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
Copyright
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe Grinch, of course.
What is the best Jim Carrey movie?
The Sound of Music.
How much does Jim Carrey make per movie?
Quote from: TheVikingThe Sound of Music.
How much does Jim Carrey make per movie?
$23 an hour
What is a Viking?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is a Viking?
Why, a king of the Vies, of course.
How many times have the Minnesota Vikings won the superbowl?
Quote from: AustinBostonHow many times have the Minnesota Vikings won the superbowl?
Four times, three of which were in the 60s heyday of coach Jack "The Ripper" Washington.
Where will the next Super Bowl be played?
"Where will the next Super Bowl be played?"
At Jim's Bowlarama In Milwakee of course! :D
What is Vertigo, and why was there a movie made about it? :eyecrazy:
Quote from: jakelawWhat is Vertigo, and why was there a movie made about it? :eyecrazy:
Vertigo is a constellation that is only visible in the Southern Hemisphere, where people stand upside down. They made a movie about it because people in the Northern Hemisphere would never have believed it any other way.
Why don't people in the Southern Hemisphere always feel vertigo?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy don't people in the Southern Hemisphere always feel vertigo?
Vertigo doesn't always consent, and that makes it wrong.
Is there any factuality to the horoscopes in the newspaper?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erVertigo doesn't always consent, and that makes it wrong.
Is there any factuality to the horoscopes in the newspaper?
yes as so my horoscope today told me...
What happens when you add White Chocolate to milk?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat happens when you add White Chocolate to milk?
It gests stolen and drank by Austi...oh, these are wrong answers...you get a strong chemical reaction that makes your hair fall out.
Why do some dairy farmers feed their herd chocolate?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonIt gests stolen and drank by Austi...oh, these are wrong answers...you get a strong chemical reaction that makes your hair fall out.
Why do some dairy farmers feed their herd chocolate?
Austin
Keeps their eyes from turning blue
When the cow jumped over the moon....where did he land?
QuoteWhen the cow jumped over the moon....where did he land?
At Top o' the Caves and it knocked their electricity out.
Is a cow pie edible?
Quote from: cycloneIs a cow pie edible?
Yes, but nine out of ten dentists don't recommend the practice.
Why is one dentist always a recommendation hold-out?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erYes, but nine out of ten dentists don't recommend the practice.
Why is one dentist always a recommendation hold-out?
he refuses to tell the hole tooth
when a chiropractor make a commitment does he ever back out?
Quote from: Dee4jwhen a chiropractor make a commitment does he ever back out?
The spineless ones will.
Why can't we fold, spindle, or mutilate?
Quote from: AustinBostonThe spineless ones will.
Why can't we fold, spindle, or mutilate?
Because the postal service refuses to iron, untwist or perform plastic surgery on our mail!
Why do dogs like to attack the postman/woman?
Quote from: SkipPBecause the postal service refuses to iron, untwist or perform plastic surgery on our mail!
Why do dogs like to attack the postman/woman?
Beacause at close range they can't draw down on them with thier Uzzi's fast enough.
Why do public services always manage to stike just before a holiday?
Quote from: barbjeffWhy do public services always manage to stike just before a holiday?
Labor pains kick in 'round this time of year. :p
How
does Santa fit down a chimney?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erLabor pains kick in 'round this time of year. :p
How does Santa fit down a chimney?
he covers himself with wesson oil and slides right in
Why can't anyone see Santa flying in the sky?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy can't anyone see Santa flying in the sky?
I don't know what you're problem is, but I see him just fine.
Why do some people give oranges on Christmas?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy do some people give oranges on Christmas?
To show their tacit approval of the upcoming FedEx Cingular Shearson-Lehmann Disneyland Owens-Corning Orange Bowl.
Why do some people
get coal on Christmas?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erTo show their tacit approval of the upcoming FedEx Cingular Shearson-Lehmann Disneyland Owens-Corning Orange Bowl.
Why do some people get coal on Christmas?
Cuz they ask for it. ( at least I do...)
Why do people use carrots for noses on snowpeople? (snowpeople
)
Quote from: SteamnutWhy do people use carrots for noses on snowpeople?
That practice started with the infamous Vegetable Excess of 1903, when there were trainloads of wasting, rotting vegetables sitting in Chicago railyards. The influx of garden veggies coincided with the Labor Unrest of 1903. Your long-nosed 'snowpeople' is what happens when you mix unneeded foodstuffs with idle Chicago men. Really.
If Santa's sleigh is pulled by
eight tiny reindeer, where is Rudolph harnessed?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThat practice started with the infamous Vegetable Excess of 1903, when there were trainloads of wasting, rotting vegetables sitting in Chicago railyards. The influx of garden veggies coincided with the Labor Unrest of 1903. Your long-nosed 'snowpeople' is what happens when you mix unneeded foodstuffs with idle Chicago men. Really.
If Santa's sleigh is pulled by eight tiny reindeer, where is Rudolph harnessed?
Rudolph isn't harnessed. He's the one far out in the front wearing the armored jacket and drawing flack (thus the red nose).
What do those reindeer eat to give them the needed propulsion to fly the Big Guy around?
Quote from: SkipPRudolph isn't harnessed. He's the one far out in the front wearing the armored jacket and drawing flack (thus the red nose).
What do those reindeer eat to give them the needed propulsion to fly the Big Guy around?
lots and lots of refried beans...
why do we cut down a pine tree, bring it in the house, decorate it, call it a christmas tree and put presents under it???
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do we cut down a pine tree, bring it in the house, decorate it, call it a christmas tree and put presents under it???
'cause that's the way we've always done it...oh, forgot again...supposed to be wrong answers...um...because that's what Abraham Lincoln thought we should do.
Who's the worst US President of all time?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBoston'cause that's the way we've always done it...oh, forgot again...supposed to be wrong answers...um...because that's what Abraham Lincoln thought we should do.
Who's the worst US President of all time?
Austin
Ben Franklin
what's a New Years resolution?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat's a New Years resolution?
It's when congress (or any state legislature) approves something like this during the month of January:
- Whereas, it has always been known as such, and
- Whereas, there has been no relocation in the building once known as the Presidential Palace and today known as the White House, and
- Whereas, there is now widespread use of it as such, and
- Whereas, making any change to it would cause confusion and incite rebellion, therefore,
Be it hereby resolved and known in all parts that the address of the official residence of the President of the United States shall now and furthermore offcially be recognized as Sixteen-Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.Why do most New Year's Resolutions fail?
Quote from: AustinBostonIt's when congress (or any state legislature) approves something like this during the month of January:
- Whereas, it has always been known as such, and
- Whereas, there has been no relocation in the building once known as the Presidential Palace and today known as the White House, and
- Whereas, there is now widespread use of it as such, and
- Whereas, making any change to it would cause confusion and incite rebellion, therefore,
Be it hereby resolved and known in all parts that the address of the official residence of the President of the United States shall now and furthermore offcially be recognized as Sixteen-Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
Why do most New Year's Resolutions fail?
because no one knows wheretheiras is
what is cyber space?
It's that place where you can't find your car keys.
What is DNA?
Quote from: griffsdadWhat is DNA?
Do Not Ask.
Who won last year's Superbowl?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho won last year's Superbowl?
Boston Red Sox
Who will win this years Super Bowl?
Quote from: TheVikingBoston Red Sox
Who will win this years Super Bowl?
Kobe Bryant will quaterback the Lakers to a resounding (if improbable) victory over the San Francisco 49's. Terrell Owens will earn the "Nice Guy" award.
Why has the word "Bowl" been assigned to marque football games when there are no alleys nor any bowling pins used in the games?
