RE: General coughing and rousing

[6Quigs]

 6Quigs
I m on my second beer,
 and still thinking.
 
 What a waste of two bloody beers!!

[gsm x2]

 6Quigs

As I m sitting here drinking my beer,
 I m thinking about the professor.
 
 If he had poured the beer in first,
 he still could have done the rocks, pebbles and sand thing!!
 
 Moral of the story
 have a beer first!!![][][]
 

 And in reality, it gets better than that.  If he FILLED the container with beer FIRST, he would have had to drink a lot of it to make room for the rocks.  Then he would have had to drink even more to make room for the pebbles.  Then a third round to make room for the sand.  And after the sand was added, he still would have been able to filter off the LAST TWO BEERS.
 
 So beer first and lots of it.
 
 gsm x(hic)2

[Surfcal]

 6Quigs
Well, why didn t he just throw the rocks, pebbles and sand away and just filled the darn thing with beer.  He could have drawn the concept on the chalkboard and had beer at the same time.  Hmmm?  That s the thinking man s way.
 
 Surfcal

[Ab Diver]

 6Quigs
I m thinking this professor wasn t so insightful after all. I mean, who d wanna ruin good beer with sand, rocks, and pebbles? I don t trust him. Definately NOT someone I d want playing with my kids.

[Surfcal]

 6Quigs
OK, OK (ala Joe Pasce)
 
 The Professor and the students could have met a bar and discussed the whole philosophical thing over beers.  That would have been the best way to reach his students.
 
 I figure these kids are over 21 years old.
 
 Surfcal

[Kelly]

 6Quigs
[font=" comic sans ms" ]speaking of beer ... mine s empty []
 
 More, please?  (said with my most winning and engaging smile [&:])[/font]

[Red neff Barchetta]

 6Quigs
Kelly -
 Quick!  Fill that mug up!  A good NNC er never see s the bottom of their beer mug.
 
 Maybe Bob & Doug McKenzie should be the official comedy team for NNC eh?;
 
 

Bob: Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there s nothing else to do.
 
 Doug: Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn t on this part!
 
 Bob: Oh, I guarantee ya, you d be on. ] Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we re gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
 
 Doug: Look out the window!
 
 Bob: Where?! Whadda ya doing?
 
 Doug: Snow, hosehead.
 
 Bob: Wha? Oh, it s the Great White North, and it s snowing, cause it s Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
 
 Doug: What?
 
 Bob: Here s a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
 
 Doug: Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
 
 Bob: Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
 
 Doug: Uh, the 25th.
 
 Bob: Right, and what s the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that s two. And then, what s after that?
 
 Doug: Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
 
 Bob: No. Get out.
 
 Doug: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
 
 Bob: That s three. Then what s after that? Nothing.
 
 Doug: New Year s.
 
 Bob: Four. And what s...
 
 Doug: New Year s Eve.
 
 Bob: Five. Where do you get twelve?
 
 Doug: Uh... There s two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that s four. That s nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days. (Music starts.)
 
 Bob: Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don t know what to get somebody for Christmas.
 
 Doug: There s lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don t get stuck.
 
 Bob: Okay.
 
 Doug: By the way, that s me on the organ.
 
 Bob: Aw, geez.
 
 Doug: You start.
 
 Bob: Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
 
 Doug: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
 
 Doug: Two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer. (Okay...)
 
 Doug: There should be more there, eh?
 
 Bob: Where? On the... go.
 
 Doug: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
 
 Bob: Three French toast,
 
 Doug: Two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer.
 
 Doug: In a tree. See, you need more.
 
 Bob: Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
 
 Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
 
 Bob: Three French toast,
 
 Doug: Two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer, what was it?
 
 Together: In a tree!
 
 Bob: Okay, on the sixth... go.
 
 Doug: Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
 
 Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
 
 Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
 
 Bob: Three French toast,
 
 Doug: Two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer,
 
 Together: In a tree!
 
 Bob: Okay.
 
 Doug: Okay.
 
 Bob: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
 
 Doug: (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing " nice gift" .)
 
 Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
 
 Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
 
 Bob: Three French toast,
 
 Doug: Two turtlenecks,
 
 Bob: And a beer, Together: In a tree!
 
 Bob: Right, I keep forgetting.
 
 Doug: Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it s too hard for us!
 
 Bob: Um...
 
 Doug: Go, hoser.
 
 Bob: Oh.
 
 Together: Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
 
 Doug: Eight comic books,
 
 Together w/BG singers (but unsynchronized): Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
 
 (Bob and Doug quit singing.)
 
 BG Singers: Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
 
 All: And a beer,
 
 Doug: On my tree!
 
