OT- HS Prom Weekend - Ideas?

[DiW]

The HS Prom sure can be stressful for parents, can't it? I was wondering what the prom is like in different parts of the country. Around here (northern NJ), the prom is not just a fancy country club dinner/dance but it's a whole weekend of fun. USUALLY that means kids going directly from the prom to the jersey shore (motel) for a weekend of partying... not my kid, though. It's simply not an option (and she's not complaining but she is looking for something fun to do). BTW, she's 17.

Last year her b/f understood there was no way she was going to the shore and he was ok with that. They had a small get together back at his parent's house . I picked her up (around 2am or so) so her b/f didn't have to drive her home (turned out to be a smart move because they were both exhausted and glad I did the driving). Then they went to see a play (Grease) on Sat night. This year my DD and her friends are trying to organize their own plans so they can control what happens. Anyway, my DD is looking for ideas for weekend activities. She and her friends are trying to avoid late night driving because there have been too many car accidents, due to fatigue or alcohol/drugs. She doesn't want to get a limo - partly to save $, but she prefers to save that as an option for her senior year so that it's special.

I was lucky growing up, because we could walk all over town and prom night usually involved numerous parent-hosted parties that much of our small class attended. For instance, one house would have late night snacks/music/dancing etc. The next house had a dessert bar. Finally, the last house was the breakfast house. Then everyone went home and slept. Many of us headed into NYC to see a Broadway play, etc. Around here, the house to house isn't an option since it requires driving/parking to go everywhere.

I always hated the idea of coed sleepovers (thought the teens were pulling a fast one on their trusting parents). Now, I'm rethinking it. My DH hasn't given his approval yet because we're waiting to hear all the details but it looks like one of my DD's close friends is planning an after prom party/sleepover at her house. At first I said no way (I considered it the same thing as the hotel deal). But then I realized the girls actually had thought things out. Both of the girl's parents would be there at all times (The mom is one of their HS teachers so she knows them all pretty well). The kids could hang out, watch videos, blast music, play pool, whatever. Since it's an open style house, they'd be plenty of supervision without appearing to be in the way or spying. Either at a set time (or before) the kids would have to split up. The girls would sleep upstairs while the guys would sleep downstairs (the girl's two brothers & father will be downstairs also). Then in the morning, everyone would leave for a day at Six Flags amusement park.

We haven't given our ok but am considering it. Has anyone been through this? My DH doesn't see why the kids just can't all go home after the prom. Back in my day, I went to several proms and in all cases, the parties continued long into the night. It was really FUN and relatively harmless. I can see why the kids want to make the weekend as special as it was in my day, whereas my DH doesn't see that. (BTW, he didn't attend his HS prom).

There must be other alternatives out there. My DD's friend suggested a large camping trip (guys tent & girls tent) but most of the kids weren't interested. I offered to camp on Sat night near Six Flags if they want to stay in that area before driving home on Sunday. I think some of them are interested because they could stay at the amusement park longer and wouldn't have to drive back until the next afternoon. Plus they like the idea of hanging out around the campfire, etc. It's kind of hard to argue. Reminds me of what I like best about camping.

What is popular in your HS? How did you deal with this?

Diane

[angelsmom10]

The proms around here are not a weekend event, but most of the time 1 of the parents have an "after prom" at their house and the kids just crash there till sometime the next day.  Our youngest we allowed to go to her boyfriends prom when she was freshman and we had the after prom at our house.  We only had about 5 other kids and they just went downstairs and crashed.  Her junior and senior prom she was at someone elses and they had a blast.

[MommaMia]

Ummm...  Why NOT get a camping trip together?

[jpreiser]

The HS Prom sure can be stressful for parents, can't it? I was wondering what the prom is like in different parts of the country. Around here (northern NJ), the prom is not just a fancy country club dinner/dance but it's a whole weekend of fun. USUALLY that means kids going directly from the prom to the jersey shore (motel) for a weekend of partying


My Dh is a police officer down here at the "shore" he always sees limos and cars coming late at night with kids from proms around this time of year...... usually by the next night he sees them again... (called to the house for a party or something) All in all most of the kids behave, but some do find beer, etc....)

