The North has Bloomingdales, The South has Dollar General.
The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.
North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.
The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into
a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do
not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's is
plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or
big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay
out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Quote from: Tim5055FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into
a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.
Ain't that the truth! Sometimes, they range pretty far to find someone to help. The only time we've ended up in a ditch was not in the south, not even in the U.S., but in Prince Edward Island, Canada. But who helped us out? Some old guy with a Big'Ol pickup with
Texas plates. Yep, he had chains and had us out of there in no time!
QuoteAND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
My granddaughter was born in North Carolina. She's six months old. I've already explained to her that she's still a Northern Girl, even if she was born in a Naval hospital in North Carolina. :D
Austin
Y'all better be nice to us Texas boys. ;)
I kind of always thought Texas was a separate issue - neither North nor South. You know, that old "Lone Star" stuff.
-Speak
You forgot "fixin".
"Fixin" is not repairing something, it's gettin' ready to do something.
I'm fixin to head out for my campin' trip!
Quote from: SpeakEasyI kind of always thought Texas was a separate issue - neither North nor South. You know, that old "Lone Star" stuff.
-Speak
They were on "Their Side" in the war for Confederate Independence. :)
Austin
see below
Quote from: cruiserpopred neck ain't latitude, it's attitude!
Southern: Bubba
Northern: Swamp Yankee
Besides the accent and grits thing, ain't much different.
IF you ain't been in town at least three generations, and you and your daddy can't talk about the same 6the grade teacher you both had 30 years apart, you're an outsider.
If you ain't dirt poor, got at least three rusted out cars in the yard (rich folks might have a bus) in addition to the tractor, you'r a city boy.
If you didn't make a few dollars on the side trappin in high school, you was rich.
If the highlight of the week wasn't the church social, you was from out of town. (caveat, up North, the Catholics run a few variations, bingo, casino night, penny sale. And they serve booze). If not the Church, than the Legion or Fire hall dance.
If you didn't spend at least one Summer day Fishin with your momma or daddy, you were just deprived.
This, from a transplanted swamp yankee living in Virginia. We can have a spirited debate about which side won in 1865, but I think the south won the war. Why else would so many swamp yankees want to head down
to "reb country" perminantly?
p.s the north has "johnny cake" instead of conbread. The grits thing we just don't get. Example; a self proclaimed memphis-style barbicue place in backwoods new hampshire. the Southern breakfast, 2 eggs any style, grits, and Boston baked beans-and we do not eat beans for breakfast.
I am mostly definately a Yankee ... and I love grits. Drowned in butter with salt and pepper.
But what I think most (if not all) Southerners are deprived of is a good ole' dose of sweetened tree sap called Maple Syrup. And NOPE, the karo syrup thing is not the same :)
DH went to college in South Carolina. One of his high school friends went to the same school and stayed in SC. The locals still call him a yankee. He doesn't have the accent right. To me he sounds southern.
Tim thanks for posting this.:D
Quote from: AustinBostonThey were on "Their Side" in the war for Confederate Independence. :)
Austin
Just for the record... many Southerners still refer to that war as the 'War of Northern Aggression'
I've lived in the south 17 years and counting. I will tell you. You must embrace not only the dialect, but also, the way of life to be one of them. You have to take the time to know them and why they talk the way they do and why they eat what they eat.
Mostly it is about poverty, family, and pride. All of which are good in moderation. I laugh at the rusted out old car sitting in the front yard too. I've learned that the car belongs to them title clear and, guess what, most of the time the land it is sitting on does too. Both of which have been in the family for longer than you or I have ever lived in one place. They can tell you stories about that car from the day their grandaddy bought it right up till the last time it ran.
Most of these people can trace their ancestors all the way back to the revolutionary war and never leave the cemetary by the church where they were baptized and, where they will be buried right along with the family.
There is something to be said for that. Not sure what but, something. The south is a wonderful place full of stories and great weather. All of this and so much more make it the best place to camp.
When I first moved to Tennessee (about 25 years ago) I worked with a guy who was a transplant from Chicago. He'd been here for about 30 years at that time. This wise man told me "you'll do just fine if you act like a Southerner, talk like a Southerner, but continue to think like a Northerner." :p
Quote from: McCampersI've lived in the south 17 years and counting. I will tell you. You must embrace not only the dialect, but also, the way of life to be one of them. You have to take the time to know them and why they talk the way they do and why they eat what they eat.
Mostly it is about poverty, family, and pride. All of which are good in moderation. I laugh at the rusted out old car sitting in the front yard too. I've learned that the car belongs to them title clear and, guess what, most of the time the land it is sitting on does too. Both of which have been in the family for longer than you or I have ever lived in one place. They can tell you stories about that car from the day their grandaddy bought it right up till the last time it ran.
Most of these people can trace their ancestors all the way back to the revolutionary war and never leave the cemetary by the church where they were baptized and, where they will be buried right along with the family.
There is something to be said for that. Not sure what but, something. The south is a wonderful place full of stories and great weather. All of this and so much more make it the best place to camp.
