Holiday Stress

[B-flat]

Now is a good time to think about "Holiday Stress" and how you are going to handle it. Many people have difficulties with family in arranging celebrations, shopping problems, what to giv eto whom, how much to spend, waiting in long lines, lots of traffic, planning time off, meal planning,  and many other problems.    I would like to say that planning ahead has relieved me of a great deal of Holiday Stress.  If I go out to stores at the least crowded times, then I get done shopping quicker and no crowds and no waiting.  I also ask other family members their schedule well in advance of any gatherings.  The best thing is to go with the flow and not get bent out of shape over little things.  Just enjoy doing the things you do and be happy.
 
Please pass along anything you would like to say about how you deal with Holiday Stress.

[Miller Tyme]

As far as shopping during the holidays, we normally wait until after 8:00 P.M. or so, when the crowds thin out. Most stores start restocking about that time, so many items are again available.

[NightOwl]

As far as shopping during the holidays, we normally wait until after 8:00 P.M. or so, when the crowds thin out. Most stores start restocking about that time, so many items are again available.

Jim, your reply is TOO WONDERFUL!  Spoken like a TRUE male of the species.  (We need a BIG giggling icon for something like this.)

[luvourjayco]

I used to stress out soooo bad and finally came to hate the holidays.
We finally sat down and let each family member decide what was the most important to them and pared down the list. Once we finally realized that no one really cared about the 25 kinds of cookies so we now skip the cookies or I make some on a slow day... but, we spend the whole day putting together our gingerbread village out of gingerbread that I have purchase to save time and allow me to participate fully with dd#2 (this was her choice and when it got dropped the last stressed out year she was heartbroken). To dd#1 a real tree is the most important so yesterday we spent the afternoon as a family and went to a local place, selected and cut down our own! For DH its family dinner so I cook and we have the family over both after church Christmas Eve and again for dinner Christmas Day. My favourite is the Christmas Eve service at our church so I offer to be active during the service.

All time now is family I do shop but so much less. We spend more time thinking of others and as a family we put the feelers out in our church and school and find a struggling family to help out. This family gets a gift package from us without ever knowing who sent it. We get so much back by giving so little!

Family time is soo important and giving back means so much to us as a family that by changing a few things and deciding what we could do without the holidays have become enjoyable again!!

[wiininkwe]

Boy, I can relate to this!!   We had several things (all little things, but added together, wow!) that seemed to cause problems around holiday time.   The first one was the tree.  It got to the point where the kids referred to the trip to pick out the tree as "Mom and Dad divorce time."   We could nevre agree on anything to do with it, or where to put it in the living room.   Getting it into the stand, decorated and keeping kids and animals from knocking it down were taking a toll on us.  We finally came to a solution.   Since, no matter who liked what tree, the final decision was always mine anyway, I now go out and pick out the tree, have to guy there load it into my van.   I get home and DH gets it out, puts it into the stand and brings it into the house (while I do something, somewhere I can't watch or add comments)  Then he goes into another place while I position the tree, only coming out if I need it tied to a hook in the ceiling or something like that.  (I have a tendency to pick out what we call the 'Charlie Brown" trees, usually won't stand up straight.)   Once that's taken care of, I have the Grandkids over to decorate it.   No more fights.
 
The next big stress was that we always had to have the big dinner, but the kids were too excited to eat or sit still, they cried, and we yelled.   Now that the kids are grown with kids, we don't do Christmas day, we do Christmas Eve, so they have a chance to set their own traditions for Christmas Day.   We don't do the big meal, I make sloppy joe or something similiar in the crockpot, and everyone brings one thing to go with it.   We set it out buffet style,(with paper plates plastic ware and plastic cups that can be thrown out with the wrapping papers)  and we don't sweat it if the kids don't want to eat, their parents can feed them later when they go home.  

The important thing is not what we eat, or how the tree looks, it's that we are all there together, and being relaxed and able to laugh and enjoy the time together makes it special.
T

[topcat7736]

I'm getting stressed thinking about not getting the 25 types of cookies and a big meal. Who said these things aren't important?? :confused:

[B-flat]

Hey, I like doing the cookies and the big meal. That keeps me from having a lot of stress. Everyone stays out of the way while I'm cooking and they know to be there right at serving time and we all have a grand time together.
 
 
As for gifts, we tried doing the name drawing type thing every Thanksgiving but it didn't work for us when some couldn't come on Christmas Eve. Then, we tried doing the Chinese gift exchange where each person who wanted to participate brought a wrapped gift and each was numbered. They would then draw a number and the person with #1 would get to select the first gift, then #2, #3 and so on until everyone had a gift. Whoever got a gift they didn't want, could choose from the gifts others had already opened and exchange. There would be some really unique gifts and some real fun in making those exchanges. It was interesting what some people wanted and others didn't want.
 
After trying several different ways of doing the gifts, we finally decided to just do gifts for the little kids and not worry so much about the adults. We would just have a big meal. It's fun and interesting to see how others do things and maybe we will even get some new ideas that will make the Holidays a little easier for everyone...reduce the stress.