Quote from: SkipPWhy has the word "Bowl" been assigned to marque football games when there are no alleys nor any bowling pins used in the games?
Haven't you ever looked at an open-air (no roof) football stadium?
Why do they call it basketball, when there is no basket, but a net?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy do they call it basketball, when there is no basket, but a net?
Because the goalposts are parallel to the 'blue line', which comes into play when 'icing' is called.
Who are 'they'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause the goalposts are parallel to the 'blue line', which comes into play when 'icing' is called.
Who are 'they'?
"they" are the ones who charge us too much for gas...too much for medical insurance...and make all the money
what does S.W.A.T mean?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat does S.W.A.T mean?
In some states, it means "Slapped With Another Toll"
What would happen if toll roads were declared unconstitutional?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat would happen if toll roads were declared unconstitutional?
"They" would just make money off us on those notorious 'tool' roads that keep cropping up.... ;)
Who was the cutest Beatle?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-er"They" would just make money off us on those notorious 'tool' roads that keep cropping up.... ;)
Who was the cutest Beatle?
Herbie
What's a jump drive?
Quote from: Dee4jHerbie
Remember, always wrong answers...I can't think of a Beatle that was cuter than Herbie. :p
QuoteWhat's a jump drive?
It's when a car comes and picks you up after a skydive lands you far from your target.
What would prompt someone to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
Quote from: AustinBostonRemember, always wrong answers...I can't think of a Beatle that was cuter than Herbie. :p
It's when a car comes and picks you up after a skydive lands you far from your target.
What would prompt someone to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
to go after the 6 pack of beer your buddy thru out of the plane.
who came up with skydiving?
Quote from: Dee4jwho came up with skydiving?
A drunken Malcolm "Tippy" Brewster, on a cross-country flight in his famed 1956 doorless Cessna 2800.
The name of which new automobile model sounds the lustiest?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe name of which new automobile model sounds the lustiest?
It has to be that new truck called Fourplay. It's a 4 wheel drive and comes in a deep red with black leather seating. If trucks had shoes this one would be decked out in 4" spikes!
Why is it trucks always look great in red ?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWhy is it trucks always look great in red ?
Because they are embarrased and/or angered by everyone (i.e. all the guys) stairing at them (hey, they're lusty, right?).
Why is it that women who drive pickups are either very beautiful or very ugly?
Quote from: AustinBoston
Why is it that women who drive pickups are either very beautiful or very ugly?
roflmao ~ to scare the boys away.
How long did it take AB to hit before he posted his question?
Quote from: KellyHow long did it take AB to hit before he posted his question?
He didn't. When he took a walk to get his nerve up, PJay
ed!
Which is the easiest New Year's Resolution to keep up?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erHe didn't. When he took a walk to get his nerve up, PJay ed!
Which is the easiest New Year's Resolution to keep up?
hmmmm... lose weight & quit drinking beer
why are woman make better campers??
Quote from: Dee4jhmmmm... lose weight & quit drinking beer
why are woman make better campers??
Because Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and everyone knows that Martians prefer to sleep in UFO's (Unusual Fenced Objects...aka Houses)
Why do men use better sentence structure?:D
Quote from: SkipPWhy do men use better sentence structure?:D
Because they can. (Always wrong answer, right?)
When does camping season begin?
QuoteWhen does camping season begin?
Jan. 15
If Kelly is the quiet neighbor, who is the rowdy one?
Quote from: cycloneJan. 15
If Kelly is the quiet neighbor, who is the rowdy one?
In the campground? That would be Jan (who has the mirror ball hanging from the ceiling in her pop-up!).
Where did disco come from?
QuoteWhere did disco come from?
It originated in a small town in North Carolina, where an ingenious photographer used the light shining from the ballroom dance ball as added lighting for an unusual shot; it took some interesting moves on his part to get the right angle, and thus disco was born; rendering ballroom dance nearly obsolete for a time.
Who invented the macarena?
Quote from: cycloneWho invented the macarena?
Dick Van Patten.
Who let the dogs out?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erDick Van Patten.
Who let the dogs out?
The wise ol' owl...Hoo..Hoo..Hoo...Hoo.Hoo...
What are Black Eyed Peas???
Quote from: Dee4jWhat are Black Eyed Peas???
Children who did not mind their Pea's and Q's on the playground.
What's the toughtest branch of the military (note sig before replying)...
Quote from: AustinBostonChildren who did not mind their Pea's and Q's on the playground.
What's the toughtest branch of the military (note sig before replying)...
the one on the tree that has the sniper in it..
what is the bermuda triangle?
Quote from: Dee4j
what is the bermuda triangle?[/QUOTEThe thing you rack pool balls in before you break.
Where is Rio de Janiero?
Quote from: TheVikingQuote from: Dee4j
what is the bermuda triangle?[/QUOTEThe thing you rack pool balls in before you break.
Where is Rio de Janiero?
He's on a date with Carmen Sandiego
What's the tornano belt?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat's the tornano belt?
Holds up you're Tornano's...lol
What is a Tornado belt?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is a Tornado belt?
It's when a Tornado lets you have one in the jaw for being such a jerk.
What's the difference between the question TheViking answered, and the one he asked?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat's the difference between the question TheViking answered, and the one he asked?
No one knows what a Tornano is.
What is a Tyrant?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is a Tyrant?
That's whn Ty gets 'bent', and writes at length about tool roads and sentence structure.
What is a tire iron, and how is it different from a jack handle?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThat's whn Ty gets 'bent', and writes at length about tool roads and sentence structure.
What is a tire iron, and how is it different from a jack handle?
a tire iron is a tool to smooth out the wrinkles in tires and it differs from a jack handle as it's solid and hurts more when you use it to hit someone over the head
Why is it so hard to make a Dr appt.
Quote from: Dee4j
Why is it so hard to make a Dr appt.[/QUOTEIt's not hard, it just takes patients.
Why are Doctors so highly paid?
Quote from: TheVikingWhy are Doctors so highly paid?
Because the hourly rental on cold stethoscopes is outrageous.
What does "ER" really stand for?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat does "ER" really stand for?
"Let me think." Ever heard anyone say anything like this: "That will be...er...three twenty-seven with tax."
What does "uh" really stand for?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat does "uh" really stand for?
University Hospital.
Could an otter safely digest an onomatopoeia?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erUniversity Hospital.
Could an otter safely digest an onomatopoeia?
yes but the ottermightapeea a bit funny for awhile
what is NSA?
Quote from: Dee4jyes but the ottermightapeea a bit funny for awhile
what is NSA?
The National Squirrel Association---a group that meet once a month to discuss nuts.........:screwy:
What is the CIA?
Quote from: Miller TymeThe National Squirrel Association---a group that meet once a month to discuss nuts.........:screwy:
What is the CIA?
the Complete Idiots Association....
if a train leaving New york heading west was traveling at 50mph and another one left Ca. heading east at a speeding of 60 mph....where would they collide??
Quote from: Dee4jif a train leaving New york heading west was traveling at 50mph and another one left Ca. heading east at a speeding of 60 mph....where would they collide??
Never
Where is the PA Farm Show held?
In Lancaster CA
Who founded the ABA?[/FONT]
Quote from: KellyWho founded the ABA?[/FONT]
Three Swedes, in Waterloo.
What is U.N.C.L.E.?
(I knew someone from there, once)
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThree Swedes, in Waterloo.
What is U.N.C.L.E.? (I knew someone from there, once)
Universally Noted Camper-Less Entities (aka; motel dwellers)
How did a computer mouse get it's name?
