RE: Help ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!

[AustinBoston]

 shirleyb

ORIGINAL:  shirleyb
 
 Hey,
 I work in the Dihydrogen Monoxide business, although we also like to call it Hydrogen Hydroxide, so if you ban this substance, you ll put me out of work and my three kids out on the street.  Do you want to be responsible for that!  Huh, do you?
 

 If you work in the industry, then you should be required to shower in the stuff!
 
 Austin

[brainpause]

 AustinBoston
It also makes brakes less effective. You can find it in many drinks, especially sports drinks, yet people CONTINUE to consume these beverages.
 
 It also affects crops DIRECTLY. If this chemical gets to the crops, there are always consequences.
 
 Dihydrogen monoxide should only be used in trained hands! When I worked in the chemistry lab, it was kept in a special place; everyone knew where it was, but you only used it if you needed it.
 
 Fire trucks carry it with them too, so it does have its place. But even firemen can misuse dihydrogen monoxide. It can damage floors and ceilings.
 
 AB, I will sign your petition to ban it altogether.
 
 Larry

[AustinBoston]

 brainpause
Dihydrogen Monoxide is actually the primary reason we have a hard time seeing through fog, resulting in thousands of auto accidents and many deaths each year.
 
 Austin

[Ab Diver]

 AustinBoston
We used to call this substance Dihydrous Oxide. It has several characteristics and physical properties that could be deemed " magical"  in certain circles: Note, a person surrounded by large amounts of this substance will become *weightless*, able to soar, glide, and move about in methods similar to fish and birds. This substance is also incompressible, and yet expands when chilled to a sufficient insufficient temperature. It s also known as the " Universal Solvent" , as almost all known natural materials will dissolve at different speeds in it s presence, reaching a point of saturation. Scientist have long observed a distinct relationship between extreme low levels of this substance and decreased life expectancy. Meanwhile, extreme high levels, if introduced into the oxygen exchange tissues, can have immediate life threatening results. As with all dangerous substances, extreme care should be followed at all times in it s presence, especially if young children are in the immediate vicinity.

[brainpause]

 AustinBoston
Adding to Abdiver s comments:
 
 Although an extremely low level of dihydrogen monoxide is associated with low life expectancy, very high levels of this substance are, again, dangerous. It is associated with hyponatremia, hypokalemia, and can result in heart arrhythmias as a result of these low electrolytes.
 
 Interestingly, also, PURE dihydrogen monoxide will not conduct electricity, or has a very high resistance. Put a little table salt in a sample of pure dihydrogen monoxide, and it becomes an EXCELLENT conductor of electricity. Another " magical"  phenomenon associated with this substance!
 
 Larry
 
 PS: This is almost as much fun as the limerick thread!

[Acts 2:38 girl]

 AustinBoston
you guys are really getting into this, huh??!!! []

[whippetwrun]

 AustinBoston
Personally, I think they ought to make this dangerous stuff a controlled substance and properly charge people for it when they crave it or need it.  Maybe a dollar for a 12 ounce bottle?

[AustinBoston]

 whippetwrun

ORIGINAL:  whippetwrun
 
 Personally, I think they ought to make this dangerous stuff a controlled substance and properly charge people for it when they crave it or need it.  Maybe a dollar for a 12 ounce bottle?
 

 That would come to $10.67 a gallon!  Clearly, we will never be rid of this stuff if industry can make that kind of money off of it.
 
 Austin

[birol]

 Acts 2:38 girl
Under threat of brutal physical force of I was made to go naked under a Dihydrogen Monoxide squirting apparatus which had the unpleasant effect of spraying my body with this icky sticky matter. It took hours of drying and rubbing to get rid of all the material from skin, which got very irritated and turned red !
 
 This brutal punishment using Dihydrogen Monoxide must be banned in all countries, and Dihydrogen Monoxide be declared a WMD !

[AustinBoston]

 birol

ORIGINAL:  birol
 Dihydrogen Monoxide be declared a WMD !
 

 There were concerns in Iraq that the Saddam Husein government might use explosives to release huge quantities of Dihydrogen Monoxide into certain river valleys as our troops tried to cross those valleys.  Loss of life could have been high.
 
 This was a technique that was actually used in the early days of World War II by the British against the Germans.  It was very destructive, and caused siginficant loss of both military and civilian lives.
 
 So yes, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a weapon of mass destruction.

[whippetwrun]

 AustinBoston

 

ORIGINAL:  AustinBoston
 
 
 That would come to $10.67 a gallon!  Clearly, we will never be rid of this stuff if industry can make that kind of money off of it.
 
 Austin
 

 But  it would be kept controlled and contained, federally regulated even, and thereby mitigate the problems it causes.