Rude, ruder, rudest annoyances

[B-flat]

(Rant mode on)
Today I was in a serious conversation with another person where I work.  A third person who also works there entered the room and passed right beside where we were sitting and interrupted with something that didn't even involve work.  When I thought she was done, I started to speak again and in mid-sentence the 3rd person interrupted me the 2nd time and continued to babble.  Now being the nice person I am, I did not interrupt her but I stood up and said that I have to go and of course the 1st person I was talking to had an expression on her face that she knew I was leaving because I had been interrupted.  So, as I out the door leaving the 3rd person (interrupter) starts apologizing and blah, blah, blah and I hear it behind me and just say I really have to go.  

How many others get tired of being interrupted?  How many think it is terribly rude?  How many have this problem with upper management doing it?  The first time I sort of brushed it off, but the second time I could not brush it off and valuable time was wasted and no solution was being gained for the work related problem I had been  discussing.   First time was rude, 2nd was ruder and waiting until I was out the door to apologize was rudest.

Tell us on this thread what you find in this day and time that is rude, ruder and rudest.

[AustinBoston]

How many others get tired of being interrupted?

Don't get me started on this one.  I was taught not to interrupt, and to be courteous even to those wo do interrupt, but I get to the point where I've had enough from time to time.

A similar behavior which really gets me is walking away while still talking.  Am I expected to get up and follow you?  If what you are saying to me isn't important enough to make sure I hear it, then shut up and don't say it at all.

PJay is from a larger family where people were expected to shout to be heard at all, and listening to multiple simultaneous conversations was necessary for survival, so we are on opposite extremes on both of these issues.  Unfortunately, the kids find it easier to follow her approach.

There have been times it's gotten so bad I've threatened to sleep in the pop-up, much to other's delight.

Austin

[Camperroo]

Don't get me started on this one.  I was taught not to interrupt, and to be courteous even to those wo do interrupt, but I get to the point where I've had enough from time to time.

A similar behavior which really gets me is walking away while still talking.  Am I expected to get up and follow you?  If what you are saying to me isn't important enough to make sure I hear it, then shut up and don't say it at all.

PJay is from a larger family where people were expected to shout to be heard at all, and listening to multiple simultaneous conversations was necessary for survival, so we are on opposite extremes on both of these issues.  Unfortunately, the kids find it easier to follow her approach.

There have been times it's
Austin

ahhh know this situation well!!  My poor DH was raised in a family that was very quiet and well heeled, you didn't interrupt - then he met me and my band of 4 brothers and YIKES we scared the life out of him!!  We all talk over each other and can actually follow the conversations!!!!  You should see us at birthday parties and holidays!!!  

However at a work situation...the other person might not have realized it was a serious conversation, but once they did, should've excused themselves so as to give you a little privacy.

[B-flat]

This manager heard the serious conversation going on but chose to interrupt anyway.  She walked right beside us and heard the discussion. :eek:  :mad:   I used to say to those that interrupted that I was speaking first but that didn't seem to work either.  I have tried asking to please let me finish making my point (no, I am not long-winded.)  Now, I just walk away and leave it because every carefully tactful approach has not worked.  Believe it or not, walking away tends to get some folk's curiosity up on what I had to say.

[NightOwl]

Nancy, I think you have probably hit upon the best way to handle this situation.

Another way (although desperate)  is to TOTALLY ignore the interrupter and keep right on talking like they are not there (it's hard  sometimes to hear the other person you WANT to converse with, I know)  and   do not acknowledge that they are present by even so much as looking at them; finish what you were saying to the OTHER person and then walk away.  (Even better if you BOTH walk away leaving her talking to herself)

I actually did this several  times with another counselor at Univ of Michigan who had a habit of blabbing emptily and endlessly about personal details of her own "fascinating" life.  She acted as though, since I was often talking to a mere student, the conversation could not be important.  (It was; they were my "clients")

She finally got the message to my delight and began avoiding me. :S

Of course, she was not in a "managerial" position, so that helped.