Quote from: SkipPUniversally Noted Camper-Less Entities (aka; motel dwellers)
How did a computer mouse get it's name?
from some fat cat from microsoft
what's a CPU?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat's a CPU?
CPU is a Cute Pop Up
Where do geese fly to in the fall?
Quote from: tlhdocCPU is a Cute Pop Up
Where do geese fly to in the fall?
to New england to watch the leaves change color
whats a snow bird?
Quote from: Dee4jwhats a snow bird?
A bird made out of snow, of course.
What is a flock of crows called?
Quote from: tlhdocA bird made out of snow, of course.
What is a flock of crows called?
The Black Plague
Why do chickens bob their head when the walk?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do chickens bob their head when the walk?
They bob their heads because they want to look cool.
Why do they call a travel trailer a TT?
Quote from: tlhdocWhy do they call a travel trailer a TT?
Because the abbreviation "TraTra" sounds like someone studdering on "tra la la"
Why is Pop-up sometimes abbreviated PUP?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy is Pop-up sometimes abbreviated PUP?
because a PU looks like a little dog.
Why do dogs have large noses?
Quote from: tlhdocbecause a PU looks like a little dog.
Why do dogs have large noses?
So at 3am, when they're ready to go out, they can stick that large nose in your armpit and
you will wake up!
Why do dogs wag their tail?
Quote from: SkipPWhy do dogs wag their tail?
Because they can't express emotions visually by wagging their duodenum.
If King Kong sired a son, what title would
he have?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause they can't express emotions visually by wagging their duodenum.
If King Kong sired a son, what title would he have?
The prince of Bel Aire
what are the fantastic 4??
Quote from: Dee4jThe prince of Bel Aire
what are the fantastic 4??
A new and very, very young singing group...best known for their rendition of:
"The Itsy Bitsy Spider".
Why doesn't Superman get any bugs in his teeth while doing all that flying around?
He uses large amounts of DEET.
What does DEET stand for, anyway?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat does DEET stand for, anyway?
Discontinue Equine Encephalitis Today
Which State has the highest concentration of those pesky Skeeters?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWhich State has the highest concentration of those pesky Skeeters?
Arizona
What is a Kalamazoo?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is a Kalamazoo?
It's a Zoo exclusively for Kangaroos and Llamas
Where is this Zoo located?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWhere is this Zoo located?
Honolulu
What does Honolulu mean?
Quote from: AustinBostonHonolulu
What does Honolulu mean?
The Honolulu Zoo....
Home of the 10 foot Roo....
Is found in Katmandu
Why is Bob Seeger 'Goin' to Katmandu'?
Quote from: SkipPWhy is Bob Seeger 'Goin' to Katmandu'?
Contractual appearance at a Truck Show.
Speaking of Bob, what are "Night Moves"?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erContractual appearance at a Truck Show.
Speaking of Bob, what are "Night Moves"?
"Night Moves" are why Bob has to get up at 1:00am to use the toilet! :p
What the heck is a "Duodenum?" :confused:
Quote from: jakelaw"Night Moves" are why Bob has to get up at 1:00am to use the toilet! :p
What the heck is a "Duodenum?" :confused:
it's 2 people who sing de number song
what is twisted sister?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is twisted sister?
Dee after a rousing game of Twister.
What is sister christian?
Quote from: KellyDee after a rousing game of Twister.
What is sister christian?
an all female church chior
what is a witchetty?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is a witchetty?
A very large, single-edged knife used to hack one's way through a forest of witches. :yikes:
What was the first spacecraft to land on Mars?
Quote from: AustinBostonA very large, single-edged knife used to hack one's way through a forest of witches. :yikes:
What was the first spacecraft to land on Mars?
Red Rover.
Why is Pluto blue?
Quote from: SkipPWhy is Pluto blue?
Because he is holding his breath in protest.
Who's dog was Pluto?
Quote from: ForestCreatureWho's dog was Pluto?
Clyde Tombaugh, discoverer of Pluto.
What was Percival Lovell famous for?
Quote from: AustinBostonClyde Tombaugh, discoverer of Pluto.
What was Percival Lovell famous for?
for designing and building the starship enterprise
what's a limp bizkit?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat's a limp bizkit?
The reason for Viagra. (Sorry, Had to be done)
Who invented Viagra?
Quote from: TheVikingThe reason for Viagra. (Sorry, Had to be done)
Who invented Viagra?
Victor Niagara
Who is Bob?
Quote from: Dee4jWho is Bob?
A world-famous Kelly Girl (with applologies to Kelly and other girls).
Is "Natural Enhancement" an oxymoron?
Quote from: AustinBostonIs "Natural Enhancement" an oxymoron?
With the look on Bobs face when he gets out of the pool, I would say yes he is an oxyMoron.
At what speed did Bob dive into the pool to have his swimsuit come off?
Quote from: ForestCreature At what speed did Bob dive into the pool to have his swimsuit come off?
Slower than mole a**es.....in January.
Is the front end of a mole faster than the rear?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erIs the front end of a mole faster than the rear?
No, moles are constantly constipated.
What was the ruse the mouse used to convince Dumbo he could fly?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat was the ruse the mouse used to convince Dumbo he could fly?
"Dumbo - you have magic earwax!!"
What is the purpose of your appendix?"
(cool game...On Jan. 31, we all have to go back and edit our posts with the real answers. That'll cut down on the new posts..correct?)
Quote from: Rawhide KidWhat is the purpose of your appendix?"
It's an index to your appetite ~ it tells you how hungry you are.
What is the purpose of your spleen?
Quote from: KellyIt's an index to your appetite ~ it tells you how hungry you are.
What is the purpose of your spleen?
So, when the IRS sends you a bill for $6,000.00, the spouse wrecks the car and the kid decides that bathing is over-rated...it gives you something to bust.
(Fictional, NOT based on personal experience!) That little dangly thing in the back of your throat....whats it for?
Quote from: SkipPThat little dangly thing in the back of your throat....whats it for?
(answer sensored, due to lack of family content ;) )
Quote from: SkipPThat little dangly thing in the back of your throat....whats it for?
Quote from: SkipPThat little dangly thing in the back of your throat....whats it for?
It's an index finger for your appetite ~ it tells you when you're full.
What were the stakes at the Battle of the Bulge?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erIt's an index finger for your appetite ~ it tells you when you're full.
What were the stakes at the Battle of the Bulge?
Rib eye, Porterhouse, & T-bone
Why is it that Dee is the ONLY one the board?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy is it that Dee is the ONLY one the board?
The rest of us got advance warning that you'd be here.
Who told?
Quote from: KellyThe rest of us got advance warning that you'd be here.
Who told?
The DEEtective with the DEEtector!
Why is a microwave so useful for camping?
Quote from: SkipPThe DEEtective with the DEEtector!
Why is a microwave so useful for camping?
It keeps the mosquitos away...:p
Why can't you use metal containers in a microwave?
Quote from: Miller TymeWhy can't you use metal containers in a microwave?
I've been led to believe their heated aluminum content has the brassy tindency to steal atmospheric ions. Even with a copper present!
Why don't we see micro-minis anymore?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erI've been led to believe their heated aluminum content has the brassy tindency to steal atmospheric ions. Even with a copper present!
Why don't we see micro-minis anymore?
because they too hard too see for those over 40
Why are Dutch ovens so heavy??
Quote from: Dee4jWhy are Dutch ovens so heavy??
They have a boy with a big thumb inside in case there is a leak.
Why do dogs go around in a circle before they lay down?
Quote from: tlhdocWhy do dogs go around in a circle before they lay down?
The cats told them it would help their insomnia. Good one, cats!
