She is going away boohooooo

[birol]

Yup, it is true, she is going away !

We thought long and hard and it was a very difficult decision for us. After having passed all the deadlines, we decided that DD should be able to go to a camping trip with her class this Wednesday  :rolleyes:  :p

This is a two nights, three days trip, 200 km's away from home arranged by the school. At first we decided that she wouldn't go, because of financial and safety reasons, but we reversed ourselves. She never spent a night really away from home (Except sleepovers, always in houses where we got to know the parents really well) and we are pretty uneasy.

I don't know how we are going to pass the time till she comes back. We started to lecture her already on what to do, what not to do, and all the safety related stuff we think she needs to know. It is the millionth time she heard all this stuff, but I like her attitude of still listening intently everytime she hears it. maybe she is just acting as if she is listening

I am persoanlly hoping that she will have great time with her best friend there and come back safely, together with all the other kids. We weren't worried this much when DS went on his first trip. Advantages of raising a daughter I guess.

Just wanted to vent off, and see if we are the only ones who are really worried over that first trip away from home.

[NightOwl]

Oh, dear, Birol, you bring back some very  mixed memories for me.  We raised two DD's and went through exactly the same thing  you describe.  It always ended well with our girls having a very fine time and returning to the family roof safe and sound but being without them the first few times was very difficult for my DH and me  

But the thing is, NO ONE  prepares us for this kind of pain and worry when we are contemplating parenthood.  It is all kind of a learn-as-you-go experience.  Your daughter sounds sensible and close to you and her DM, so I think you have nothing to worry about (But you will worry anyhow until she is back home with you again.)  Try to keep busy and try to  Think Good Thoughts about this necessary step in her growing-up process (And, dont forget,  it is YOUR growing up process, too.  

(The first time our oldest DD was away from home for 10 days (at age 17)  I cried everytime I  caught  a glimpse of a girl on the street who reminded me of her.)

And remember: they have to try their wings when they are young or they never learn to fly on their own.

[B-flat]

No, Birol, you are not the only one who gets very concerned when a child, especially a daughter, is going to be away form home for the first time on a school trip.  The truth is that you just can't shelter her from everything.  She has to get out and develop social skills in the real world.  When she returns you can make your announcement that you "investigated" all the chaperones that went on the trip.:J

[angelsmom10]

This is only the start.... you'll still have concerns no matter what age she is.  We had the same issues even when our DD was a senior in HS and she went on a caving trip.  
 
This will never end.....:W

[NightOwl]

No, Birol, you are not the only one who gets very concerned when a child, especially a daughter, is going to be away form home for the first time on a school trip.  The truth is that you just can't shelter her from everything.  She has to get out and develop social skills in the real world.  When she returns you can make your announcement that you "investigated" all the chaperones that went on the trip.:J

Nancy--INVESTIGATE  the chaperones???!  :J   what in the world would we do without your wonderfully skewed sense of humor?

This is only the start.... you'll still have concerns no matter what age she is.  We had the same issues even when our DD was a senior in HS and she went on a caving trip.  
 
This will never end.....:W

And you, too, Nancy!   :W

"This will never end"    Oh, yes, I hate to admit it, but they are married now, have fmailies, lead useful, happy lives and dont take dumb chances but  we still worry.

Some very wise person once  observed that when you have children you then have "hostages to fortune."  Truer words were never  written.  

[birol]

Chapereons !  Don't get me started, I probably wouldn't want to investigate them  ! One possible chaepereon one was encouraging her 9 year daughter old to have sleep overs (and they had several, and they were announced boy/girl friends, and then she and another girl from same class were announced to be experimenting and so on .....) with a boy of same age all the time. Some people out there are, emm, wicked  :rolleyes:

Based on what kind of life they had, how they were raised, people have very diverse ideas on how kids should behave, what is modest behaviour etc .....We can only count on it that, hopefully DD knows right from wrong and has the willingness and will power to stay on the right track.

We are just starting on the road to raising a daughter ! I think I will print the dating my daughter thingie from Camperroo's thread and hang it everywhere  :J

[NightOwl]

Chapereons !  Some people out there are, emm, wicked  :rolleyes:

Based on what kind of life they had, how they were raised, people have very diverse ideas on how kids should behave, what is modest behaviour etc .....We can only count on it that, hopefully DD knows right from wrong and has the willingness and will power to stay on the right track.

Birol, you are right--peer relationships can certainly have a great influence on your kids.  You have to make sure "the peers" are the kind  who will benefit your kids and have the same values your family has.  It is just common sense to check out the parents and the homelife of their friends.   We were very fortunate that our kids were not attracted to precocious girls who were anxious to grow up fast and get into the dating scene.  I think I would have croaked if my10 year old had wanted lipstick and a "training bra,"  had  wanted to attend a boy-girl sleepover or--HORRORS--"go steady".   :eek:

Stick to your guns and make your standards clear.  Some day you will undoubtedly  hear the phrase "But Daddy, everyone is doing it.." and you can say "But you are NOT 'everybody'  YOU are our one-of-a-kind special child!"  like my  mom and dad did to my brother and me  and like we did to our daughters.    :W   It may sound corny and old-fashioned, but it usually works.

 I will admit, you  cant always make them perfect and you cant  always keep them from temptation or foolishness, but  you can sure up the odds by  letting them know that you expect the best from them.  (Also, be sure you let them know that YOU  believe they are capable of 'being the best" and of upholding your family honor even when you are not around to see.).

This is a tough world for raising kids, but it has always been that way.  Wnen our girls were in Junior High, there were  drugs and pot smoking at school as well as alcohol at parties (at the "nice" homes of "the nicest" people)  Partly it was luck and partly it was because they had a lot of self-respect, but our kids were just never into that scene although a lot of classmates  from our socio-economic level were and some of them paid a high price for it .

[birol]

Nightowl, very well put ! We can only do so much and hope that the kids take and accept what we are trying to pass onto them, a that is the way I would want them to raise their own children one day !

I now realize that I am not a one of a kind loonie type living in the past

[B-flat]

Ah yes, I hark from the dinosaur age, Stone Age or sometime way back when.  NightOwl has it correct.  Stick to your standards and make it very clear what you expect.  You are definitely not an old fashioned loonie from the past.  You can't shelter you children forever but you can protect them from falling in with the wrong crowd, to a degree.

[Gone-Camping]

I don't know how we are going to pass the time till she comes back. We started to lecture her already on what to do, what not to do, and all the safety related stuff we think she needs to know. It is the millionth time she heard all this stuff, but I like her attitude of still listening intently everytime she hears it. maybe she is just acting as if she is listening

I'd give ya a dollor or two just to know what was going through her head during one of your lectures!!!
 
My niece doesn't mince words at all, she'll let us know exactly what she thinks, which is sometimes really scarey!!!!

[NightOwl]

I now realize that I am not a one of a kind loonie type living in the past

Ah yes, I hark from the dinosaur age, Stone Age or sometime way back when.  Stick to your standards and make it very clear what you expect.  You are definitely not an old fashioned loonie from the past. .

YES--lyou're both right on the money on this.   The truth is:  some things never go out of style     AND GOOD PARENTING IS ONE OF THEM!  :p  :S