If My Body Were A Tv

[Recumbentman]

If my body were a TV, this is the time I would be thinking about trading
it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up
close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....
either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!  :p

[ScoobyDoo]

Yes, I feel your pain.
     
      But the lines in my forehead are not from playing with a ax.