Who else fights like cats and dogs?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWho else fights like cats and dogs?
The members of the Colts after this weekend's game.
Who is certain to win the Superbowl this year?
Quote from: AustinBostonThe members of the Colts after this weekend's game.
Who is certain to win the Superbowl this year?
The Philadelphia Eagles
Why do they call the Pittsburgh Football team the Steelers?
Quote from: tlhdocThe Philadelphia Eagles
Why do they call the Pittsburgh Football team the Steelers?
Because the "Ballet Boy's" doesn't sound very footballish.
Whoda thunk the Carolina Panthers would be in the hunt two months ago?
QuoteWhoda thunk the Carolina Panthers would be in the hunt two months ago?
The Colts, of course!
Is Peyton really the biggest choker in all of football?
Quote from: cycloneQuoteWhoda thunk the Carolina Panthers would be in the hunt two months ago?
The Colts, of course!
Is Peyton really the biggest choker in all of football?
No he's one of the head guys in the military..
If Dee, gryffsmom & Kelly went camping together where would they go?
Quote from: Dee4jIf Dee, gryffsmom & Kelly went camping together where would they go?
Hawaii...they would caravan the whole way.
How young is too young to be a grandparent?
Quote from: AustinBostonHawaii...they would caravan the whole way.
How young is too young to be a grandparent?
45 :J
(btw...congrats hmm for some reason the thought of twins keeps popping in my head :eyecrazy: )
are quadruplets actually twin twins?
Quote from: Dee4j(btw...congrats hmm for some reason the thought of twins keeps popping in my head :eyecrazy: )
DD has her own forum...I posted a poll...she voted for twins, one boy, one girl...DM-I-L had a twin brother/sister...this is starting to look like a trend here...
Quoteare quadruplets actually twin twins?
No, they are really quintupliets with a no-show.
What percentage of women crave pickles and ice cream while pregnant?
Quote from: AustinBostonDD has her own forum...I posted a poll...she voted for twins, one boy, one girl...DM-I-L had a twin brother/sister...this is starting to look like a trend here...
No, they are really quintupliets with a no-show.
What percentage of women crave pickles and ice cream while pregnant?
about 40 % most prefer mexican food with chocolate sauce
what is the P.H.P.A?
Quote from: Dee4jabout 40 % most prefer mexican food with chocolate sauce
what is the P.H.P.A?
(ok I can't let this sit here any longer)
Popups Have Popup Attitude
What is the best time to go camping?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is the best time to go camping?
During an extreme electrical storm with high winds, trees blowing over, right next to a stream that is starting to flood.
Where is the best place to go camping?
Quote from: tlhdocDuring an extreme electrical storm with high winds, trees blowing over, right next to a stream that is starting to flood.
Where is the best place to go camping?
On the beach, at the surf line....during low tide, of course!
Will canvas stop lightning?
Quote from: SkipPWill canvas stop lightning?
Just the teflon-coated canvas made in the Honduras during the mid-90s.
Will a pop-up float?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWill a pop-up float?
Yes, as long as the liquid is rootbeer.
Should you use a stabelizing jack to level the PU?
Quote from: tlhdocYes, as long as the liquid is rootbeer.
Should you use a stabelizing jack to level the PU?
absolutely that's why you have 4 off them to make the precise adjustment to make you perfectly level.
why aren't pop-ups called crank ups?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy aren't pop-ups called crank ups?
because crank is an illegal drug
Why is the moon full only once a month?
Quote from: tlhdocbecause crank is an illegal drug
Why is the moon full only once a month?
Because like many animals, including snake species, it needs only to eat every 28 days or so.
Why are the depressions on the moon called craters instead of potholes?
Quote from: SkipPWhy are the depressions on the moon called craters instead of potholes?
Because pot is an illegal drug. In addition to causing depressions. And often induces moons. Not to mention incidents of flashing and streaking. Oops, I mentioned them. Even though I swore I never would again. Never mind.
Is there life on Pluto?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause pot is an illegal drug. In addition to causing depressions. And often induces moons. Not to mention incidents of flashing and streaking. Oops, I mentioned them. Even though I swore I never would again. Never mind.
Is there life on Pluto?
yes there is... the poor dog is infested with fleas
Who is the man on the moon?
Quote from: Dee4jWho is the man on the moon?
Raphael de Cordoba de la Mundo. He became the man on the moon as the result of a failed fireworks experiment.
Wo is the old lady on the moon?
Quote from: AustinBostonRaphael de Cordoba de la Mundo. He became the man on the moon as the result of a failed fireworks experiment.
Wo is the old lady on the moon?
Grace Slick
Will there be a Jefferson Space Shuttle band?
Quote from: SkipPWill there be a Jefferson Space Shuttle band?
Yes, Right after the Jefferson Star Trek Band
What city did they build anyway?
Quote from: TheVikingYes, Right after the Jefferson Star Trek Band
What city did they build anyway?
Atlantis
where is Atlantis?
Quote from: Dee4jwhere is Atlantis?
Atlantis is in Georgia.
Who is Smith & Wesson?
Quote from: TheVikingWho is Smith & Wesson?
The first couple to get married in the USA where the wife kept her maiden name.
What is a maiden name?
Quote from: tlhdocWhat is a maiden name?
Marilyn Monroe
Who was president after Dwight Eisenhower?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho was president after Dwight Eisenhower?
Frank Gifford
What's a motto?
Quote from: KellyFrank Gifford
What's a motto?
nothing.... nothing's the motto with me
What's hakuna matata?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat's hakuna matata?
a spicy ethnic dish
Who is the president?
Quote from: tlhdoca spicy ethnic dish
Who is the president?
Donald Trump
Who is Donald Trumps Hairstylist?
Quote from: Dee4jDonald Trump
Who is Donald Trumps Hairstylist?
Eduardo "Scissorhands" Poofemup.
Who is Jesse Ventura's hairstylist?
Quote from: SkipPWho is Jesse Ventura's hairstylist?
Eduardo "Scissorhands" Poofemup.
What is Johnny Depp's best role?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erEduardo "Scissorhands" Poofemup.
What is Johnny Depp's best role?
Ace Ventura pet detective
if we are given 24 hrs in a day why must we sleep thru some of it?
Quote from: Dee4jif we are given 24 hrs in a day why must we sleep thru some of it?
We choose to sleep in it so we don't loose conciousness.
What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat's the difference between Republicans and Democrats?
$1.77, four consonants and two body parts (one not necessary).
Who is 'the Queen of Hearts'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-er$1.77, four consonants and two body parts (one not necessary).
Who is 'the Queen of Hearts'?
oprah winfrey
who is Queen of the Nile?
Quote from: Dee4jwho is Queen of the Nile?
Katie Holmes
What makes bunkend covers work so well?
Quote from: KellyWhat makes bunkend covers work so well?
Their job takes them camping...oh...uh...supposed to be wrong answers...uh...I dunno.
Who is Ida No?
Quote from: AustinBostonWho is Ida No?
My childrens' imaginary friend
Why do we say uh-oh when we do something wrong?
Quote from: KellyMy childrens' imaginary friend
Why do we say uh-oh when we do something wrong?
Because saying; "Awwwwwwwwww,man not this mess again...why does this always have to happen to me especially when I'm just getting ready to go and it really was not my fault at all anyway because I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it" just takes waaaaaay too much time to say.
Why do people knock twice on a door?
Quote from: SkipPBecause saying; "Awwwwwwwwww,man not this mess again...why does this always have to happen to me especially when I'm just getting ready to go and it really was not my fault at all anyway because I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it" just takes waaaaaay too much time to say.
