Unwritten Truths #3: Fun With Camp Cooking (long)

[AustinBoston]

This is third in a series of things that about pop-up camping that you won't read in any guide.

You have a fridge, or perhaps one of those extreme coolers.
You have all those dry goods carefully packed in Tupperware

[B-flat]

AB, you should write a book and call it, The Times of Pop Up Camping, with special editorials also by Dave and the Gang, plus commentaries by brainpause, 2 manytoyz, tim5055 and yours truly. Yep, anything that can go wrong with camp cooking has gone wrong.  Will we now have a guide on seasoning those dutch ovens you were talking about?  How about something on how to smoke up the house, the various types of oils that can be used and the ones that smoke the most, hot to get the correct number of coals for the temperatures required, and the best way to de-season a dutch oven.:J

[campingboaters]

Great "story", but you forgot to mention the trip to the emergency room when you stab yourself in the hand when trying to pry apart the frozen pork chops!! :eek:        

[wynot]

Well, by now, you've found out that there really is something to the idea of frozen Bob Evans sausage biscuits heated in the microwave and potato chips, because your daughter will eat them.  Ahh, the enjoyment of a cold drink, a content daughter and a cleanup that consists of throwing away plastic, paper plates and some paper towels.
 
You have had enough of the 40 mph wind and the sideways rain at night soaking your stuff.  Not only did your campfire not fully burn out, but with the wind, it is now smoldering smoke directly at your camper which now smells like a summer Saturday night at the KOA.
 
The light bulb clicks on - 'Hey honey, rather than cook breakfast and have to clean all that grease up as we get ready to pop down, why don't we go out?'
Great idea - where?  Where is that mom and pop restaurant - oh, that was 40 miles from here?  Gotta be something between here and there, you can't tell me that folks don't go out now and then.  No one at the campground knows of anywhere.  Oh, well, let's hop in the car and see what we find.
 
45 miles later, you finally have breakfast at 1045 at the only restaurant that people can think of...ya know, it really would have been easier to make a mess and clean it up...

[birol]

Well done AB !

Having burned the potatoes and getting smoked by unwilling to burn  pieces of wood at R.J. ranch,  I am starting to think that maybe we should not start camping and cut our losses :Y

[wiininkwe]

One you forgot:  You have decided to cook over the fire using the tripod dealy with the grill that hangs on three chain thingies.   You try to get the grill to hang so that the pan sits flat on it, but the ground is uneven and the legs to the tripod don't want to spread out far enough to straddle the hump in the ground caused by the last camper trying to dig a bigger fire pit and throwing all the dirt in a pile.    You think it looks pretty level, so you put the pan of bacon on it, then it starts swaying, and the pan slides off and the bacon lands in the fire and the grease catches fire.  It's an inferno!  Another myth....Yep, you got it!
T

[2manytoyz]

Too much of that story is so true!  

Our indoor stove also is the outdoor stove when using the outside rack.  Yup, it has no heat.  You'd be better off buying cans of sterno, and drinking them.   :p

Buy a used microwave for the camper?  Ya need to hit Home Depot at Christmas.  I got a NEW microwave for $33.  Can't beat that with a stick.

Power outage on the entire loop?  Yep, got pictures of why it happened here: http://www.2manytoyz.com/hrsp.html  (look halfway down the page).  We had a crockpot cooking our dinner.  So much for dinner.  Always have a backup plan.  Oh, when the powerline falls across the road, you won't be leaving the campground either.  

I haven't used a dutch oven since boyscouts.  I still remember the peach cobbler we'd make!

All that being said, NOBODY eats better than my crew on a campout, or at home:

http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp/lobster.jpg
http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp2/DSCN2660s.jpg
http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp2/DSCN0316s.jpg
http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp2/DSCN0326s.jpg
http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp2/DSCN2747s.jpg

Our friend takes the cake when it comes to the best equipped camp kitchen too.  She takes a deep freeze and short refrigerator with them: http://2manytoyz.com/camp/lksp2/DSCN2636s.jpg

Hey, we don't make this stuff up.  We're all nutz.   :rolleyes:    :cool:

[Acts 2:38 girl]

All that being said, NOBODY eats better than my crew on a campout, or at home:

Wow!  I guess so!   :eek:   You really put a lot of effort into it!  

I was thinking the same thing about a book for Austin!  Maybe that is a new direction your career could take, if your still looking.     You get pretty passionate about topics, you'd be a perfect auther!  

When your camping and have cereal for breakfast, it nearly kills you to smell bacon frying at someone elses site!  Bacon and eggs just go with camping!  I've been trying to enforce the rule of whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up, but my spolied DH doesn't like that rule to much!   :rolleyes:   Oh well, at least he can get a good fire going!    

[AustinBoston]

I've been trying to enforce the rule of whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up, but my spolied DH doesn't like that rule to much!   :rolleyes:   Oh well, at least he can get a good fire going!    

What you need is a new rule...whoever doesn't clean up doesn't eat.  I bet that would change his tune!

Austin (thinking about breakfast now)

[jawilson]

As usual, a wonderful piece of writing and wit. I actually look forward to each installment more then the previous one.

And speaking of previous stories... perhaps you should put a link to each of them at the beginning of the new ones. That way others can follow the links and get all of it at one time.

[tlhdoc]

Great Job Austin!  I am ready for the next installment.