 Bob: Yeah. That beer s empty. Okay. Day,
 
 BG Singers: Twelve!
 
 Bob: Uh, tweleve.
 
 Doug: Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
 
 BG Singers: Five golden touques!
 
 All: Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
 
 Bob: Beauty, eh?
 
 Doug: Where d you learn to do that?
 
 Bob: Uh, albums.
 
 Doug: Boy. So, like, that s our song, Merry Christmas...
 
 Bob: Merry Christmas!
 
 Doug: And good day!
 
 Bob: Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
 
 Doug: What?
 
 Bob: Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
 
 Doug: Okay, the song s over.
 
 Bob: But I want...
 
 Doug: Merry Christmas, everybody!
 
 Bob: Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
 
 Doug: So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
 
 Bob: You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
 
 Doug: Well, next Christmas, I ll get me a chainsaw...
 
 Bob: Take off!
 
 Doug: Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
 
 Bob: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
 
 Doug: Wha-? (and the music fades)
 
 

[otter]

 Red neff Barchetta

Maybe Bob & Doug McKenzie should be the official comedy team for NNC eh?;

 Should we feel the need for official NNc comedians we need look no further than the last 88 pages!  That is official enough and comedic enough for me.
 Do I hear a second?

[Ab Diver]

 6Quigs
Kelly (sorry if I didn t pronounce it right)---
 
 Crak-POP! (fizzz)  Gurgle, gurgle, goygle, goyle, drip, twip...  Here you are, my dear. Now remember, if any of this stuff starts to make sense, quickly have another beer!
 
 BTW: Good one, Jeff!

[otter]

 6Quigs
Me again:  Lost and Found (hopefully) question.
 
 At Snug Harbor my grandaughter lost her hooded red sweat shirt with Santa Rita written on it.  It is her school shirt.  
 Hope someone found it in their wash.  
 

[Ab Diver]

 otter

Do I hear a second?

 Otter, you can t *hear* a second... it a measure of time.
 
 Sheesh!.... Knot that Hour group Wood No the difference.[]

[otter]

 6Quigs

Otter, you can t *hear* a second... it a measure of time.

 Thank you for bringing that to my attention.  
 Can I see a second?  
 MY but we full of night owls tonight.  Wise ole ones, to boot.

[gsm x2]

 6Quigs

Can I see a second?

 Once again, " No, you cannot see a second again because it is a meaurement of time."   You could hear a horn blast for a second; you can see a watch measure off a second; you can feel someone pinch you for a second; you can both taste and smell food to see if you are hungry for seconds.  But none of your senses can in fact deal directly with time.
 
 BTW--I remember a story about a Captain in the Air Force who was one of the pioneers in the computer world....she was in fact the first person to discover a bug in a computer...litterally a moth had flown into one of the vacuum tubes and fouled things up.
 
 She would bring in a pieces of fishing line, I believe about 6 feet, and give them to her students to give them a concept of a nanosecond.  A nanosecond (ns or nsec) is one billionth (10-9) of a second and is a common measurement of read or write access time to random access memory.  Six feet is how far light will travel in a nanosecond.
 
 As a former teacher, I thought you might find that useful, but you still can t hear, see, touch, taste or smell a second, nor a nanosecond for that matter.
 
 Nanonano--Mork.
 
 gsm x2

[Surfcal]

 Ab Diver

 

ORIGINAL:  Ab Diver
 
 

Do I hear a second?

 Otter, you can t *hear* a second... it a measure of time.
 
 Sheesh!.... Knot that Hour group Wood No the difference.[]
 

 This reminds me of these three strings and they walk into a bar.  The three strings sit at the bar and the first one orders a drink. And the bartender throws him out of the bar saying, sorry, we don t serve drinks to strings in here.  The second one orders a drink and the same thing happens.
 
 The the third string, parched for a beer, then gets himself busily all tangled up and then at the conclusion of this dramatic cortorsion orders a drink.  Bartender looks at the third with trepidation and suspicion and then says, hey pal, are you a string?  The third one then replies, " No, I m a frayed knot!"
 
 Surfcal
 
 

[Surfcal]

 6Quigs
A three legged dog hobbles into a bar.  Bartender immediately informs him that dogs aren t allowed in the bar.
 
 The dog pleads to sit at a corner of the bar for just a couple of moments and the bartender pitifully allows the crippled dog to do that.
 
 After a few minutes, the bartender asks the dog to leave and the dog, looking around with great intent requests for a few more moments to look around.
 
 Obviuosly, the dog means business and the bartender breaks the tension and asks the dog the nature of his visit.  The dog looks deadly serious at the bartender and then says, " Mister, I am looking for the man who shot my paw."