I put a sign in my front yard, " Free Snow, Help Yourself" . I propped a snow shovel against it. So far no takers, but I am ever so hopeful that will change.
Rambling Wreck
RamblingWreckSo how much would you charge for shipping and handling? [:D]
RamblingWreckWhy do people not use flamethrowers to melt the snow ? Wide angle, it would melt tons of snow.
If the shovel disappears don t cry [:)]
RamblingWreckIf you find a taker send him/her down our way. ALthough if we get the rain this weekend we ll be looking for someone who wants runoff water free![:o]
RamblingWreckYa Know....
People need to see a value in something before it becomes interesting to them. In my line of thinking, if you charge for the snow you will get more takers. Maybe a buck or two per shovel full. And if you offer to shove it for them, why there is value there too.
[;)]
Dayton Dave
QuoteORIGINAL: Dayton Dave
Ya Know....
People need to see a value in something before it becomes interesting to them. In my line of thinking, if you charge for the snow you will get more takers. Maybe a buck or two per shovel full. And if you offer to shove it for them, why there is value there too.
[;)]
Might run the risk of starting a price war with Dave across the street. He has pretty much the same product. Do you think I might get more takers if I embelish the sign? What about 50% Off or Will Beat Any Price?[:D]
Rambling Wreck
RamblingWreck
QuoteAnd if you offer to shove it for them
ok dave, you know me, i`m a smart@#$ [:D] how could i pass THAT up ?[8D]
RamblingWreckWhat about offering some on E-bay? They say you can sell anything there!
Starryart
QuoteORIGINAL: Starryart
What about offering some on E-bay? They say you can sell anything there!
No they can t -- we re trying to sell our time-share and no one is looking at it.
Anyone want a time share in the Orlando area???
RamblingWreckThis is a great thread! I hope EVERYONE reads it--all this creativity might help winter pass a little more quickly.[:)]
Hey, Wreck--have you considered making a snowman to put next to the sign and advertising him as an " Orginal, Entirely Organic Sculpture" or even better, " A Unique Work of Ephemeral Art" ? See, if you did THAT, you could then offer the snow as a " do-it-yourself-snowman-kit" . Throw in a carrot and a few pieces of coal with each kit and you d have a nice little cottage industry going[;)]
NightOwl
QuoteORIGINAL: NightOwl
Hey, Wreck--have you considered making a snowman to put next to the sign and advertising him as an " Orginal, Entirely Organic Sculpture" or even better, " A Unique Work of Ephemeral Art" ? See, if you did THAT, you could then offer the snow as a " do-it-yourself-snowman-kit" . Throw in a carrot and a few pieces of coal with each kit and you d have a nice little cottage industry going[;)]
Yeah, then you could box it and ship it to your customers. Just don t forget to label the box with the *Three Scariest Words* in the English language: " Some Assembly Required!"
This thread is hilarious! I d post that old classic: " The Diary of a Snow Shoveler" , but it s too long. Do a search and it should come up. It fits right in with the theme of this thread.
NightOwl
QuoteORIGINAL: NightOwl
Hey, Wreck--have you considered making a snowman to put next to the sign and advertising him as an " Orginal, Entirely Organic Sculpture" or even better, " A Unique Work of Ephemeral Art" ? [;)]
I have given your suggestion a great deal of thought. I think you are on to something. There are a great number of snowmen in the neighborhood. In order to move my product quickly, I need to be different, create a market niche. How about some other type of snow sculpture? I remember seeing a pengiun in somebody s yard. The sculpturer had sprayed black food dye on it to give it that daper black & white tux look.
Any suggestions on what to sculpt?
