Idiot sightings

[campingcop]

diot Sightings!!!!  Be careful, be v-e-R-y careful....

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
"large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
We had the largest one Sears made at that time,  a 1/2 horsepower. He shook
His head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2
Was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. W e recently had a new
Neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
Removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many
Deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place
For them to be crossing anymore."  From Kingman , KS
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
And ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
Lettuce."  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.   He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City !
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
Airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage w ithout
Your knowledge?"  To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
Would I know?"   He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
Cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
Of mine. She as ked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
Signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What
On earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
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IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker:
She was leavin g the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
Cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word
Was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
Stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

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IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
Back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her
System would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office
No less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealer-
Ship to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went
To the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
The drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
Tried the door handle and discovered that it w as unlocked.  "Hey," I announced
To the technician, "Its open!"   His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !
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ST AY ALERT!
They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and they VOTE!!

[Russinator]

Camping Cop - Those were great!!!

Russ

[Funrover]

ROFLMAO!!!!     Like Bill Engval says........."HERE'S YOUR SIGN"

[TheViking]

I have been in the glass business for 26 years.  It is a known fact that Tempered Safety glass cannot be cut after it goes through the tempering process.  A guy brings a piece of tempered glass into my shop one day and said he need 2" cut off one side.  I told him I couldn't because the glass would shatter into a million pieces.  He informed me that "A friend told him if you soak the glass in a bath tub of hot water it can be cut".  As straight faced as I could be I told I hadn't heard of that before and we are not experienced in that type of cutting.  He asked if he could just buy a glass cutter and he would do it himself.  I sold him a glass cutter and told him to call me with the results. That was about 18 years ago and I still have not heard from him.

[TheViking]

Oh, another good one was a lady called me and said she needed to order a piece of window glass for her house.  She said her husband measured it so she had the exact size to cut it. The size was 12" x 1 foot 17".  I said you mean 12" x 17". she said No, my husband is in construction and he knows how to measure, and it is 12" x 1 foot 17 inches.  I told her to have him call me back and never heard a whisper.

[dademt]

Believe me, I work in the steel industry and some of them are no brighter.

[AustinBoston]

Really, idiot sightings are not rare.  What amazes us is the ingenuity of the idiots.

I heard one story where a guy lopped his finger off in a machine.  After treatment, his stupidrvisor said he could not understand the description of what happened.  After some discussion, he asked the employee to show him how it happened.  Between the two of them, they lopped off another of the employee's fingers.  :yikes:

At least they know how it happened.  :eyecrazy:

Austin

[Nemesis56]

Here is a true idiot sighting.  
While traveling on I-80 near Marseilles, IL,  a pack of mororcycles (10-15) passes traffic like it was sitting still and continues down the road, passing everything in sight, riding 5-6 abreast in both lanes and weaving in and out of heavy traffic.  After about 20 mins the weather changes to a monsoon like rain.  Suddenly traffic is hitting it's brakes and lo and behold under an over pass is 10-15 motrocycles parked on both sides of the shoulder, and extending into both lanes of traffic by about a bike and a half.  Then some idiot decides to non chantaly walk across both lanes of traffic.  Walked like he had a potato chip stuck in the crack of his  butt and he was saving it for lunch and didn't want to break it.  All the while his buddies are milling aroud the edge of the shoulder, while semi tucks and other vehicles are laying on their horns and brakes trying to squeeze into 1 1/2 lanes of traffic.  The whole time this mope just casually walks over to the other side , just being missed by a van hauling a boat and proceeds to join in with his fellow morons giving traffic the finger.  Of course this was on the famous Mideast War Memorial Freedom Ride.  . Whoever that Jackass was, he should say a prayer of thanksgiving that he didn't get run over.  It was close.  Probally didn't even remember it when he sobered up the next day.  Then they wonder why bikers have a bad image

[robpoe]

Then they wonder why bikers have a bad image

We're not ALL like that.  I promise.  

My mom was in a McDonalds on one of her trips she takes bi-annually with her dad.  This was one of those McDonalds that sells bags of ice.

Mom and Grandpa finish their breakfast and go to the counter.

"We'd like to buy a bag of ice."

The lady answered with "Would you like that for here or to go?"

Mom almost answered "For here, and can I have some ketchup with it, too?"

[Nemesis56]

We're not ALL like that.  I promise.  

"

I know.  My BIL and me rode alot togeter back when I  a bike.

[ScouterMom]

went into an Arbys drive thru - my son and I both love their 'Hot Ham & Cheese melts" (that's the actual name of the sandwich) - and ordered one.  

after paying and getting my bag, I pulled into the parking lot to open my sandwich & eat.  

No cheese.

OK - it's a simple, standard sandwich on their menu. Ham, Cheese, bun - how tough can this be? so I go back thru the drive thru, explain the problem, hand back the sandwich, and get another one. Takes a long time, holds up the line, they make another one fresh while I wait. stop in the parking lot..... NO CHEESE!

This time I go IN to the restaurant.  after explaining the problem to the manager (again) I finally get another sandwich.

This time they forgot the HAM!

[robpoe]

went into an Arbys drive thru

Used to work at one.  The stories I could tell, but then again, the stories anyone in food service could tell about their place of employment (ugh!).

Worked at McDonalds once.  Busy store, we held strictly to the "hold times" for food, and always put out a high quality of food.  We wouldn't send out nasty fries (not like they do today!!).

Man gets fries in the drive through, takes them home, and they're cold.  Well, in a paper sack they cool QUICKLY.  Most know this.  But we offer to replace them (and his entire order, that was the kind of training we had).  We get some fresh fries out (they'd JUST come out of the fryer about 1 minute before they were served to him).  He tried one and said "No, still not right.".  I clear out the fries in the bin (not trashed them, but there were some cooking), and put the fresh hot sizzling ones seperately in the bin, and serve them to him.  

"Still not right, they're cold", he says.

I don't know what more I could have done, short of letting him stand and eat them out of the frier with tongs, so he got his money back.

[AustinBoston]

Worked at McDonalds once.  Busy store, we held strictly to the "hold times" for food, and always put out a high quality of food.

Please don't take this personally, but that's the first time I've seen those two terms used in the same paragraph.  :yikes:

Austin (first summer job at McD's...helped me stay in school)

[robpoe]

Please don't take this personally, but that's the first time I've seen those two terms used in the same paragraph.  

Ok, I concede.  High quality product .. as well as it could be ..