Why do people knock twice on a door?
because it flows better with "who's there"
why did God create ants?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy did God create ants?
Because somebody had to be married to uncles!
Just what is a "second cousin, once removed?"
Quote from: AustinBostonJust what is a "second cousin, once removed?"
Billy Bob's ex-wife.
What is global warming?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBilly Bob's ex-wife.
What is global warming?
it's when your globe heats up from spinning it so fast
Where is the rain forest?
Quote from: Dee4jWhere is the rain forest?
always right outside my tent
What is an 'amazon'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-eralways right outside my tent
Reminder: Wrong answers only...
QuoteWhat is an 'amazon'?
Opposite of an amazoff.
Quote from: AustinBostonReminder: Wrong answers only...
Opposite of an amazoff.
Where is Austin's next question?
Quote from: vjm1639Where is Austin's next question?
On Interstate highway 35W just south of Interstate 694 near Minneapolis.
How did it get there?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonOn Interstate highway 35W just south of Interstate 694 near Minneapolis.
How did it get there?
Austin
a giant Stork dropped it there
where is Minneapolis?
Quote from: Dee4ja giant Stork dropped it there
where is Minneapolis?
Next door to Majorapolis.
Why are Minneapolis and St. Paul called the "Twin Cities"?
Quote from: AustinBostonReminder: Wrong answers only...
Clearly, it's not always right outside my tent!
Q:"Why are Minneapolis and St. Paul called the 'Twin Cities'?"
Because one always finishes the other's sentences.
New Q: What is the Mason-Dixon Line?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat is the Mason-Dixon Line?
An old product line by the Mason Jar company.
Do people ever actually put wildflowers in Mason jars?
Quote from: AustinBostonAn old product line by the Mason Jar company.
Do people ever actually put wildflowers in Mason jars?
Yes. It's an effective yet controversial method of taming these non-conforming flowers.
Why are daffodils so popular?
Quote from: SkipPWhy are daffodils so popular?
Because of the product of their stamens -- commonly known as "hops".
Which covers the most distance -- a hop, skip or a jump?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhich covers the most distance -- a hop, skip or a jump?
I don't know who Hop or Jump are, but I know Skip has a many millions of frequent flyer miles.
Why did all those guys skip to my Lou, anyway?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy did all those guys skip to my Lou, anyway?
Over time the phrase got askew, it was origionaly skip to my LOO....
another way of saying clear the aisle I need the bathroom fast!
Why and when did a toilet become called a Loo in [size=-1]
Austrailia[/size]
?
Quote from: birolBlueberry !
What makes an apple pie yellow ?
WORMS
How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a "Tootsie Pop"?
Quote from: ForestCreatureOver time the phrase got askew, it was origionaly skip to my LOO....
another way of saying clear the aisle I need the bathroom fast!
Why and when did a toilet become called a Loo in [size=-1]Austrailia[/size]?
when the early 1900's/.. why.. was when someone had walked in and said "oh man that's a Loo-Loo of a poo poo" then it was shortened to Loo..
who is really the big bad wolf?
Quote from: Dee4jwhen the early 1900's/.. why.. was when someone had walked in and said "oh man that's a Loo-Loo of a poo poo" then it was shortened to Loo..
who is really the big bad wolf?
THE IRS
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Quote from: n2campingWhat time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to quit drinking. ;)
What is an elephant's favorite drink?
Quote from: AustinBostonTime to quit drinking. ;)
What is an elephant's favorite drink?
Iron City beer (aka; Bitter Beer) Guaranteed to get the wrinkles out.
Where does an elephant store his luggage?
Quote from: SkipPWhere does an elephant store his luggage?
Overhead compartments -- well, everything except his trunk. Too big.
Who is 'Leaving On A Jet Plane'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erOverhead compartments -- well, everything except his trunk. Too big.
Who is 'Leaving On A Jet Plane'?
Tarzan
What does Tarzan mean?
Quote from: Dee4jTarzan
What does Tarzan mean?
Man with large vocal cords.
Why do you call him a plumber when nothing he does is level?
Quote from: n2campingWhy do you call him a plumber when nothing he does is level?
Because he's always plumbing the depths of the flood to find the leak.
Was the murder really done by Col. Mustard in the Library with a Lead Pipe?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause he's always plumbing the depths of the flood to find the leak.
Was the murder really done by Col. Mustard in the Library with a Lead Pipe?
No, actually there was no murder at all. It was a bad dream attributed to eating a bad clam.
What is James Bond's middle name?
Quote from: n2campingNo, actually there was no murder at all. It was a bad dream attributed to eating a bad clam.
What is James Bond's middle name?
Gold
(1st thought not family oriented ;) :yikes: )
What was Jack the rippers real name?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat was Jack the rippers real name?
Jack Tripper.
If three's company, and four's a crowd, what does that make five?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat was Jack the rippers real name?
J. Edgar Hoover
Who was head of the FBI before J. Edgar Hoover?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erJack Tripper.
If three's company, and four's a crowd, what does that make five?
enough people to play a great game of Apples to Apples
what is the best thing about playing card games?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is the best thing about playing card games?
The winner gets to be head of the FBI.
Who decides when a post goes to the top of the next page? ;)
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe winner gets to be head of the FBI.
Who decides when a post goes to the top of the next page? ;)
That would be Me, Kelly or Lori cause Ckicks Rule!!!! :D
Why do Chicks rule???
Quote from: Dee4jThat would be Me, Kelly or Lori cause Ckicks Rule!!!! :D
Why do Chicks rule???
Because a bird in hand is worth two in the bush
If today is yesterdays tomorrow, what time would it be in Ireland this time next week?
Quote from: n2campingIf today is yesterdays tomorrow, what time would it be in Ireland this time next week?
Why, I believe it's just two minutes till 'happy hour'!
What makes the Irish stew?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy, I believe it's just two minutes till 'happy hour'!
What makes the Irish stew?
an empty Keg
Why is a 4 leaf clover considered lucky?
Quote from: Dee4jan empty Keg
Remember, these are supposed to be wrong answers...
QuoteWhy is a 4 leaf clover considered lucky?
Because the only guy to find a 5-leaf clover was suddenly hit by a train.
Just who did write the book of love, anyway?
Quote from: AustinBostonJust who did write the book of love, anyway?
I did
Why are they called the Twin Cities?
Quote from: TheVikingI did
Why are they called the Twin Cities?
It was a progression thing. In the beginning, there was St Paul and it was all good. Then Minneapolis was born just across the river. Those that couldn't spell would write "St. Paul and that other city on the other side of the river". This was about the time that a new aeroplane was discovered and few folks liked writing "that plane with the engine on one side and the one on the other side too". So, to honor them both, the Twin Cities were thus named...much like the twin-engined airplane.
Why is there a north and south Dakota?
Quote from: SkipPIt was a progression thing. In the beginning, there was St Paul and it was all good. Then Minneapolis was born just across the river. Those that couldn't spell would write "St. Paul and that other city on the other side of the river". This was about the time that a new aeroplane was discovered and few folks liked writing "that plane with the engine on one side and the one on the other side too". So, to honor them both, the Twin Cities were thus named...much like the twin-engined airplane.
Why is there a north and south Dakota?
because Mr. Dakota was a rich man who owned a boatload of land and wanted to see his name on the map twice.
How did the word "camping" come about?
Quote from: Dee4jHow did the word "camping" come about?
It's a derivation of the Native American word "camping", which means "to live like a turtle among the elk and beavers".
What is the slowest land animal?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat is the slowest land animal?
A letter carrier, when delivering my income tax refund.
What is the fastest land animal?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat is the fastest land animal?