Rambling Wreck
RamblingWreckWreck, museums offer a lot of neat and VERY interesting statues you might copy (a la ice carnival sculpture). Just two which come quickly to mind are " The Venus De Milo" and Miichaelangel s " David" . They would certainly attract a lot of attention--especially if done in living color. [8D][:)] (MUCH MORE THAN PENGUINS I guaroneteee! )
(Be careful, though--if your city fathers arent pretty open-minded, such art could also get you free room and board at the local jail.) [;)]
(And then there are also the complications offered by " the goosepimple factor." [:o])
RamblingWreckI like ALL of these ideas, too. Maybe I ll start a " quiet riot" in my neighborhood, seeing as we got got 8" of snow last night [: (]
Come ooooooonnnnnnnn spring.....................................................
RamblingWreck
QuoteNo they can t -- we re trying to sell our time-share and no one is looking at it.
Anyone want a time share in the Orlando area???
Sorry, they can, and have... someone beat you to it on e-bay... :-)
http://cgi.aol.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2912747283&category=1469
And this one has some time left on it.. a " sample set of 5!!"
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2160950682&category=208
PS.. read the disclaimer ** no gurantees snow wont melt during shipping, but you will still have whats left of it.
RamblingWreckWe got an ingenious Tom Sawyer mentality right here on PopUp Times! Time for me to go out and whitewash my popup...
NightOwl
QuoteORIGINAL: NightOwl
Wreck, museums offer a lot of neat and VERY interesting statues you might copy (a la ice carnival sculpture). Just two which come quickly to mind are " The Venus De Milo" and Miichaelangel s " David" . They would certainly attract a lot of attention--especially if done in living color. [8D][:)] (MUCH MORE THAN PENGUINS I guaroneteee! )
(Be careful, though--if your city fathers arent pretty open-minded, such art could also get you free room and board at the local jail.) [;)]
(And then there are also the complications offered by " the goosepimple factor." [:o])
Those statues are famous because they were created by talented people. Artistic talent is not my bag. What I need is to attract talented people to come to my place a scuplt. Some sort of contest?
Need some creatative ideas for prizes that won t cost me any money. Perhaps a photo of winning scuplture on the cover of " Popup Times" ? After all, what starving artist doesn t need a little publicity to get their career going? Contest rules must stipulate that you take your scuplture with you.
Rambling Wreck
RamblingWreckNow let s put the brakes on for a minute. As soon as you start selling the snow, (whether it is in the form of raw snow, a snowman, a forgery of some famous sculpture, or no longer solid snow) it becomes a consumer product. As such, consumer product safety and liability laws may apply.
I would suggest consulting with a product liability lawyer before marketing your excess snow. If not, someone will claim they were injured (or a loved one was killed) because you knowingly sold them defective or dangerous snow. Just imagine the claims...
" I didn t know his snow was cold, and I got frostbite! He should have told me!"
" My house burned down becasue a fire started when I put his snow in the toaster."
" The snow partly melted in the driveway, and I was injured on the slippery ice that resulted."
At the very least, the lawyer will be able to help you draw up instructions on the safe handling and use of snow, and of the possible risks and hazards of abusing or misusing snow.
Personally, I would not sell snow to an eskimo without a lawyer.
Austin
PS...you probably need to draw up and ship MSDS sheets to go with your snow.
AustinBoston[:D]Hey Austin,
Do you know what they call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!
Rambling Wreck
AustinBoston
QuoteORIGINAL: AustinBoston
Now let s put the brakes on for a minute. As soon as you start selling the snow, (whether it is in the form of raw snow, a snowman, a forgery of some famous sculpture, or no longer solid snow) it becomes a consumer product. As such, consumer product safety and liability laws may apply.
I would suggest consulting with a product liability lawyer before marketing your excess snow. If not, someone will claim they were injured (or a loved one was killed) because you knowingly sold them defective or dangerous snow. Just imagine the claims...
" I didn t know his snow was cold, and I got frostbite! He should have told me!"
" My house burned down becasue a fire started when I put his snow in the toaster."
" The snow partly melted in the driveway, and I was injured on the slippery ice that resulted."
At the very least, the lawyer will be able to help you draw up instructions on the safe handling and use of snow, and of the possible risks and hazards of abusing or misusing snow.