[Camperroo]

I don't stress.  My motto is life is just to short.  I do things my way and in my own time, if others don't like it, tough luck!!  When I shop, my DH and I or the kids get up and head out around 9:30 am when the mall opens, and have fun shopping.  I never go out in the middle of the day when everyone else is driving around for a 1/2 hr trying to find a parking space and having a coronary in the meantime or cutting of some little old lady to get the space ahead of her.  It's so silly.  We prepare a list with the persons name on it and what we are going to get them or set a limit on what we spend on that person...this way money isn't racing out of the wallet.  As an example, I told my daughter she could spend $15.00 on her friend.  She proceeded to pick up a cute little pocketbook which was on sale and then filled it with candy - it all came within her budget.  She of course saw this cute little calendar that she wanted to get her also but that was another $10 so I point out to her that her $15 budget now shot up to $25...she'd have to babysit 5 hours to earn that money.  When she put it in relation to money equals earning it, she got the point really quick...even though at this point we paid for her friends gifts, we just wanted her to understand what it takes to actually pay for it.  After that she was very good about staying in her limit and shopping smartly and well.  She picked up very cute gifts for her friends within the set limit and was really excited when she came in under. We also taught her not to buy something automatically just because it's there.  In a mall there's always another store that will sell it cheaper, which she learned when shopping for DVDs and CDs.  One store wanted almost 10 more than the other for the same DVD movie.  

As for cooking, I plan out our main meal and desserts.  A little something for everyone, but I don't go overboard.  The kids are given specific chores for helping get ready such as dusting, vacuuming, tidying up.  As for family, everyone is welcome they can make the choice to come or not and I leave it at that.  I say that because since my brother's divorce, his exwife refuses to show up at the same time with the kids as my brother, then I have one brother who's wife is mad that my other brother divorced, so she refuses to come to anything he comes to.  Personally I think the nicest person out of all of them is my brothers girlfriend (he's been divorced 3 years now) who has been nothing but polite and gracious about it all.  She's actually a joy to be around.  So I extend invitations to everyone and tell them its my home and I'll decide who comes or goes, not them.  If they opt not to come then, oh well, they'll have missed out on a lovely dinner and evening and it's their loss not mine.   They can't say I never invited them.  As long as my own kids and husband have a nice day, then it's all ok with me.  

Slow down, take a breath, and remember in the scheme of things, holidays come and go, so don't get stuck in making it all perfect.

[kathybrj]

Can't afford the time or energy to stress here. I have a family get together two weekends before Christmas- finger foods and desserts- no gift exchange at all. We'll grab a fresh tree around the 18th of the month-we leave it up until after New Year's Day for the Epiphiany.

Christmas Eve is a few hours at the in-laws; dinner, dessert and spending time together- no gift exchange there either. Christmas Day is our family time, at home. Open gifts in the morning, big breakfast and then a simple mid-afternoon dinner. Friends and family come and go, stop by for desserts and just to visit.

If I have time, over the next few weeks, I'll bake cookies for the folks at work and have some for home.

Our holidays all revolve around us being together and spending time as a family and enjoying being with friends. We don't stress the gift thing, but rather the time spent together.

It works for us and that's what counts. Other things work for other folks. As long as it makes you happy, that's what really counts!

[B-flat]

camperoo, I like your comments about it being your home and you invite everyone you want there and if someone misses out on the fun that's their option.  Sound like the GF is a dream come true for being so gracious.  Now, that makes the holidays less stressful. I also like that budgeting idea for gifts.
 
I asked SO (significant other) about helping me decorate our first Christmas Tree.  He said, "NOOOO, I don't do Christmas trees."  I said how about helping untangle the lights, then.  He said "NOOOOO, I don't do lights either."  LOL!  I asked why and he said he learned that he is not good at doing that stuff and doesn't like arguements.  LOL!

[jpreiser]

I asked SO (significant other) about helping me decorate our first Christmas Tree. He said, "NOOOO, I don't do Christmas trees." I said how about helping untangle the lights, then. He said "NOOOOO, I don't do lights either." LOL! I asked why and he said he learned that he is not good at doing that stuff and doesn't like arguements. LOL!

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Christmas morning when he gets nothing    , I would say NO>>>>> I dont give presents:):

[Miller Tyme]

We had nothing better to do tonite, so we got out the Christmas decorations and lights. Believe it or not, all the lights from last year worked!:D

We won't be putting up the tree(artificial) till after my b-day, so we have a few weeks to re-arrange the living room. We'd get a real tree, but we're afraid Lexi will decide to gnaw on it, or even tip it over when we're not home.:eek:
 
We even got some shopping done today, what with no Packer game on. Course, we waited till later in the day to avoid the crowds(spoken like a TRUE male of the species.):J

[B-flat]

Hehehe,jpreiser. SO was apparently trained by someone else. After assembling the artifical tree (all 1132 tips which had to be "shaped" for the first time), SO stated that the tree was worth the cost he paid for the tree. ROTFLOL! I added that he forgot to figure in labor for the assembly. (evil smiley) I am actually having more fun this year and lots less stress. The decorations will have to wait till after work tomorrow.
 
MillerTyme, your shopping must have been real fun because you were not missing a football game. Missing the football game would have caused stress.