[griffsmom]

I have had this happen as well, and while I too try to be nice about it, there are times when I reach my limit.  I then say in my sweetest voice, "Oh!  I'm sorry! Was I talking while you were interrupting?  No, please, go right ahead!."   I shouldn't say it (and don't very often) but sometimes, it just makes me feel a bit better to have let the person know that they were being rude.  Problem is, rude people never see themselves or their behavior as being rude.  it's always "the other person!!!" :eek: :mad: :rolleyes:

[B-flat]

Quote:

"Oh! I'm sorry! Was I talking while you were interrupting? No, please, go right ahead!."  

I like that one and I'll use it next time.  I already use a variation of it;  "Were you talking, too? Go ahead."

[gsm x2]

Quote:
 
"Oh! I'm sorry! Was I talking while you were interrupting? No, please, go right ahead!."
 
I like that one and I'll use it next time. I already use a variation of it; "Were you talking, too? Go ahead."

I think carefully about the words I say and unfortunately it means that I will pause, giving people that opportunity to interrupt.  In work situations, I just calmly state, "Please let me finish.  It is very important that you don't interupt me.  I will return the courtesy to listen to what you say before I comment."  It works most of the time, but some people just have interupting inborn in them, but it even slows them down.
 
gsm x2

[griffsmom]

I think carefully about the words I say and unfortunately it means that I will pause, giving people that opportunity to interrupt. In work situations, I just calmly state, "Please let me finish. It is very important that you don't interupt me. I will return the courtesy to listen to what you say before I comment." It works most of the time, but some people just have interupting inborn in them, but it even slows them down.
 
gsm x2

Scott, you are truly a gentleman and a scholar.   If more people were like you, this world would be a nicer place.  

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I have this same problem with DH family.  I really don't know how to approach the situation either.  My FIL constantly inturrupts ANY speaker, as does my MIL.  Most of the time I think they do it to make me lose my train of thought so I don't finish a sentance!!  What is really funny is my FIL will be in the middle of a conversation with me and my MIL will come right over to show me something she's made (etc - you get the point) and stick it right in front of me so I have to acknowledge it and then she starts talking about her project - even while my FIL is still talking!  What is that??  Who does this?  Isn't that the wierdest thing you've ever heard of?  Now, my DH can really keep up a conversation, but I try to let him spreak his peace and then talk myself, but even my DH gets bugged at his Dad!  
I have tried ignoring my MIL until my FIL is at least done with a sentance, but it doesn't work.  I've even held up a finger as to say "one minute" while keeping eye contact with my FIL, but she will not be put off.  The conversations I have with my FIL are usually very good, so I think my MIL might feel left out.  I would include her, but she usually can't keep pace with how the conversation is changing and wants to throw gossip in , which FIL and I don't really participate in.  
 
Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!!

[MommaMia]

Ok... I'll be the first one to admit.  I have a very bad habit of interrupting.

There, I said it.

I don't interrupt other conversations, mind you.  It's when someone else is speaking to me and something pertinent pops into my head, I have the horrible habit of blurting it out right then, instead of waiting for "my turn" to talk.  I know it's rude and I'm working on it.  I think the reason I have such a hard time with this is that my mind is always going a hundered miles an hour and I fear that I am going to forget what it was I was going to say and I get this overwhelming urge to spill it out at the moment it comes into my head.  I can't really explain it fully.  I know I shouldn't do it but POP there it goes, right out of my mouth.  

I really have to work hard at resisting the impulse.

sigh.... Don't hate me.

[birol]

Interrupting people are my pet peeves ! I hate it when people do that ! I let them but in for a few seconds and then go, Do you mind if I finish what I was about to say, and give them a cold stare ... that usually does it, as I get a very hostile look when I am doing it .. I know not the best way to handle it, but you would think people would have the decency not to interrupt, especially when the next sentence I am going to say addresses just what they  start to talk about.

[B-flat]

I understand the part about people whose mind races 100mph and I have trouble slowing down myself, but if something I am saying is not being heard, then it must not be important. Right?  Then, it's time to move on and let the  one I was speaking to wonder what I had to say.  I also understand those that carefully select their words and pause a bit which could lead someone to believe they had finished speaking, allowing someone to accidentally interrupt.  If someone is really paying attention (listening) that should not be a problem.  So, for those chronic interrupters, I want to ask......what was I just talking about?  They probably don't know and don't care.  At least that's the attitude that is projected. :mad: