...[link=http://community.webshots.com/album/29853792eCEYLJUaES]but can t[/link] [:D]
griffsmom1. Bite me
2. F**k off
3. WHATEVER!
4. I m smarter than you, so shut up and listen
5. Get over yourself!
and my number one...
I M TAKING A PAID SICK DAY TO GO CAMPING AND YOU CANT STOP ME!
griffsmomJemJen,
Yikes, girl! We may need to get you a new job![:o]
(click on the words " but can t" in my original post)
griffsmomDear Employees:
It has been brought to management s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of " TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I m certain that isn t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f***ing way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You ve got to be s***ting me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a s***.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I wasn t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It s not my f***ing problem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: That s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f***?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This s*** won t work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the he!! didn t you tell me sooner?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: He s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He s got his head up his a$$.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat s*** and die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: So you weren t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a$$.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F*** it, I m on salary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I don t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a$$.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the he!! died and made you boss?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Bite me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: He s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He s a pr*ck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: She s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She s a ball-busting b*tch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don t know what the f*** you re doing.
Thank You, Human Resources
I hope that wasn t too offensive, but I ve used some of the more appropriate terms and knowing what I really mean gives me a good chuckle inside!
campingboatersNatacha- Now THAT was funny. I can picture a " Dilbert" cartoon to go with every one of those.[:)][:D][;)]
Ab Diver
QuoteORIGINAL: Ab Diver
Natacha- Now THAT was funny. I can picture a " Dilbert" cartoon to go with every one of those.[:)][:D][;)]
[font=" comic sans ms" ]A " Dilbert" cartoon?? NO WAY!!!
I can picture a co-worker to go with every one!! [&:][/font]
griffsmomThe one I d MOST LIKE to say is:
" I just won Powerball, I m retiring and going campin FULL TIME!"
griffsmom" I am sorry this job didn t meet your expectations. Don t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."
gsm x2
griffsmom" I QUIT!"
Austin
griffsmomI always want to say " You are so full of it" .
I never said it but, most of the times my tone and looks says it, and Istill wonder why I am never liked at work (when I work that is).
griffsmom
QuoteI QUIT!"
Austin
Actually I have said this in my " job" Lee wasn t amused![;)]
griffsmom[highjack mode on/]For AB Driver and everyone else, spend sometime here: http://www.dilbert.com/ and go through a few of the daily lists. Time well spent, especially if your cow-orkers are like most.
One year we copied all the Dilbert cartoons that Scott Adams did on " interns/coops" and gave them to each new intern we got from local colleges just so they d know their place in the company. [;)][:D]
PS: Comedy Central channel is runnig old & new Dilbert programs latenight.
Also be sure to join the Dogbert revolution. Cow-orkers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your pointy haired bosses!
[highjack mode off/]
griffsmomI Quit I Quit I Quit I Quit
griffsmomI am retireing.
I couldn t say that for 29 years.[:)]
(Effective June 18)
griffsmomHere s a quarter,call some one who gives a sh*t[:@]
GeneF
QuoteORIGINAL: GeneF
I am retireing.
I couldn t say that for 29 years.[:)]
(Effective June 18)
Gene
I think the loss will be the students!
Enjoy the retirement.
griffsmomCan t remember who said it, but it goes something like this:
" Profanity is nothing more than a little mind trying to express itself forcefully."
Hmmmmm.
griffsmomActually I can t think of one thing I want to say at my job, or other jobs that I have had that I haven t said. Which might explain why I have been fired from some jobs! [:o] [:D]
griffsmomYou know it felt so go to finally be able to say what I wanted at work. The day I quit my job in Stockton was GREAT, without being rude was able to say take this Job and ....
Instant stress relief.
griffsmomAsk DW.. Being a Computer Consultant for over 17 years of my life, I learned to pretty much say what I wanted. If someone was an idiot, I told them. That is the reason that I didnt work at the same place twice.
Now, I am a responsible permenant employee of a Large Scale Bank and have refined my attitude toward the people.. NOT!!!!!!!!!
I still can t keep my mouth shut and have always felt that if a person is a moron, they should be told because they don t know...
I have no problem telling someone that " NO!" or " Not in this lifetime" when they come to me on a Friday afternoon at 4pm asking me to start working on an 8 hour system outage..
Actually, I m a Work-A-Holic and spend about 60-80 hours a week either in the office or logged in. I work hard and am very good at what I do. There are some people that are not as good and they need to know that so they can work on improving themselves.
Leave it to be said, I don t get asked out to lunch very often!!!! Oh well, I don t eat with the animals at home, why should I do it in the Office!
griffsmomHaa Haa.. funny sweatheart.. No don t make me fire you [:D]
When I quit my last job (of 11 years) I got a major kick out of playing a daily played song at the lunch hour on the radio station. " Johnny Cash, Take this job and shove it" The painter was in on it and we had a blast cranking that song... (He works with me now at my new job [:)]
griffsmom" Talk to some one who cares. I m retired." Not yet, but getting close[;)].
Firefyter-EmtMy job is staying home with my two kids. Although I haven t said this yet, I m saving it for a later time. (Not that I haven t wanted to say it, the kids are still a tad too young![:@]) A good friend of mine s mother used to say this to her and her siblings, and I ve put it in my back pocket for later...
" Today, I ve changed my name to " sh*t" . And you re not allowed to say " sh*t" !"
Never thought the word " mama" would drive me so crazy![&:]
Buffi (otherwise known as, " mama. mama. MAMAAAAA. MAWWWWMAAAHHH!!!)
griffsmomOMG natacha...that was really good.
Firefyter-EmtBuffi,
I see ya ll had your maiden voyage! Loved the pics! Willard and I are going to Lake Catherine in Arkansas in the Quachita Mountains in May for our Anniversary. You MUST tell me about your trip to Arkansas when we see eachother this weekend! Bring pics if you have them. [8D]
By the way....how d the first time in the pop up go? Fun? Are you addicted yet? [:D]
Firefyter-EmtWell...don t know cause I m not really known for my tact and diplomocy. I ve pretty well said anything I ve wanted it to say at work. When I was at Lucent..after your first year..they give you this pen. Well...my OAM (the supervisors supervisor) gave me my pen and says " you know what this means?" , I said " yes...don t have to put up with anyone s (crap) anymore" . And I didn t. The thing with that job was you better be able to take it as well as dish it out. This new job...u re at the whim of the dispatchers so...I bite my tongue a lot more..but the word " dumbazz" comes to mind a lot.
griffsmom
QuoteThe one I d MOST LIKE to say is:
" I just won Powerball, I m retiring and going campin FULL TIME!"
Camping full time? I ll be camping on beaches in Hawaii, the Ritz Carlton hotel, on my private LearJet, Pebble Beach golf course and the local Ferrari dealership. Maybe I ll buy a new popup. Right after I buy that ski chalet outside of Geneva in the Alps!
Firefyter-Emt
QuoteORIGINAL: Firefyter-Emt
" Johnny Cash, Take this job and shove it"
[font=" Times New Roman" ]
Now, the late Johnny Paycheck is probably spinning in his grave thinking about all those daily royalty checks lost...
I d have to say that a lot of workplace stress is relieved when one has a job in which the customer is not always right.... [/font][:D]