Teachers opinions needed - and others!

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I'm sort of bummed out that GeneF is gone, because he's been a teacher for so long and must've seen everything.  
  Well, here goes -   We have DS #1 in a private Christian school.  For him this was important to us because he is easliy swayed and we want him to have a solid Christian background as he grows older.  It is almost breaking the bank to send him, but we still manage.  We tested DS #2 for Kindergarden in July, 2003 and the teacher said to give him another year as he was to immature.  Maybe to put him in a good pre-school program, etc.  When we moved here I signed him up for a program put through the public school system.  Well two weeks ago they called and said he wasn't eligable for the program because he's 5, and it's only for 3-4 yr. olds.  So they suggested putting him into Kindergarden.  I said fine and got his records all set.  DS#2 is great and doesn't really think much about others opinions of him.  Basiclly I know that he will believe in God, etc because he knows it's right, it is in him.   Putting him in school with DS #1 isn't an option because of the $$$.  We just couldn't afford it right now.  Anyway his 1st day was Monday, with a substitute (teacher out sick).  Tuesday I walk him into class and meet Ms. ___.  She seems quite disguisted he has had no previous schooling (pre-school) and couldn't write his name yet, reported that on Monday he was "quite a discipline problem", he would definately stay back because he was so far behind, and in general had an awful attitude.  It was the hardest thing I ever did as a parent to walk away and leave my child in her care.  All I could think is, "This woman is going to break his spirit so she's not inconvienced"   When I got home I was in tears and DH demanded I call the principal, that she had no right to make those judgements on a child that she just met.  Principal apoligized about the "being held back" comment and said DS #2 would be meeting with other teachers to see just where he stood and get him some help catching up, which is just what I requested multiple times with my visit with Ms. ____.   I'm not sure really what to do, should I pull him out and do pre-school at home with him?  Should I just wait and see what happens with these other teachers?  I've already contacted the PTO about joining and getting involved in the school system.  I just need some advice from teachers and others.   :confused:

[Garrett]

Talk to your private school.  Many of them offer discounts for multiple kids, scholarships or will let you volunteer to offset tuition.

[wiininkwe]

Be heartened by the fact that this teacher is a substitute and your son won't have much contact with him/her.  In the meantime, see if his regular teacher would allow you to do some volunteer work in the classroom, so you can see if the problem was just with that sub, or common in that school.   Also let the principal be aware that you are an 'on hands' parent and that you will be interested in discussing issues that come up with both he and the teacher.   There are so many parents who do not pay any attention to their kids progress, or problems or successes (and there are plenty of those)  And there are sooo many kids.   And there are some teachers (Genef, if you're lurking, please  don't take offense cuz I'm not talking about the  teachers like you) who could be working in a factory, as that's how they see their "job" and who don't have a clue as to how important their attitude is to each child.  You are on the right track by being concerned right from the start, and letting someone know about it.

T

[luvourjayco]

I know that curriculums vary but principles remain the same no matter where you go.
You need to realize that PTO etc have a very small voice in how things are run and if you are looking to change policy that way, you will get very frustrated.
 
If you have concerns with the teacher or school staff there is a chain of command and if you follow it and kill em with kindness you get a lot further. It is always better to have a conference with more then one adult in the room so no one can say to you later I never said that. I am a very proactive parent and am currently president of our parent council. That being said I find that making an appointment and talking resonably with the principle and teacher at the same time about your concerns and suggestions for ways to deal with your child really can make a difference. No one wants to discuss things with someone who is visable upset ( they think you are too emotional to be rational ) or yelling in there face. I like to be approached in a manner that shows me you care enough about the issue to be an adult, then I will listen. If you approach them in that manner I am sure someone will listen to you. Make it your problem and tell them you require their help in fixing your problem. Team work is so much easier then beating a dead horse.  Be proactive and don't back down, your child is reason enough to keep at it, but at the same time kill em with kindness!!!

[springer02]

Hello!

I am an Instructional Assistant (aid) in a public school and have worked with kindergarteners the past three years.  I wouldn't worry one bit about what a sub said about your child.  Subs can get very overwhelmed very quickly, especially if she wasn't experienced in dealing with small children. We've had some terrible subs who shouldn't even be in a school.  (I'm not trying to start anything with people who sub, I'm just stating my opinion here!)

I'd log all conversations you have with anyone (and possibly copy any e-mails to the top person in the school district) in the school and my first chat would be with the principal.  I'd tell her exactly who the sub was and what was said and let her know how disappointed you are.  If your school is like mine, the PTO has very little input into personnel issues and are more into the fundraising and fun activities for the kids.

Did the school do any pre-testing with your child?  If so, I'd ask to see a copy of those records just to see where your child falls in the range of kindergarten knowledge.

I'd love to hear how this all plays out, keep us posted or if you have any more questions, e-mail me!

Tena

[Kelly]

Is the school district so small that there is only one Kindergarten classroom?
 
We had a very similar problem with DS in first grade.  He came home absolutely  miserable the first few days of school and we were having a hard time figuring out why.  Finally I went in and observed the class and his teacher was very similar to your son's teacher ~ I was very upset to see the way he was treated.  I talked with the principal and his case manager (he's in special ed) and within 2 days we had him into a different classroom ~ where he absolutely Thrived!
 
I don't know if it's an option, but I would suggest considering it.  Sometimes the fit between student and teacher is just "off".
 
Good Luck.

[Acts 2:38 girl]

Sorry, I must have not been to clear!  This was the teacher who said all of these things.  The sub was on the 1st day, and I met the teacher the next day.  The good news is my DS said his teacher was very nice to him (I grilled him as soon as he got home!) She sent home a note that wasn't overly friendly, but then again, I was pretty emotional that day!  I have decided to take luvourjayco's advice and kill them with kindness!  Everybody has bad days, I guess we were just both having a bad day, it's just I have more emotions involved!  Our private school does offer a discounted rate, but it's still not a lot!  I'm going to see if I can volenteer in his class and help her out.  Keep praying for us!  Thanks  
Oh and there are SIX kindergarden classes!! Yikes!    God help the teachers!

[campingboaters]

I think that had your son started Kindergarten in the begining of the school year with the rest of the kids, there wouldn't even be an issue with the teacher.  
 
Your son just needs to adjust to being in school -- as all the other kids did in the begining of the school year.  The other children have settled into their routine and your son just needs to get there too.  Unfortunately, the other kids know what is expected of them and your son not knowing what is expected is what makes him stand out.  HOPEFULLY, you can work with his teacher to help your son settle into the routine and start enjoying school... and for the teacher to enjoy having your son in her class.  If you try to work with his teacher and things don't seem to be changing, then have your son moved to another class.  You don't want him hating school.
 
This is just what I would be doing if this was my child.

[DiW]

Andrea,
When I was 4, our Catholic elementary school needed a teacher immediately, so they asked my mom to step in. Having no one to take care of me (my brothers were already at the school in 1st and 3rd grade), the school suggested putting me in the K class. It all worked out ok, but I started right after Thanksgiving and from what I'm told, I had a little trouble adjusting to the program. Perhaps your son is in the same situation. I had no nursery school beforehand so I didn't really know what to expect such as circle time, reading time, penmanship, snack time, etc. Since I went to a Catholic school, discipline was strongly enforced and no one cared that I was new to the program. I was expected to do what all the other kids did, even though they had been there since Sept. Luckily I adjusted quickly. I actually enjoyed it. But I was lucky that at 4, I could already read, print my name, and cut with scizzors (my brother flunked cutting).

Having gone through K with 3 kids of my own, I see what a wide range of capabilities these children have. I think most K teachers recognize this as well. Around here, there is a real push these days to have a strong academic program. MOST of the kids entering K have gone through pre-K programs or full day (daycare) programs and are truly ready to move ahead (or at least their parents are). My oldest child was not reading when she started K, nor was she writing. She did struggle a bit academically. Luckily her class had an aide who worked one on one with kids (writing/drawing in their journals, reading, etc).

The trend around here is to have full day K (our school hasn't implemented this yet). Kids that aren't ready for a full day academic program (like my oldest) are encouraged to wait a year and enter at 5 1/2 or 6. These kids are expected to be mature enough to keep up. This is much different from the experience I had at 4, when the goal was socialization skills, then academics. Around here, most kids have been in preschool for 2 years before Kind, so they are quite familar with the socialization aspects of school, as well as knowing numbers, colors, reading & writing.

You are probably the best judge of whether your son is ready for school, emotionally, socially and academically. Don't let the school bully you but keep a careful eye out so you can decide if this is the best fit for your son. My husband and I were both the youngest in our classes and it all turned out fine for us. On the other hand, I know plenty of kids (usually boys) that waited until they were turning 6 to start K. They are also doing fine. I think it's probably too soon to make any judgements in your son's case as he just started. I'm amazed at the sub/teacher's quick judgements. I would listen to their assessments over the next month but try to get examples of situations so you can come to your own conclusion. The school should also have a child study team that can help you decide if he's ready for K or not.

I think you said you were told before your move that your son was not ready for K. Maybe go back and revisit that assessment. Has anything changed? Sometimes a move can set back a child, at least temporarily. But don't stress over this. Staying in, changing schools, etc. It's usually harder on the parents than the kids at this age. I know my son started at a cooperative preschool that he/I loved but 3 weeks later, I had to transfer him to a different preschool that had a program for kids with special needs. I was worried - he saw it as just getting to play with new kids.
Diane

[angelsmom10]

I have to apologize up front for I have not read all that is written (as I'm finally away from teachers as both DD's are in college), but I seen this on our local news recently -- you can go to a website and veiw or post opinions about teachers
 
www.ratemyteachers.com
 

[julecav]

I'm very lucky that my daughter has a great teacher this year but if I was faced with your dilemma I would see about having your son switched to a different class.  Sometimes a teacher and kid just have a personality conflict.  I had a teacher like that when I was in school and I still remember how rotten she was.  Please don't let him start off school with a bad experience ( I haven't posted in a while but I've been around long enough to know you wouldn't)I think because my daughter's first teacher was so great it's a big reason she loves school now.  You might have to go to the school and hoot and holler but your kid's worth it!

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I tried to rate the school, but it wasn't there.  When I tried to add it, the site  said it wouldn't accept elementry schools??  
Anyway, I sent a note to the teacher today saying how much I appreciate her notes on DS's papers commentiong on what needs to be worked on.(I really do need that imput from her), and thanking her for working with us.  I am taking my cues from my son, who seems very happy with everything and says his teacher is nice to him!  So far, so good!

[Camperroo]

It's too bad the teacher prejudged a child she really hadn't gotten to know, but hopefully things will ease up.  The best thing to do is to be at the school as much as possible, volunteer as often as possible, due lunch duty,etc. so you can watch your child and see how he is interacting with other children and kids.  

I'd also follow up with your other child's school, we have both children in Catholic schools and we were very upfront that tuition would come, but slowly as it is a huge financial crunch for us, but well worth it in the education and attention the kids are getting, plus nonsense in the school is absolutely not tolerated at all.  I like the discipline, the kids are so used to it, they wouldn't know otherwise and they love their teachers.   But no matter what, parent participation is the absolute key in both private and public school.  Request conferences whenever you feel it is necessary, ask the teacher what does she think your child may need extra help with, will the school provide that assistance or do you do it yourself.   You sound like you're  doing everything right, just hang in there, it will smooth out!!

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I never thought about lunch duty, what a great idea!  Thanks  :XMas

[Michicampers]

Our public school system also offered one of the best pre-school programs, but there are several other good ones in our area, and I checked out most of them on my own, and went with the opinions of friends with children the same age for the rest. There must be some other pre-k programs in your area? These days, I think most kindergarten teachers expect that most children have had some pre-school. We were told that a couple of the most crucial skills the kids will need when starting are the ability to sit and listen to the teacher, and basic social skills for getting along with other kindergartners. The academics skills can follow, but it sure helps if kids know the alphabet and can at least spell their names when starting school. My kids were lucky to have small classes in kindergarten (18-20), and aids in the classroom, but that isn't always the case. All of my sons' teachers have encouraged parents to help regularly in the classroom too - which I think makes a huge difference, especially when you have a child who is lagging. As everyone else has said, getting and staying involved in the classroom can make a big impact on your son's success in school. All that being said, if it were me, I'd still give the little guy another year to mature before sending him off to school. Some kids can and do catch up and thrive, but since your son's pre-k teacher already said it would be a good idea to wait last spring, why push it? It will only get tougher to try and "fix" things later on if his maturity just isn't there yet. When it comes to things like these, I always to try to go with my gut instinct, and not be offended by what one cranky teacher said. Some teachers just don't want to be bothered with kids that need more attention in the classroom, but I believe that most are concerened about the long-term welfare of the kids, and I continually ask for and value their opinions. If the general current is against your son, I'd wait out the tide. JMHO   .