Personally, I would not sell snow to an eskimo without a lawyer.
Austin
PS...you probably need to draw up and ship MSDS sheets to go with your snow.
I bet none of the members here will EVER let their kids have a sidewalk lemonade stand after reading what Tom wrote about the dangers of selling snow.[&:] geeze, I can see it now: " my kid fractured his tonsil on a lemon seed in your product--we re suing for 10 million "
RamblingWreckHow are they doing for snow out in the Rocky Mountain states this year? If Colorado is running a little short, please tell the Coors beer company they can replish their stockat my place. Snow shovel is already on the front lawn, they only need to provide their own labor and trucks.
Rambling Wreck
RamblingWreckLet s toast to our good friend Ramblin Wreck
He looked at his yard and said " What The heck,
There s way too much snow
It really must go!
IT S FOR SALE BY THE BUSHEL OR PECK!"
RamblingWreckDear Iditarod Race Organizers,
I just got the bad news that you have had to re-route this year s race twice due to lack of snow. Have I got a deal for you! We have an over abundance of snow here in the northeast. In my front yard, you will find a snow shovel. All you need to do is provide your own labor and transport. You can have all my snow free of charge.
Luckily for you, the Coors Bear company recently refused a similar offer and my product is still available. Their decision to decline is still a mystery to me, I was even willing to repurchase the product at retail in their 12 oz. aluminum cans.
As the start date for your race is drawing near, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
RamblingWreckDear RamblingWreck,
At the close of the route planning meeting this evening, one of the assistants brought your offer to our attention. After twice re-routing the race and considering the possibility of insufficient snow in the near future, we discussed the possibility of making a third and final change to the route.
Rather than having the race along the Western portion of North America, we have decided to measure the distance which would have been traveled from start to finish. This would provide the planners with the required kilometers which would have to be traveled by each contestant and their dog teams. However, we must have a response to some questions prior to the official notification of the acceptance of your offer.
1. Is your front yard sufficiently large enough to support the construction of an oval track or would we need to utilize both side yards and the back yard as well?
2. Do you have adequate depth of snow cover to maintain a solid base for the duration of the race?
3. Is there sufficient room for tents, campfires, sleds, dogs, race officials, media and spectators without interferring with the race?
4. Will the cleanup of waste deposits from the dogs be regulated or can it be left for the spring thaw as fertilizer?
5. Will there be sufficient bathroom facilities at your house or should we plan for alternate bushes and temporary trees for those attending the race?
6. Will you be willing to provide the water, power and sound systems for the race duration?
7. Do you have more than one shovel for the construction of the race oval or should we plan for a bulldozer backup?
8. How wide is your street? (We will have 14 satellite broadcast trucks covering the race from beginning to end.)
9. Do you rise early to start your day? (We begin racing preparation at 4:30 A.M. which will last between 3 and 4 weeks and pre-race must be made at this time to insure that all contestants get the same information at the same time.)
10. Now the final question.... Do you want to remove your offer, take down your sign and put your shovel away?
Thanks you for your response.
The Iditarod Planning Committee
RamblingWreckMy only question-
Is Coors willing to sponsor?[:(]
Sincerely,
A lifetime Miller drinker.[;)]
RamblingWreckWe ve had some good stuff at PUT through the years but I dont think I have EVER read anything funnier or cleverer or better put-together than the above post from Cavman. I have not only read it now about three times (laughing more each time) but have shared this thread with four non-camping friends who are intelligent and informed enough to truly appreciate this gift of humor begun so well by RW and continued so marvelously by Cavman and some of the others!![:)][:)][:)]
cavmanDear Iditarod Planning Comittee,
I must say we spent a sleepless night. You might think we were kept awake thinking of the huge profit potential of moving your race eastward. After all, 25% of this country s population lives in the corridor between Washington DC and Boston, MA. We could bring them the race live in real time!
