RE: DIETING UNDER STRESS

[angelsmom10]

 
this is an old one, but just had to share
 
 
 DIETING UNDER STRESS
 
 This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day
 
 BREAKFAST         LUNCH
 « Grapefruit         4oz Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
 1 slice Whole Wheat Toast, dry      1 cup Steamed Spinach
 8oz Skim Milk          cup Herb Tea
             1 Oreo Cookie
 
 MIDAFTERNOON SNACK      DINNER
 Rest of the Oreo?s in package      2 loaves Garlic Bread w/cheese
 2 pints Rocky Road Ice Cream      Lrg Sausage, Cheese, Pepperoni Pizza
 1 Jar Fudge Sauce         4 cans or 1 large pitcher of BEER
 Nuts, Cherries, & Whipped Cream   3 Milky Way or Snicker candy bars
 
 LATE EVENING NEWS
 Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freeze
 
 
 RULES FOR THIS DIET
 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has NO calories.
 
 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
 
 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don?t count if you don?t eat more than they do.
 
 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sarah Lee Cheesecake.
 
 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
 
 6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one?s personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.
 
 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories.  The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
 
 8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.  Examples:  peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
 
 9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.  Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.  NOTE:  Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
 
 
 
 

[fivegonefishing]

 angelsmom10
Hey, I didn t know my diet was published[8D] although they didn t mention the snack after in between dinner and the late news.[]

[angelsmom10]

 fivegonefishing
Actually, I m on one of those " seafood diets" ..............
 
 I eat all the food I see......

[vjm1639]

 angelsmom10
I LOVE this one!  :>

[mike4947]

 angelsmom10
I prefer the fits diet, if it fits in my mouth I eat it.
 I have modified this diet slightly to include foods that don t fit, cut up until they do.

[tlhdoc]

 angelsmom10
This sounds like a diet I could stick with.[]

[angelsmom10]

 angelsmom10
I have and it shows[:@][:@][:@][:@]

[B-flat]

 angelsmom10
Hey, can I substitute Moose Tracks ice cream for the Rocky Road kind for the snack.  Yeah, I must have been doing the diet all wrong.[][]

[birol]

 angelsmom10
Who, me Diet ? No way !