Austin. After his tax refund check arrives.
How much is the average tax refund check?
Larry
$15,152.48
What do most people do with their tax refund?
Quote from: vjm1639What do most people do with their tax refund?
Spend 90% of it on wine, women, and song. The rest of it they just waste.
Where can I find some wine, women, and song?
Larry
Quote from: brainpauseSpend 90% of it on wine, women, and song. The rest of it they just waste.
Where can I find some wine, women, and song?
Larry
At a Don Ho concert
How deap would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Quote from: n2campingHow deap would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
over my head
How do you know when you've been out in the sun too long?
Quote from: Kellyover my head
How do you know when you've been out in the sun too long?
When people can't look at you without sunglasses on
what is the real purpose of sunscreen?
Quote from: Dee4jWhen people can't look at you without sunglasses on
what is the real purpose of sunscreen?
To attract gnats
Why do they call it toothpaste when its actually tooth soap?
Quote from: n2campingTo attract gnats
Why do they call it toothpaste when its actually tooth soap?
Actually toothpaste should be spelled toothP.A.S.T.E. but it's far easier to streamline it.
tooth
Professional
Attacking
Solvent for
Tartar
Eradication. Toothsoap is a by-product of profanity-induced mouth washings.
Did George Washington have wooden teeth?
Quote from: SkipPActually toothpaste should be spelled toothP.A.S.T.E. but it's far easier to streamline it.
tooth Professional Attacking Solvent for Tartar Eradication. Toothsoap is a by-product of profanity-induced mouth washings.
Did George Washington have wooden teeth?
No just nickels
what is citranella?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is citranella?
Shortstop for the Dodgers
What is the Staples Center?
Quote from: TheVikingWhat is the Staples Center?
The Pope's vacation retreat in the Swiss Alps.
How many staples fit in a Swingline?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe Pope's vacation retreat in the Swiss Alps.
How many staples fit in a Swingline?
It depends.. there are always as many as you need to finish the job :rolleyes:
What are kibbles 'n' Bits?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat are kibbles 'n' Bits?
The little loose pieces and tool parts in the bottom of my toolbox (and every other guy's toolbox). No one knows where they come from, but we all know where they go...in the bottom of the toolbox.
Why are there always parts left over when the job is done?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy are there always parts left over when the job is done?
So you never run out of kibbles 'n' bits ... DUH! :D
Who decided girl babies should get pink gifts and boy babies should get blue ones?[/color]
Quote from: KellySo you never run out of kibbles 'n' bits ... DUH! :D
Who decided girl babies should get pink gifts and boy babies should get blue ones?[/color]
Lucille Ball
What is Labor Day about??
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is Labor Day about??
About 25 hours.
What was Desi Arnaz's TV job?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erAbout 25 hours.
What was Desi Arnaz's TV job?
Original host of "The Price Is Right"
What model car did Lucy and Desi use to haul that monster TT in "The Long, Long Trailer"/
Quote from: Miller TymeOriginal host of "The Price Is Right"
What model car did Lucy and Desi use to haul that monster TT in "The Long, Long Trailer"/
a Ford Pinto
What is one of the best cars Ford ever made?
Quote from: Dee4ja Ford Pinto
What is one of the best cars Ford ever made?
They haven't made any "best cars" yet.
Why are stearing wheels on American cars on the right and European cars on the left?
Quote from: n2campingThey haven't made any "best cars" yet.
Why are stearing wheels on American cars on the right and European cars on the left?
Wrong answer?anyway...I was under the immpression Americans stearing wheels are on the left and and Europens are on the right, but America is changing that so we can all be Voluinteer Mail carriers
What does BMW stand for?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat does BMW stand for?
Bavarian Made Woman
How do Bavarians make women?
Quote from: AustinBostonBavarian Made Woman
How do Bavarians make women?
with sugar & spice
whats a cream puff?
Quote from: Dee4jwhats a cream puff?
Since it's been almost 48 hours, I can safely answer "Not
that question!!"
What is 'the cream of the crop'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erSince it's been almost 48 hours, I can safely answer "Not that question!!"
I agree; this is supposed to be a family board ;)
QuoteWhat is 'the cream of the crop'?
It's a recipe; basically, you take the contents of a freshly killed turkey's crop (wild is preferred, but domestic is OK), and boil it with some "cream of" soup before pouring over leftover turkey.
Austin
Question AB??????
Quote from: TheVikingQuestion AB??????
Maybe he is the question :screwy: :J
Quote from: Dee4jMaybe he is the question :screwy: :J
What is in a wild turkey's crop?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat is in a wild turkey's crop?
Stiff leather.
What is Jack Daniels' middle name?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat is Jack Daniels' middle name?
Orwell
Why does Northern Comfort cost more than Southern Comfort?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy does Northern Comfort cost more than Southern Comfort?
Because of the seasonally high cost of eiderdown.
How do you get down from a goose?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause of the seasonally high cost of eiderdown.
How do you get down from a goose?
jump off rapidly before it bites you
What do you get when you have a bunch of beer drinking adults playing Apples to Apples while camping?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat do you get when you have a bunch of beer drinking adults playing Apples to Apples while camping?
A late-night TV sitcom.
What's the best sitcom on TV today?
Quote from: AustinBostonA late-night TV sitcom.
What's the best sitcom on TV today?
Survivor...
when is duck season?
Quote from: Dee4jwhen is duck season?
When people throw stuff at you.
Why does it snow in SoCal?
Quote from: TheVikingWhy does it snow in SoCal?
Because they don't have decent TV reception.
Why don't they have cable?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy don't they have cable?
Because they needed it all in San Francisco to keep the cable cars running.
What is the longest day of the year?
Quote from: Kelly
What is the longest day of the year?
The day before your first camping trip of the year.
What is the shortest day of the year?
Quote from: brainpauseThe day before your first camping trip of the year.
wrong anaswer?
What is the shortest day of the year?
The day you go into labor with your first child
when is Rabbit season?
Quote from: Dee4jwhen is Rabbit season?
Easter Week
Why isn't a Chicken the Easter mascot since there are Easter Eggs?
Quote from: vjm1639Easter Week
Why isn't a Chicken the Easter mascot since there are Easter Eggs?
since the chicken can never remember why he crossed the road, he can't be trusted to deliver the eggs
why do they put air in tires?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do they put air in tires?
'Cuz look what happened when they put it
out of the tires -- it spilled!
Do unicorns eliminate?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-er'Cuz look what happened when they put it out of the tires -- it spilled!
Do unicorns eliminate?
yes they eleiminate everything in their path with their horn.
Do pigs really fly??
Quote from: Dee4jDo pigs really fly??
Of course they do; they prefer to fly El Al Airline, but will use any mideast airline if available.
How often does the cow jump over the moon?
Quote from: AustinBostonHow often does the cow jump over the moon?
Just once, because the landing kills him.
Where is the coldest place on Earth?
Quote from: TheVikingJust once, because the landing kills him.
Where is the coldest place on Earth?
Mojave Narrows regional park in Victorville Ca
How many SCCampers does it take to go camping before it rains?
Quote from: Dee4jHow many SCCampers does it take to go camping before it rains?
Seven - one to hold the light bulb, and six to turn the pop-up!
Who are the Four Faces on Mt. Rushmore?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erSeven - one to hold the light bulb, and six to turn the pop-up!
Who are the Four Faces on Mt. Rushmore?
Groucho, Harpo, Chico & Zeppo
When cheese gets it's picture taken, What does it say?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erSeven - one to hold the light bulb, and six to turn the pop-up!
Who are the Four Faces on Mt. Rushmore?