The technology to do so is already right here. Our Starcraft dealer s lot, Redman s Trailer Sales, in Bristol,CT is practically on top of the ESPN facility and all its satallite dishes. The other details you inquired about can all be worked out. This is a small community which would welcome the income your race would bring.
Others might assume that our sleep was disrupted as a result of our joy of having purchased a new Centennial 3600 at Redman s yesterday. I must admit we are are extremely excited.
However, the real reason no one slept is our German Shorthaired Pointer, Ginger. It seems she has come in season about two months earlier than expected. She is vocally expressing her desire to procreate to all those dogs up wind of her pheromone signals.
Unless the organizers can develop a plan which will ensure Ginger s chastity, I m afraid we will have to decline your generous offer. Keep in mind she is most determined.
Sincerely,
RamblingWreckWreck, you are a KEEPER, too!! WHAT A THREAD![:)][8D][:D]
I understand your grave concerns about Ginger s morals (abstinance being on the rise at last in our fair land![;)]) However, there may be an opportunity for profit here which you are misssing in your desire to act as Ginger s " duenna"
If she could produce a good-sized litter of Husky-mix puppies, you might be able then to assemble your own home-grown Iditarod team and compete successfully in the race. I am sure Dave would find it very attractive to sponsor the team and have the PUT logo spread worldwide amongst sports enthusiasts.
And perhaps with some well-chosen modifications, and carefully placed runners, you could enter the Centennial as your vehicle of choice. You would SURELY win if you did that--just a quick stop and there are all the comforts of home just behind the last dog on the team. I think you are on to something here!
RamblingWreckWe ve finally rid ouselves of the snow in front of our apartment. Used the sign idea, but changed the wording to: " Due to a shortage in our supply lines, please limit youself to only 4 shovelfuls of our snow" . Caused a feeding frenzy & the stuff went faster than a vegetable leaving my mouth. [:o][;)][&:]
RamblingWreckDear Mr. Rwreck,
Since the time is running short and Spring is near at hand, we have considered your response of passing the race off to your Starcraft dealer in Bristol, CT. This effectively removes the snow, sign and shovel originally offered by you to the Iditarod racers at your local residence. Since there was no charge for the snow or use of the shovel, consideration of re-location for the race was a viable alternative. Now with the re-location, unexpected charges will require the committee to revert to the original race date and secondary routing.
However, for your information and in consideration of the concern you expressed for Gingers chastity; the committee was going to present the following remedies:
1. Re-locate your Starcraft Centennial 3600 to a neighboring state for the duration of the race for her comfort and temporary residence.
2. Rent Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin movies/DVDs for entertainment.
3. Down feed the ?Animal Planet? channel on cable for re-runs of the Westminster Dog Show and Emergency Vets.
4. Have the temporary re-location be sponsored by Pedigree Pet Foods to provide a proper diet with a variety of flavors.
5. In order for Ginger to be properly and expertly cared for during this absence, a personal trainer would accompany the trip for exercise, personal care and medical assistance (if needed).
Understanding your attachment to Ginger, and as an alternative to the separation from the family, a semi-truck load of diapers and a boxcar load ?Frebreeze? would have been a small price for a guaranteed race location with sufficient snow.
The Committee would like to express their thanks for your original offer but consider the re-location to Bristol unacceptable and will remain on the Western coast of North America.
Sincerely
The Iditarod Planning Committee
RamblingWreckJust thought I would drop this in :
http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/03/03/iditarod.start/index.html
birolBirol,
Way to go. I m glad to see that all the planning of the committee paid off with the relocation and delayed start. Good thing we didn t re-locate to RamblinWreck s. We wouldn t have had time.
Thanks for the news clip.
RamblingWreckYou guys are really cracking me up!! This thread is just too funny!!
I m laughing too hard to think of a response that would be witty enough to fit with this thread.....
I ve had a horribly long day at work and with babysitting and needed a good laugh. Posts like this remind me why I enjoy being here so much.