[Camperroo]

Prom around here is one special night of dressing up magnificently, going to a nice restaurant and then to the country club or hotel where the dance is held.  Some kids take limos for the fun of it all and several parents host a pre-dinner get together for the kids at their homes before they head off in all their splendor to the fancy restaurants and then to the dance. However, it isn't a weekend event.  My DD wouldn't be allowed to take off to go anywhere after it for the rest of the weekend and I absolutely am against co-ed sleepovers.   I'm not saying this in a negative light...you're being really nice to your DD trying to offer up solutions for the weekend, but really, the best thing you can do is have her understand and appreciate how special that prom night is and not do what so many parents do in our generation today, continue to go the extra mile just to make our kids happy and make sure they aren't disappointed somehow.  

I hope her prom night is beautiful and special and a night she'll fondly remember when she someday looks back on it when it's her own daughter's turn someday!!

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I don't see any big problem, especially with both paernts there.  I'd call them and let them know, under NO circumstances are they allowed out, the boys in, etc.  High School is ending, and Prom is just one of those events that finalizes it all!  DH and I went together and it was great!

[DiW]

Well, I just returned from a meeting at the HS that was held to discuss prom weekend dangers. Expected to hear about drinking & driving, etc. Scary hearing about all the date rape drugs out there as well as Ectasy, etc. Amazed by the statistics for sex and partying, even for middle school kids. Seems the counselors are going to start a drug program in the elementary schools because kids around 10 years old are getting high (nationwide, not just here in NJ). I'm glad my kids only attended supervised parties through the years. Made me stronger in my resolve to forbid this prom weekend motel deal. My DD seems to understand my position. I actually think she agrees with it. She and her friends seem to be moving along in their plans to spend Saturday at Six Flags... They don't seem to need all the bells and whistles (like limos) to make it special, just some time to hang out together without having school work to think about (they're all good students with heavy work loads).

I would like to see my kids have an equally wonderful prom weekend that I had back in my day. Guess it seems normal to me to have a whole weekend of events since that's been the tradition as long as I can remember. Sure made my HS days special. I just hate the extra dangers these kids face today... Was happy to meet up with the other parents (of my DD's friends) so I could hear first hand who feels the same way I do. It was informative. I was glad to hear my DD's close friends' parents feel the same way I do. Some of the other parents that are normally so strict seem to have no problems with prom weekend. I actually heard some parents say "What's the big deal?" Seems their teens spend a lot of unsupervised weekends down the shore on a regular basis, staying at their summer homes, etc.

Good news- my DD won the raffle for a free prom bid. That should help with expenses.

Diane

[NightOwl]

Oooooo, reading all this takes me back!  Congratulations on the raffle win for your DD, di.  So glad other parents are concerned and involved in their kids prom and after prom-activites.  It makes it easier  for everyone.  No limo?  What a sensible daughter you have! :#     Limos are great fun but not a necessity for everyone.

In our small Georgia town, the last ten years has seen several  tragic teen auto deaths during prom and graduation week.  Much effort is now being made by everyone to make this a safer time.

My oldest DD went on an after-Prom boy-girl sleepover, although not the kind most kids go on today,  I guess.  There were several "breakfasts" they planned to attend right in our neighborhood so I didnt expect her until maybe 6 AM.  Came downstairs  about 4 and found DD and  her best friend asleep on our living room couch, DD's date was stretched out in the window seat, and best friend's date was sprawled in a big chair.  All of them dead to the world.  Said they  had just gotten  too tired for any more partying.

[DiW]

That's basically what happened last year when I arrived to pick my DD up at her bf's post prom get together. His parents said she and her bf had fallen asleep while watching a movie about an hour before I arrived (2am). I had suspected that would happen which is why I didn't want them out on the roads that late. When we took him camping with us, we noticed that neither was a nightowl  . People give us grief for allowing bfs to come camping but it's quite revealing. I guess the same can be said for having friends along. Kids can put on a good act around parents but it's hard to keep it up for an entire weekend.

I recently heard from some people in another area that kids in their area go bowling after the prom (in their prom gowns/tuxes  :confused: ). Guess the bowling alleys stay open all night and half the school shows up.

My DD said some people suggested going to the Pocono Mtns instead of the jersey shore but she thought it seemed too "couple" oriented. She wanted more of a "friends" thing.

Diane