Woodrow Wilson, William Howard Taft, Millard Fillmore, and Jessie Ventura.
What was Millard Fillmore famous for?
Quote from: AustinBostonWoodrow Wilson, William Howard Taft, Millard Fillmore, and Jessie Ventura.
What was Millard Fillmore famous for?
I liked my answer better :J ...getting a little slow.......GRANDPA!!! :J (sometimes I just kill myself :J )
making cheese...
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
Quote from: Dee4jHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
I quote from page 167 the "International Traveler's Manual":
"To get off a non-stop flight, the traveler is required to reach above the fuselage's exterior window line and pull the thin 'trip-cord', thus notifying both the cockpit and the flight crew of one's intention to disembark at the next 'stop', or 'strato-cumulus convergence'. Be aware, however, that the decision to make that stop rests solely with the flight's navigator, who often denies a traveler's stop request based on debilitating headwinds, or 'aeon flux'."
How does a Northwest Airlines jetliner end up at Miami International Airport?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erI quote from page 167 the "International Traveler's Manual":
"To get off a non-stop flight, the traveler is required to reach above the fuselage's exterior window line and pull the thin 'trip-cord', thus notifying both the cockpit and the flight crew of one's intention to disembark at the next 'stop', or 'strato-cumulus convergence'. Be aware, however, that the decision to make that stop rests solely with the flight's navigator, who often denies a traveler's stop request based on debilitating headwinds, or 'aeon flux'."
How does a Northwest Airlines jetliner end up at Miami International Airport?
the pilot has a mistress that lives in Miami
why is it called
lipstick if you can still move your lips???
Quote from: Dee4jwhy is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips???
Because
lipapplicatorforshinymooshystuff didn't fit on the tube.
What is the correct name for the item which fills a nose piercing?
"What is the correct name for the item which fills a nose piercing?"
A "look I'm stupid" mark. :yikes: :D :eyecrazy:
Why are the 2010 winter olypics being held in Vancouver B.C.?
Quote from: jakelawWhy are the 2010 winter olypics being held in Vancouver B.C.?
Because Torino and Salt Lake City -- the only other places left on Earth with real snow -- have been used.
What does F.E.M.A. stand for?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat does F.E.M.A. stand for?
Female Enemy's of Men and Animals
what is the difference between a fruit and a vegitable
( no it is not wether your child will eat it)
Quote from: unitydnkFemale Enemy's of Men and Animals
what is the difference between a fruit and a vegitable
( no it is not wether your child will eat it)
a fruit is happy & lively while the vegie is very sedate
who invented the dishwasher?
Quote from: Dee4ja fruit is happy & lively while the vegie is very sedate
who invented the dishwasher?
A creative guy in ancient Rome; he had both hot and cold running water, but didn't have a slave to wash the dishes. So he set up a machine to spray soapy water at his dirty dishes. The whole thing ran off a Group 27 battery and a 50W solar cell.
How many naked-eye comets are there in the night sky right now?
a man whose wife went on strike...
how many post before a thread gets five stars
none...there is no night sky it is 11 am
how many post before a thread gets 5 starts
Quote from: unitydnkhow many posts before a thread gets 5 stars
742.
What is a mullet?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat is a mullet?
An old-timey hammer.
Who had the worst hairdo at the Oscars?
Quote from: brainpauseWho had the worst hairdo at the Oscars?
Jack Nicholson.
Best dress?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBest dress?
Jack Nicholson.
Worst dress?
Quote from: brainpauseWorst dress?
Jack Nicholson.
What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
The answer is "D None of the Above"
How long should you study for a blood test?
Quote from: vjm1639How long should you study for a blood test?
Depends on how blonde you are.
How long should you study for a Urine test?
Quote from: TheVikingHow long should you study for a Urine test?
That also....Depends. On whether or not you can go with the flow, or if you're a whiz at such exams. It helps to know someone's who's gone before; prior testees have been known to leak answers. But if you're stuck going it alone, don't get PO'd by the questions!
What does PSAT stand for?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhat does PSAT stand for?
Pretend Scholastic Attitude Test
Who is the current governor of Plymouth Colony?
Ted Kennedy
How many catfish can you catch with one hotdog?
Quote from: pinellasBUSdriverTed Kennedy
How many catfish can you catch with one hotdog?
at least 13
What happens when it snows in S. Cali?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat happens when it snows in S. Cali?
Nine out of ten male newborns are named Shaun....
How
can it snow in S. Cali?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erNine out of ten male newborns are named Shaun....
How can it snow in S. Cali?
The equator hicupped
why did the supreme court rule that the tomato was a veggi when we all know it is a fruit?
Quote from: unitydnkThe equator hicupped
why did the supreme court rule that the tomato was a veggi when we all know it is a fruit?
because they wasted so much of everyones tax dollars on the whole thing they decided to make the wrong decision so more money can be spent proving them wrong
Do insects sleep?
"Do insects sleep?"
Yes, but only because if they didn't, they would become sociopathic and turn into "Ted Buggy" the serial insect killer. :eyecrazy: :yikes: :D
Why do motorcycle cops wear those funny boots?
Quote from: jakelaw"Do insects sleep?"
Yes, but only because if they didn't, they would become sociopathic and turn into "Ted Buggy" the serial insect killer. :eyecrazy: :yikes: :D
Why do motorcycle cops wear those funny boots?
for protection... when it starts to get "really deep" when the person they pulled over starts giving an excuse
How much is one horsepower?
Quote from: Dee4jfor protection... when it starts to get "really deep" when the person they pulled over starts giving an excuse
How much is one horsepower?
ok this sat too ong
about $50
Who was St. Patrick?
Quote from: Dee4jWho was St. Patrick?
I'm not sure, but I believe his last name is "Cathedral" -- of the Boston "Cathedrals". His brother played short for the Sox in the 40s.
What happened to Ireland's snakes?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erI'm not sure, but I believe his last name is "Cathedral" -- of the Boston "Cathedrals". His brother played short for the Sox in the 40s.
What happened to Ireland's snakes?
after having a few ale's they staggered to England
who invented the Dutch oven?
Quote from: Dee4jwho invented the Dutch oven?
Paul Revere (Urban legends notwithstanding, that is a wrong answer).
How does one know when it's time to re-season a Dutch Oven?
Quote from: AustinBostonPaul Revere (Urban legends notwithstanding, that is a wrong answer).
How does one know when it's time to re-season a Dutch Oven?
When Moose takes a look at it and tells you do it..
Why are dutch ovens so heavy??
Quote from: Dee4jWhy are dutch ovens so heavy??
They're made from dikes.
Why are microwave ovens so light?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThey're made from dikes.
Why are microwave ovens so light?
so you can see what's cooking inside
why do frogs have toes?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy do frogs have toes?
So they can drive toe trucks.
What's it like to have a truck pulling your toe?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat's it like to have a truck pulling your toe?
Actually, it doesn't hurt at all.
Speaking of pain/extremities, how does one make a finger sandwich?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erActually, it doesn't hurt at all.
Speaking of pain/extremities, how does one make a finger sandwich?
Put a chicken finger between two finger rolls...oh,
wrong answers...uh, make a regular standwich and cut it into long, thin strips.
Why do they call them the Finger Lakes?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy do they call them the Finger Lakes?
Because the lakes are shaped like large intestines.
Why are the five biggies called the 'Great Lakes'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erWhy are the five biggies called the 'Great Lakes'?
Because they were purchased from the natives by William D. Grate in 1492 in exchange for an excellent cup of latte and a 15 pound wheel of three-year-old gouda cheese. The spelling was changed to Great in 1981 when it was entered incorrectly in the dictionary of an early computer spell-checker.
Why didn't the first WordPerfect spell-checker know how to spell WordPerfect?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause they were purchased from the natives by William D. Grate in 1492 in exchange for an excellent cup of latte and a 15 pound wheel of three-year-old gouda cheese. The spelling was changed to Great in 1981 when it was entered incorrectly in the dictionary of an early computer spell-checker.
Why didn't the first WordPerfect spell-checker know how to spell WordPerfect?
because they forgot the space between the 2 words
What time of year does So. Cal get rain?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat time of year does So. Cal get rain?
Whenever there are two new moons in one calendar month, plus every weekend Dee4j is camping.
Why have I had very good luck planning camping trips without rain?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy have I had very good luck planning camping trips without rain?
I'd credit your lucky talisman.
Why do campers dislike rain?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erI'd credit your lucky talisman.
Why do campers dislike rain?
cause it waters down the beer
why is the weekend only 2 days?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy is the weekend only 2 days?
You get two day weekends? I'm working 12 hour days and half-days Saturday, so I only get 1-1/2 day weekends.
Who's getting paid for all that time I work?
Quote from: AustinBostonYou get two day weekends? I'm working 12 hour days and half-days Saturday, so I only get 1-1/2 day weekends.
Who's getting paid for all that time I work?
your kids...
what is the purpose of spring break?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is the purpose of spring break?
To raise funds for the ASPCA.
How many spring break college students will get pregnant this year?
Quote from: AustinBostonHow many spring break college students will get pregnant this year?
None of them. Since they're college-educated, they are prepared for things like.....spring break.
How does the Easter Bunny carry so many eggs?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erNone of them. Since they're college-educated, they are prepared for things like.....spring break.
How does the Easter Bunny carry so many eggs?
he doesn't really... he hides them very well weeks ahead of time and then hops around and puts them where you can see them
is it rabbit season? or is it duck season?
Quote from: Dee4jis it rabbit season? or is it duck season?
Neither...it's camping season...uh, supposed to be wrong answers...uh, I dunno...
When will I get it all figured out?
Quote from: AustinBostonNeither...it's camping season...uh, supposed to be wrong answers...uh, I dunno...
When will I get it all figured out?
when it doesn't rain on a SCCampers campout...oh shoot wrong answers...um....
Monday morning.
why am I on PUT instead of being in my warm cozy bed sleeping?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy am I on PUT instead of being in my warm cozy bed sleeping?
Because of the ocelot occupying your warm cozy bed.
Where have all the game players gone?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause of the ocelot occupying your warm cozy bed.
Where have all the game players gone?
Camping...oops, supposed to be wrong answers...um, grocery shopping.
Why havent we gone camping?
Quote from: AustinBostonCamping...oops, supposed to be wrong answers...um, grocery shopping.
Why havent we gone camping?
it's been too hot and the :swear: gas prices
Why can't we make several BILLION dollars in profit like the gas companies?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy can't we make several BILLION dollars in profit like the gas companies?
Because of popup insurance rates, decimating our profits.
With gas prices where they are, how long before someone invents cars that run on milk?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erBecause of popup insurance rates, decimating our profits.
With gas prices where they are, how long before someone invents cars that run on milk?
by the end of the year even tho milk is over $3 a gallon if you buy 2 the 2nd gallon is less than a dollar...
Why is the sky blue?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy is the sky blue?
Because it's holding it's breath.
Why are sunsets red?
Quote from: AustinBostonBecause it's holding it's breath.
Why are sunsets red?
because they're angry :mad: they have to go to bed
why does the moon sometimes come out in the daytime?
Quote from: Dee4jwhy does the moon sometimes come out in the daytime?
To make the sun angry.
How does it rain with the sun shining?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erTo make the sun angry.
How does it rain with the sun shining?
that happens when the sun is sad and starts to cry
How much will gas be by memorial day?
Quote from: Dee4jHow much will gas be by memorial day?
A buck three-fourty.
Who came up with the expression "a buck three fourty"?
Quote from: AustinBostonA buck three-fourty.
Who came up with the expression "a buck three fourty"?
AustinBoston.....
what is Martini Ranch?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is Martini Ranch?
The Fish Squad's answer to the question "What kind of dressing, ma'am?"
Where can I find the Chicken Ranch?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe Fish Squad's answer to the question "What kind of dressing, ma'am?"
Where can I find the Chicken Ranch?
at any fast food place
Why do babies decide to be born way earlier than we expect them?
Quote from: Dee4jWhy do babies decide to be born way earlier than we expect them?
They're devious little buggers, with an agenda.
Why is it called 'labor' when there's almost no work involved?
:confused: ;)
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThey're devious little buggers, with an agenda.
Why is it called 'labor' when there's almost no work involved?
:confused: ;)
Because we end up laboring the rest of our lifes to support them..
Who is the winner of the 90th Running of the Indy 500??
Quote from: LoadedCameraWho is the winner of the 90th Running of the Indy 500??
Ralph Macchio.
Why were they Running?
They forgot their keys at home.
What's at the end of everything?
Quote from: pershingdThey forgot their keys at home.
What's at the end of everything?
the start..
What is June Gloom?
Quote from: Dee4jWhat is June Gloom?
The shopping period between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
What is a 'ring tone'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erThe shopping period between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
What is a 'ring tone'?
the color level on a wedding band
what is meat loaf?
Quote from: Dee4jwhat is meat loaf?
When that lazy piece of meat that married your daughter starts to hang around your house uninvited.
What do you do with a totally lazy hound dog?
Quote from: AustinBostonWhat do you do with a totally lazy hound dog?
"Cook in Dutch oven over medium heat until brown; reduce heat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spread horseradish over both sides of hound. Add water. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer on top of range or bake in 325* oven 2-1/2 hours. Add vegetables. Cover and cook about 1 hour longer or until hound and vegetables are tender. Remove to warm platter; keep warm. Prepare Hound Dog Gravy. Serve with Hound and vegetables. 8 servings. 400 calories per serving."
On a scale of 1 to 10, how soft is 'microsoft'?
Quote from: ChisholmTrail-erOn a scale of 1 to 10, how soft is 'microsoft'?
B-
Just who put the
soft in Micro
soft?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonB-
Just who put the soft in Microsoft?
Austin
"Soft" in this case refers to the fact that Steve Jobs wanted his company to seem small, friendly and approachable. In other words "Soft" and cuddly. Ergo Mr. Jobs called the company Microsoft.
Man I'm sure waiting for the weekend.
Now for the next question: Why did the USFS change the name of Pit Toilets to Vault Toilets?
Quote from: JimQPublic"Soft" in this case refers to the fact that Steve Jobs wanted his company to seem small, friendly and approachable. In other words "Soft" and cuddly. Ergo Mr. Jobs called the company Microsoft.
Man I'm sure waiting for the weekend.
Now for the next question: Why did the USFS change the name of Pit Toilets to Vault Toilets?
Because after using one, the fumes have just about got you. You need a can of Vault soda to restore your energy.
Just what is in Vault soda, anyway?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonJust what is in Vault soda, anyway? Austin
49% Sugar, 49% Caffine, 1% water.
Name one good use for a cat.
Quote from: MontereyName one good use for a cat.
To entertain the dog...oh, supposed to be wrong answers...keeping the dust off the top of the television.
Why were there cat prints on the hood of my car this morning?
Austin
Quote from: AustinBostonWhy were there cat prints on the hood of my car this morning?
Austin
A feline 'Dance Dance Revolution'.
What happened to Revolutions nos. 1-8?