Thanks guys[;)][:D]
cavmanDear Iditarod Planning Committee,
I understand with spring just around the corner how important it is for you to get your race under way. The logisitics of moving the race eastward on such short notice made such a move impractical. Regretfully, I was unaware of the snow shortage you were experiencing in Alaksa or I would have contacted you sooner.
Our bounty just never seems to end. We received another blessed 7" of snow yesterday. This morning the temperature was -6 degrees F. Your mushers would have felt right at home.
The television weatherman was boasting that it was a record low for this date right before I flushed the remove control down the toilet. I ll endeavor to keep a closer watch of the Alaskan climatic conditions for future races, though it will not be by television. Perhaps we can be of service to one another in the future.
In the interim, should you encounter anyone else who has been inconvenienced by a lack of snow I would appreciate you referring them to me. We still have plenty.
Sincerely,
RamblingWreck[font=" comic sans ms" ]Dear Mr. Wreck ~
While we are anticipating 3 to 6-inches of snow overnight here in Minnesota ~ it is a pittance when compared to snowfall in previous years. We are currently about 20" behind our average.
While the addition of some of your extra snow would certainly make my yard closer to average, the childrens school schedules do not allow for Road Trips in the winter months. I am anxiously awaiting more snow ~ unfortunately, I find no feasible way to take some of yours. (Unless, of course, you are willing to make an exception and deliver the white stuff yourself.)
I must thank you for your kind and generous offer.....Perhaps we can do business in the future.
~Snowless in Minnesota[/font]
KellyDear Kelly,
Thank you for your interest in our product. It just so happens that I have pick up truck bed loaded and ready to go. My truck was parked in my employer s parking lot Thursday during our most recent weather event.
I am still a little dazed from the fall I took in their parking lot Thursday. The snow had covered an ice patch that I had the misfortune to trod across. I landed on my tailbone then fell backward and hit my head. Needless to say the fall did nothing to improve the condition of my already aching back not to mention my head or the parking lot.
Fortunately, I was not rendered unconscious. Otherwise, I fear that the snow would have covered me and the snowplow would have deposited my corpse in the mountainous snow banks that now surround said parking lot. The way things are going, it would have been several months before my remains would have been discovered
In my dazed condition I was prepared to make a delivery to you. My dear wife then pointed out that in a technical sense that the load of snow belongs to our mutual employer. Who, unlike us, is not known for their generous and magnanimous nature. Their price would no doubt be steep for the product not to mention the delivery charge. That it would be in our family?s best interest for me to park the truck in a sunny spot in the offending parking lot so that said product could be returned to our employer. The last thing we need is for myself to be accused of employee theft.
As she continued to apply cold compresses to my head her logic began to become crystal clear, though her face was still a little fuzzy. I then came to the realization that delivering that particular load would not help the problem in our yard in the least.
To our deep regret, it doesn?t look like we are going to be able to reach a mutually acceptable solution. Please keep us in mind if your availability to travel change.
Should you know of anyone else in a similar predicament to yourself who can avail them selves of our self-service offer please inform of the availability of our product. Referrals are always welcome.
Sincerely,
RamblingWreckTo: Rambling Wreck s Solid Water Delivery Service
From: Desert Dry Enterprises, Inc.
Dear Sir,
It has come to our attention of your desire to expand your business beyond it s current boundaries. We, in an effort to also expand our corporate activities, are researching possible business partners with which we may collaborate. We have discovered a growing niche market, served by the seemingly innocuous " County Fair Snow-Cone Stand" . As California has many separate Counties, each with it s own County Fair, and each Fair is occupied by numerous Snow Cone Stands, the potential for profits of a *substantial* nature should be readily obvious.
Decisive action in needed at your earliest possible convenience to assure prime location for our stands. Specific issues such as pedestrian traffic must be studied, and ad-hock committees formed. Our staff of trained experts has developed a plan for bypassing all normal transportation routes, and is currently lobbying Congress to secure the Federal Rights necessary to construct a pipeline reaching from your front yard to the western slopes of the Sierra Mountains. If you will agree to foot the construction costs of the aforementioned pipeline to a location reaching not less than 5 miles from our state capitol of Sacramento, we will agree to build the rest of the pipeline. Details such as oil-fired liquification plants at your end to render your product suitable for travel through our pipeline, and using existing hydro-electric facilities to power refrigeration plants at our end to re-crystallize your product, can be worked out as soon as pipeline construction has commenced.
We anticipate that your product will become the main ingredient in what will surely be known as the world s best tasting snow cones.
Awaiting your timely reply, we remain:
Desert Dry- " The World s Lightest Snow Cones"
Ab DiverDear Desert Dry Enterprises, Inc,
Thank you, for your interest in our product. Your suggestion regarding a pipeline has our elected assembly in Washington DC scrambling. Even with our national budget deficit they are searching to find public funds for the project.
The water lobby from the western states is a very influential group. A chain of events has already begun. I have been in touch with the chief of staff for our Congressman, Bob Simmons. With the current economic down turn this type of public works project is just what the country needs. Before they are finished, Boston?s Big Dig will look like small potatoes.
We also want to compliment you on your ability to think out of the box. We have always envisioned ours an all natural lawn care product. Your proposed application of manufacturing the ?World?s lightest snow cones? and the ?World?s best tasting snow cones? using our product has us a little concerned about California fads.
If I may explain, we have two German Shorthaired Pointers, Ginger and Henry. Our lawn is where they relieve themselves. Which brings to mind the lyrics from Frank Zappa?s Album the ?Apostrophe?. Though it has been some years since I last listened to them I seem to remember tidbits:
?Watch out where the huskies go?
?The lethal yellow snow crystals?
?The deadly doggy do cones?
Perhaps you should dispatch several trucks to our place to collect raw material to manufacture a small lot. You could try these at test markets at several of the county fairs you mentioned. For professional reasons, we would very much appreciate advance notice of the time and location of the aforementioned tests.
Sincerely,
RamblingWreckI think that there is a future for your location concerning the Iditarod. And in my esteem another source of profit potential, excluding sponsorships and other endorsements, and also tying in the Summer Time Lemonade Stand as being a permanent fixture on your facility, is a year round operation. Certainly we are all familiar with these Lemonade stands and the children that operate them... sir, I am no child but I have a vision... a perpetual stand of refreshment... Not only quenching thirsts during the hot months with the vital necter known as lemonade, but also satisfying the extreme race fans during the circuit with Husky SnowCones... colored to resemble urine. With Lemonade, of course.
Slogan: You CAN Eat The Snow Where the Huskies Go!
And there is my proposal... 12 months a year. Lemonade refreshing in the summer and extreme Husky Snowcones in the winter.
I will be at the CG Academy, New London in July and would love to discuss the details of such an operation.
Sincerely,
Mr. Hjelo Snough
RamblingWreckWhat you need to put on that sign is DON" T TAKE THE SNOW.UNDER PENALY OF THE LAW. Then everyone will take some. They think they are getting away with something that way.
BedBugsRob,
Sheer marketing genius! The University of Connecticut is just around the corner in Storrs, CT. They are known as the UCONN Huskies. How could I miss? (Famous last words)
RamblingWreckI along with my neighbors would be very interested in your product when it returns to its former state. It has been a very dry winter in the Chicagoland area and snow melt off would be very much appriciated as my lawn is thursty. I would think your product would be much easier to ship in its liquid state then the current form. On the other hand you might just want to store some of your product for the late summer season when your product is scarce in its liquid state. Let me know what you think.
Signed,
A little dry in Chicagoland
RamblingWreck.....ahhhhhhh yes, it s the American way. Disclosures, lawsuits and they will find a way to put a tax on this product in no time.