A little catch up for those that don t know. Our youngest one, the 11 month old, is not our child by birth. She is the child of a family member that was taken because of in-utero drug exposure, and we are raising her. We have had her since she was two months old, and she was a preemie. We had some rough going in the start, but now she is a happy healthy little girl.
She has a new baby sister as of today. She was born this morning, and although she is three weeks early she appears to be healthy and pretty good sized. We are now waiting to see if she was also exposed to drugs, and what will happen from there.
We are probably crazy, but have decided to raise this little one too if she is taken by the state. We just cannot turn this baby away, after accepting one. We also believe it will make it easier on both girls as they grow up knowing they are blood siblings etc. I would imagine there is some comfort in having someone else in the house that has the same situation as yours. We of course love the first as our own, as do the children, because now, she is our own. Doesn t matter who gave birth to her, she is our baby, just like the two I gave birth to. I have no idea how we are going to pack another baby into this house, but if we have made the right decision, then I m sure a higher power will help us carry it through. [8D]
startxYou are doing such a good thing by taking the new sister home. It is rare that people do sacrifices like this, this is a life time commitment and will help those two girls tremendously.
I congratulate you on your new baby and wish you and your family health wealth and lots of fun filled days. God bless both of you.
Birol
startxCongrads to the both of you. My DW is also adopted, so I know how important it is that you are able to adopt a child who needs a proper home.
startxBrian and Barbera-
You post stirs such strong emotions in me. Joy, happiness, gratitude...
Your actions show the very best we can be. The love you give to these children will change their lives in so very many good ways they can t be counted. I salute your courage, character, strength, and inner beauty. It s not going to be easy, but the end result will be more rewarding than you can possibly imagine at this time. Congratulations on a new baby girl!
Thanks for making my day.
startxChildren born under the specter of that drug use have a very hard time, and these two are so lucky that they have you in their lives to help them along when things go hard, and to shower them with love and most of all to give them that sense of self worth they need. I have the utmost respect for you and your family, and am proud to be able to say that I know you.
BTW, I am an adoptee that had to go searching at the age of 45 to find a sister and a brother that I was separated from in infancy. It really is important to have those connections, to know that someone out there shares biological connections with you.
T
[;)]
startxOh, Barb,like you, we all realize that the mere act of giving birth doth not a mother make. Motherhood is a matter of the heart and THAT IS THAT no matter whose body a child springs from! You are truly a mother to this little girl and I know you will be to her sister, too. It is often said, where there is love in a home, there is always room for one more. Bless you for uplifting all of us with your open-heart.
startxStartx, I just want to say, " Thank you " to you and your husband for having such wonderful, open hearts. A lot of people out there will not even consider adoption or foster care, and it s thier loss. I think your a great Mom, and I ll pray that God will give you the strength and patience you will need. [;)]
startxThere is always room for another member of the family! You are very wonderful people, and obviously have more than enough room where it really is needed - in your hearts. The rest will work itself out.
Congratulations!
startxWow....
Brooke, Joan, Ethan & Gannon
2000 Astro
1999 Jayco Eagle UDK12
startx
QuoteORIGINAL: startx
I have no idea how we are going to pack another baby into this house, but if we have made the right decision, then I m sure a higher power will help us carry it through. [8D]
[font=" comic sans ms" ]I m sure, too.
Whippetwrun is right ~ there is always room for one more. And you will get lots of help from that higher power and from all your friends and relatives. Blessings to all of you and enjoy that new little one!
And you know what else? They are all yours ~ they became that the moment you claimed them as part of your family...[/font]
startxThanks everyone for your well wishes, it was a tough decision. We feel heavily burdened to make sure we don t ask for too many sacrifices from the children we already have. We want them to be happy another little sister has come to live with us, not feel burdened by the sacrifices we will all make. Everyone knows how expensive a baby can be, at least this time though, we already have the gear, I didn t get rid of anything since I knew the birth mom was pregnant again.
I really needed people to tell me we were probably doing the right thing. I don t know if I can t see how hard taking the first one was on us or not, but some of our friends and my mom didn t think we should take another. Not because we aren t good parents, but because they thought we were taking on too much. I think we can handle it though, lots of people have four or five kids, and they seem relatively sane!
startxquote]lots of people have four or five kids, and they seem relatively sane! [/quote]
May you stay sane throughout the years with the family. The joys of parenthood often outweigh the troubled times.
Material sacrifices may have to be made but the joyous gains will always be there.
My best to you and yours.
startxI wish you all the best.
startxGod bless....He will provide....strength, courage, all those things you and your family need!
startxBarbara,
I m sure you will make the decision that is right for your family, not what everyone else says. I grew up in a family with 5 kids, and we re all relitivly sane and so are my parents. My mom actually says that 5 was easier then 3. I m very close to my family and would love to have a large family myself, we ll see. DH says 2. I ve " talked" several families on line who have babies that we re drug addicted at birth and most of them say that by school age they have caught up to their peers in most areas.
Congratulations
Beth
startxBarbara,
I am glad to hear that you may get the second child also. We have three adopted girls and the second and third are from the same birthmother. We could not afford the third one also, but we have made it for two years so I guess we can make it for more years to come.
All I can say, is follow what you feel is right. God will bless you either way. We were told because the third was biracial not to get her because people would always tease her and it might make it hard on the other two. We said that as long as she had love and support at home, hopefully it would help her through the bad.
Well guess what, the ones that were so against it spoil her the most. She is a very loving child and they eat it up. So just goes to show that what others think is not right for your family, may be the best thing to happen to your family. It is totally up to you.
God Bless you and your family[:)]
startxBarbara your sense of family and love is inspiring. How lucky for these children to be a part of your lives and how lucky for you to have the priviledge of these beautiful gifts.
startx
QuoteI think we can handle it though, lots of people have four or five kids, and they seem relatively sane!
Well, we re on our way to #4 and I think we re pretty sane - MOST of the time. I do have my moments though!! [;)]
startxBrian and Barbara-
The world needs more parents like you[:)]
In our case, TJ and Tiffany are now living with us because of a similiar situation. Linda s daughter was having problems, and Linda has had TJ since he was 2(now 8) and Tiffany since she was 6 months old(now 6). They can be a handful at times(TJ has ADHD), but they have come to call Linda " mom" and me " dad" (even though we aren t married-yet).[;)] Linda s daughter has shown no indication of taking them back, and at one time we had all four of her children, until Linda started having medical problems.
Again, God bless you and good luck![8D]
startxI think you are doing the right thing. It the new baby turns out to also be born under the same situation as her sister, it would be so sad for them to be raised apart. My granddaughter has a half-sister; her dad (my daughter is not married to him) fathered another child. My daughter and the other baby s mother talked about it and have decided the girls should know each other and spend time together. While there is no way for them to live together, at least they will have involement during their lives which is important.
And we know that God will somehow provide and you will make ends meet and I hope God continues to give you unending joy from all your children.
startxWell, right now the baby is with her birth parents. We are monitoring the situation, to see if she will be well cared for etc, but last reports were the family was doing well, and that the house was clean, mother looked " clean" , and baby was doing quite well. Perhaps she will finally make the decision to do the right thing for this new little one.
startxSometimes the heart knows best!
Awesome!
startxBarb -
From one who tried everything I knew to get my son s sibling (the birth mother decided to keep him) I applaud you for what you are doing for THEIR peace of mind and offering to them your unselfish love to keep them together. You and your husband are truly worthy of all of God s Blessings and I have no doubt that He will provide.
startxWell, one would almost think this is Austin s dead thread dredging, but I really do have an update.
We were contacted by the state last week. They ve been looking for the baby since the first week in March. Why on earth they only now contacted us I have no idea. At any rate, we know where the baby is, and gave all the information we had regarding her current conditions. Let s just say it isn t good, the baby was seen being fed liquor by the parents, by a reputable source, and she also tested positive for drugs at birth, but the hospital took their sweet time involving the state. The state says we can take the baby from them immediately no waiting for a home study etc this time, if they take her from the parents. The baby just came back in state from a visit with the grandmother, and now I am waiting to see what the state is going to do, since they have to go and visit.
We may be adding another baby to our family after all. Here s hoping that is the outcome, because her current situation is not one that a baby should have to be raised in. She has no routine, no structure, a different person takes care of her every couple of days as they shuffle her from mother, to aunt, to grandmother etc. She never knows who will be there when she wakes up, or what house she will be in etc. I venture to say she has probably not had opportunities to develop motor skills etc, much less that necessary bond with a primary caregiver.
startxI pray all things will go well. My DD s are adopted also, and it is truly a blessing even when they are driving me NUTS[:D]
startxI hope everything goes well with you and the baby. We are involved with a friends of DD s who is in a foster home and being thrown around by CHildren s Aid Society, they can be so ignorant sometimes, it is amazing .....
startx
QuoteORIGINAL: startx
Well, one would almost think this is Austin s dead thread dredging, but I really do have an update.
We were contacted by the state last week. They ve been looking for the baby since the first week in March. Why on earth they only now contacted us I have no idea. At any rate, we know where the baby is, and gave all the information we had regarding her current conditions. Let s just say it isn t good, the baby was seen being fed liquor by the parents, by a reputable source, and she also tested positive for drugs at birth, but the hospital took their sweet time involving the state. The state says we can take the baby from them immediately no waiting for a home study etc this time, if they take her from the parents. The baby just came back in state from a visit with the grandmother, and now I am waiting to see what the state is going to do, since they have to go and visit.
We may be adding another baby to our family after all. Here s hoping that is the outcome, because her current situation is not one that a baby should have to be raised in. She has no routine, no structure, a different person takes care of her every couple of days as they shuffle her from mother, to aunt, to grandmother etc. She never knows who will be there when she wakes up, or what house she will be in etc. I venture to say she has probably not had opportunities to develop motor skills etc, much less that necessary bond with a primary caregiver.
Got the baby ? Any news ? I hope she is doing ok ......
We were thinking about adopting/fostering one child, but her behaviour is going down the hill so fast, it is scary [>:][>:][>:]
startxHi Barbara,
We too are a family created by the glorious gift of adoption, although it was neither a short nor an easy road for us. My heart goes out to you in this time of uncertainty and in concern for this baby girl. I work in the adoption field and have some seen some dreadful situations with birthmoms, so I don t know why it continues to amaze me how people can neglect and abuse a precious little defenseless baby, but it does. And it breaks my heart. I will keep her and you in my prayers.
PS please keep us posted on how you and she are doing!
startxNo updates, investigation still ongoing, and she has sent the baby out of state until things settle down in our state, thinking to prevent the inevitable. Amazing to me that the state doesn t persue this more aggressively, but they have so many cases that it s tough. I wait for news all the time it is in the back of my mind. It s hard on us too, we never know when we may have to drop everything and go get her, and wonder if our plans will be changed etc. It s not like plans change for one day because we need to pick her up, it sets off a whole chain of events if that happens, all of which require some flexibility on our part of course.
I ll keep you guys updated as best I can, but the waiting and not knowing is really hard.