Did I ever mention..................
I HATE BUGS
Quote from: waveryDid I ever mention..................
I HATE BUGS
AMEN.
My dad and I were talking over the weekend and a few things were brought up.
You can go any where in the USA and almost everyone will know what the Texas flag looks like. Now take another flag from another state and do the same thing...hardly anyone will know what other states flags are.
Also, poeople in Texas love to own land. You go to big cities and a lot of people pride themselves on their condo or their house built 20 feet (at most) next to the house on either side of them. Us Texans love to be spread out and have the land to call out own.
My house sits on 3 acres and the other houses in my neighborhood all sit on 1 acre. I've had friends from up north who have visited me and are just amazed at the size of my yard.
Quote from: bpikeI've had friends from up north who have visited me and are just amazed at the size of my yard.
I've had the same thing...friends visit from up north (i.e. neighbors) and they are just amazed at the size of my yard.
But a big part of those huge lot sizes in Texas is the value of land. When it's not worth much (or when you bought it a long time ago), you can own a lot.
My one acre in suburban Twin Cities is worth over 100K; I have interest in property in Massachusetts (equivalent to 1/4 acre) that should be worth at least twice that. That piece of land is what is left of what was once a 1500 acre farm that was purchased about 1832 for less than $800.
Austin
Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're a redneck when......
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench .
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5 th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Label Me Red!!! :w
#13
#15
#20
Yee Haw :-() :! :#
My favorite is #12.
My all time favorite is
You might be a redneck if you've ever gone to a family reunion to pick up chicks.
I've done too much genealogy. One "branch" of the family tree definitely does not fork...and they're all Massachusetts Yankees! :yikes:
Austin
Quote from: McCampersI've lived in the south 17 years and counting. I will tell you. You must embrace not only the dialect, but also, the way of life to be one of them. You have to take the time to know them and why they talk the way they do and why they eat what they eat.
Mostly it is about poverty, family, and pride. All of which are good in moderation. I laugh at the rusted out old car sitting in the front yard too. I've learned that the car belongs to them title clear and, guess what, most of the time the land it is sitting on does too. Both of which have been in the family for longer than you or I have ever lived in one place. They can tell you stories about that car from the day their grandaddy bought it right up till the last time it ran.
Most of these people can trace their ancestors all the way back to the revolutionary war and never leave the cemetary by the church where they were baptized and, where they will be buried right along with the family.
There is something to be said for that. Not sure what but, something. The south is a wonderful place full of stories and great weather. All of this and so much more make it the best place to camp.
Man, I watched Deliverance on cable last month, and I could swear I heard banjos playing as I read that! ;)
.
Quote from: bpike....
My house sits on 3 acres and the other houses in my neighborhood all sit on 1 acre. I've had friends from up north who have visited me and are just amazed at the size of my yard.
The exact same thing happend to me when I purchased my first house in Long Beach! The entire lot measured 50' x 50' with an 810 sq.ft. house! What a bargain!! :D
.
This is on the same street but has a lot TWICE as BIG!!.
You people- especially from the LEFT coast sure like to make fun of southern people and the way we think. I just cant figure out why you keep moving here. It used to be nice to live here but lately I have been thinking about moving north. I figure it has to be just about emptied out up there judging by all the yankees that have moved in around me.
By the way there are rednecks in every state. Just listen to a Country Boy Can Survive....(Hank Williams Jr.)
Never been north of Georgia and proud of it!!!
Quote from: dcampbell1969You forgot "fixin".
"Fixin" is not repairing something, it's gettin' ready to do something.
I'm fixin to head out for my campin' trip!
or "Fixin to git redy"...
Sheri Clarice go get my gun...hang on ya'll, I got something to show ya. oopps....be back shortly, the CB is saying somebody's in a ditch....guess they was going to the store causin it was predicting snow....catch ya'll later...(smile)
Wavery, you forgot one.
You know you're a redneck when your kids shirt sizes are 5-10-5.
Also, having some Kentucky roots, and I use the term roots with tongue in cheek, we don't have a family tree...it's more like a vine - grows in one direction only.
But that 300 acres in that beautiful Kentucky horse land keeps callin me to move!
Quote from: SPXTraderWavery, you forgot one.
You know you're a redneck when your kids shirt sizes are 5-10-5.
Also, having some Kentucky roots, and I use the term roots with tongue in cheek, we don't have a family tree...it's more like a vine - grows in one direction only.
But that 300 acres in that beautiful Kentucky horse land keeps callin me to move!
Family originally from Eastern Kentucky. Not really a family tree...more like a family broomstick.
Quote from: Nemesis56Family originally from Eastern Kentucky. Not really a family tree...more like a family broomstick.
Ah, so does that make me a southerner? I've got so many cousins hitchin' up wit cousins in the family "tree" to make yer head spin...oh, and now that both our parents are gone, we've recon'd that Phil is only a half-brother. Nobody knows who his father really is...
Austin