25 Rules for Living with Men

[GrizzlyTaco]

Here's something on found on another site, Enjoy Ladies.....

 25 Rules For Living With Men

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

14. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

[dthurk]

Why is it I get this feeling that the 25 rules for living with women is coming in just a couple hours?

[AustinBoston]

You left the most important one out.  I told both my daughters when they started dating:

"All guys are jerks, including me.  Get used to it.  If you can't accept that, give up on guys now.  It's not going to be different for you than it has been for the billions of other women that have lived with men."

Austin

[dthurk]

You left the most important one out.  I told both my daughters when they started dating:

"All guys are jerks, including me.  Get used to it.  If you can't accept that, give up on guys now.  It's not going to be different for you than it has been for the billions of other women that have lived with men."

Austin

Goodness gracious, AB!  How depressing.  You want grandchildren?  

My wife and I like each other.  I try to be nice to her.  She'll watch ball games on TV with me, I go to Disney on Ice with her.

[Dee4j]

Ed and to think I USED to like you   J/k  its ok..we will camp toghether again someday :Z    I must admit some of those are pretty funny unfortunately very true too

[tlhdoc]

FYI: ALL MEN ARE BRAIN DAMAGED BEFORE BIRTH
 
 All fetuses start out female.  If it is a male fetus and it begins to produce testosterone it cause some changes in the developing fetus.  What would have been ovaries become testicles, other tissue becomes other male parts AND part of what becomes the brain is destroyed.  So ALL MEN ARE BRAIN DAMAGED BEFORE BIRTH, that is why men and women don't think the same way.
So for all of you men out there, when your wife/girlfriend/mother/or other woman in your life is not happy with you, just remind them that you are brain damaged.

[brainpause]

Although I agree with the 25 rules listed above, unfortunately, the following rules also exist:

Rules Written By Women

Rule # 1 - The female always makes the rules.

Rule # 2 - Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification to the male.

Rule # 3 - No male is allowed to know the rules.

Rule # 4 - If the female ever suspects that the male knows some or all of the rules, she must change some or all of the rules.

Rule # 5 - The female is never wrong.

Rule # 6 - If the female ever appears to be wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding caused by something the male said or did which is wrong.

Rule # 7 - The female may change her mind at anytime.

Rule # 8 - The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

Rule # 9 - The female has the right to become angry or emotionally upset at any time.

Rule # 10 - If rules 6 or 9 apply the male must apologize.

Rule # 11 - If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void at her discretion----see rules 1,2,5 and 7.

Larry

[GrizzlyTaco]

Although I agree with the 25 rules listed above, unfortunately, the following rules also exist:

Rules Written By Women

Rule # 1 - The female always makes the rules.

Rule # 2 - Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification to the male.

Rule # 3 - No male is allowed to know the rules.

Rule # 4 - If the female ever suspects that the male knows some or all of the rules, she must change some or all of the rules.

Rule # 5 - The female is never wrong.

Rule # 6 - If the female ever appears to be wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding caused by something the male said or did which is wrong.

Rule # 7 - The female may change her mind at anytime.

Rule # 8 - The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

Rule # 9 - The female has the right to become angry or emotionally upset at any time.

Rule # 10 - If rules 6 or 9 apply the male must apologize.

Rule # 11 - If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void at her discretion----see rules 1,2,5 and 7.

Larry

These rules must be for another Country.........LOL

[Dee4j]

Although I agree with the 25 rules listed above, unfortunately, the following rules also exist:

Rules Written By Women

Rule # 1 - The female always makes the rules.

Rule # 2 - Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification to the male.

Rule # 3 - No male is allowed to know the rules.

Rule # 4 - If the female ever suspects that the male knows some or all of the rules, she must change some or all of the rules.

Rule # 5 - The female is never wrong.

Rule # 6 - If the female ever appears to be wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding caused by something the male said or did which is wrong.

Rule # 7 - The female may change her mind at anytime.

Rule # 8 - The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

Rule # 9 - The female has the right to become angry or emotionally upset at any time.

Rule # 10 - If rules 6 or 9 apply the male must apologize.

Rule # 11 - If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void at her discretion----see rules 1,2,5 and 7.

Larry

Glad to see someone has it right