More Stress

[angelsmom10]

Saturday DH and I celebrated our 22nd anniversary.  We were just our shopping and go a call from my DD (from a previous marriage).  (As some of you know, I am from a very dysfunctionaly family.)  Anyway DD advised that my mother had passed away and for me to contact my other DD's for her, which I felt I should be the one telling them anyways.  It was upsetting, called home to check voice mail so the DD's didnt' get home before us and get any messages, and my brother left a voice mail cussing and basically just saying that he knows I'm happy as "she's dead".  What a message!  I never wished any ill will on any member of my family.  The my DD decided to call the other DD's on the phone and left voice mails for them also that she had passed away.  DH and myself had decided that we would just wait till we seen them as there was nothing they could do anyway and just didn't want to tell over the phone.  But they ended up with the call anyways.
 
That is the only thing I've heard from any member of my family.  We have been through a lot.... my brother tried to kill himself the day before challenger blew up, and my father killed himself the next year just 2 weeks before Christmas.  Along with other family problems, I had become an outcast and the bad child as my family took in my x-husband and our DD and believed everything he had told them.
 
So to carry on, but just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be around for the next few days.

[birol]

Sorry to hear that you mom passed away Nancy, my Condolonces ...

People think  anything they want to think, only you know your own feelings and emotions. May God give you the strength to overcome this difficult  period.

[wiininkwe]

Nancy, please accept my condolences on the passing of your mother.  And, don't let yourself get bogged down by that old "what will people think?" crap.  You, and you alone, know what the real details are in the things that have happened to you, but you don't have any obligation to anyone to try to make them understand that.   Be secure in the knowledge that you know enough to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and that the Creator loves you, and is proud of the strength you have to deal with this.   Live thru this new problem with dignity and peace, and you'll be an example to those around you.
Toni

[B-flat]

I am very sorry to hear of the passing of your mother and I hope that you will not let the others (dysfunctionals) pull you down.  Just assert yourself when someone insults you (answer with I'm sorry you feel that way and I am not going to discuss it right now or why do you think that is the case?) and don't fight back since it won't do any good.  Asking questions when people are rude and disrespectful puts the burden on them to prove their point and takes the defensiveness off of you.  It doesn't cost a thing to be nice and you don't have to put up with the kind of treatment from your brother or DDs that they exhibit, especially under the circumstances.   Everyone here will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

[NightOwl]

Nancy, you and God know what is in your heart--these people do NOT!  Let them think what they want...they will anyway and you have the comfort of knowing they are wrong..  (Remember  in the Bible where it says:  "Man looketh on the outside.."?)  

These people--trying to  live out their own twisted fantasies by tormenting you over this--do, indeed, sound "dysfunctional"  Knowing what kind of people they are and how "limited" they are, just keep your heart strong and your faith in God as your armor, and go on with your own good life.

My heart and prayers go out to you.

[vjm1639]

Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Just remember we're all keeping you in our prayers through all you're dealing with now.