OT: Alien Spacecraft

[AustinBoston]

Stolen from rmmga:

MARTIAN AIR FORCE DENIES UFO CRASH

Gusev Crater (MPI) - A spokesthing for the Martian Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Saturday.  Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

The story broke late Saturday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Gusev Crater Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop, and "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases." Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report. Another claimed sighting was reported a few weeks ago, over 6,000 miles away.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.

Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-up," pointing out that Mars has no swamps. They point to the release of secret government memos detailing attempts to discredit reports of the landings by alien space craft. The memos discuss strategies to avoid troubles similar to those caused by the War of the Worlds broadcast program of years ago. The program, which featured a sensational story of gigantic oxygen breathing two-eyed invaders from Earth, sparked planet-wide
panic.

Local residents like Driv Rhodo, who lives in the area of the alleged landings, are even more skeptical. "I seen it with my own 5 eyes" claimed Rhodo last week. "I've lived here over 300 years, most of my adult form.  Them things used to be few and far between but lately they come in every few years or so. The government wants to bury the truth, but I can tell you what's real. The Earthlings are going to invade, and the government is spending our hard earned tax dollars on press releases and denials instead of preparing for the battle to come."

A spokesthing denied any government involvement in the disappearance of Rhodo, who has not been seen since shortly after the interview, claiming "Any sentient being knows that a planet with the concentrations of water and oxygen found on Earth is a deadly and inhospitable environment for the formation of life, much less intelligent life. The fear and consternation caused by the unfounded and wild speculations of citizens like Rhodo are a traitorous disservice to the
citizens of Mars."

The report added fuel to the fire regarding last year's reports that explorers had found a bizzare piece of equipment near the northen Dry Ice Cap.  The explorers reported that the device appears to have impacted the surface and rolled over several times, and was smashed to pieces.  They brought back a few of the pieces, which the military also claimed to be parts of a weather balloon.




Not mine, honest...

Austin

[birol]

HAHAHHA, where did you find it ? So funny

[B-flat]

So, pray tell, is there really life on Mars? :rolleyes: :eek:

[NightOwl]

..." A spokesthing for the Martian Air Force..."

Austin

After careful thought, I've concluded this phrase is my alltime fave to appear on this forum since I first discovered it.  

I particularly love the idea of a "spokesthing" and feel its application  should not be limited to creatures from Mars!

Thanks, Tom.  We can all use a good laugh, especially these days.  (And I dont care who [or WHAT] you "stole" it from!)

[Viking99]

 Thats a good one!

[Calstate361]

My guess would be that one of our resident story tellers (and excellent writers)  in Neck-Neff-Cough here in Northern California wrote it.  It could have been either Ab Diver (Dave) or Surfcal (Ray).   We get great stories or play-by-plays of group campouts from them.

 
Joan