RE: For those that are wonderring what happenned

[rednekrubbrduck]

 
I haven t been able to post that much (just have time to read) due to my schedule at work...but the idiot step father that did the bad stuff to my kid is in jail now, and they re moving the case up here to KC  cause it s the only place we have an established residency for him and the ex.  Also, we went back for the admended custody thingy last thursday, and we won sole custody (which my lawyer said was extremely rare, especially for the father, and she s has never won a sole custody case), and the judge gave the ex an extremely restrictive visitation schedule till sept in which he ll review it.  Between Lori documenting everything, the state s Social Services report, and my testimony, the judge agreed that the ex makes bad decisions (and that s putting it mildly) when it comes to the DS s health, safety, well being, and upbringing.  I still have some small hope that the ex will realize what she has done and place ds s needs ahead of her own for a change, but she s so self centerred and spoiled (and her parents aren t much help in dealing with the " lil princess"  syndrome), and she doesn t feel the need to listen to anyone else..including the Judge, that I don t know if she ll ever wise up.  At least Lori is here, and she s a wonderfull stepmother to Logan.  Couldn t ask for a better woman to be in our lives.

[brainpause]

 rednekrubbrduck
Glad things look good for you and Lori and Logan (especially Logan).
 
 I have an admission to make: I read, with interest, each time you post about this saga. However, I admit that I also think to myself that " I m only hearing one side of the story."  But, with your above post, it appears that very little if any has been stretched by you, especially given the fact that you have won sole custody of Logan. I guess I am trying to apologize for my thinking, although after working in a Level I trauma unit, and another ICU for a while, I am skeptical about believing some folks. It s just the single-side-to-the-story phenomenon!
 
 I will continue to look with anticipation for more good news!
 
 Larry

[Jo Ann]

 rednekrubbrduck
larry, its good to view things as having two sides...its just that sometimes the other side just happens to stink....

[Jo Ann]

 rednekrubbrduck
red...wasn t following what has been happening, but i am sooooo glad you are your son s advocate!  his head and heart are gonna need alot time and patience to heal.

[birol]

 rednekrubbrduck
Redneckrubberduck,
 
 I am happy things seems to be getting better for your son. I am sure God will take care of busienss with some people later on as well.
 
 Larry I understand where you are coming from, but, that kind of thinking hurts some parents. Our DD (She was around 7) had a lot of bruises on her legs , really big ones, and appearing for no reason. We were very concerned and took her to our family doctor, which had a look at her legs and started to give me very bad looks ! I was furious but contained myself. She did not ask any questions which implied anything but the way she looked at me said a lot. We kept repeating that these appeared by itself and we are very concerned, she even asked DD who told the same thing. After checking all of her body for marks and all, she sent her to a hospital for full x-ray scan citing marks of trauma and they xrayed all her bones ! Even the X-ray people gave me bad looks. It hurt [>:] Turns out I hadn t broken any bones in her little darling body [:@][:@][:@]   The nerves that doctor had , I refuse to go to her for anything anymore !
 
 She could never found out what happened to her, and it still happens now and then. I am sure for my story , you have at least ten other stories where parents abuse their children, but, man, it hurts ......
 
 

[NightOwl]

 rednekrubbrduck
Ian-- warm congratulations to you and Lori and Logan!!  I have seen and heard of  SO MANY cases where a rotten mother was given custody of a child despite all evidence of her being " Unfit"  that I have become very cynical about our legal system and how  it so often fails to protect kids because of the outdated idea that a mother is always, or usually, the one with the nurturing instincts.   Good to see that there is a judge who actually loooks carefully at the entire case.
 
 Yet, Larry is right that things are not always what they seem and  in his profession, I am sure he sees  many things that just make him sick.
 
 Birol, I think a lot of innocent parents are getting " those looks"  now as awareness of child abuse becomes more frequent.  It must be really upsetting when you have done nothing, but on the other hand,  when we think of the kids who really  ARE being hurt, it is good that nurses and doctors are being more careful to make sure everything is really OK when a kid comes in with bruises.
 
 Funny thing, a few years ago I was having a yearly checkup and had quite a few  bruises on my arms and legs--my doctor said in a VERY SUSPICIOUS  voice, " WHAT caused all these bruises?"   I just laughed because shortly before, I had gone on a wild furniture moving binge and had banged myself up on sharp edges and corners.  I told her what happened and added that she neednt worry about ME--I would only be abused once by ANYONE  because immediately afterward I d be serving life behind bars for homicide.[][]

[Jo Ann]

 rednekrubbrduck
actually its a good thing that docs and nurses and other staff are on the look out for abuse...and it does hurt...i even had my daughter taken out or my arms cuz i was suspected of abuse, turns out 2 yo kids with fair skin get red hand marks on them when held by a standing parent in a clinic waiting room for 4 hours.  but i let them do their thing and then explained why the red marks where there and why they faded fairly fast.  but i didn t negate their actions, i applauded them and thank them for being concerned enough to face the rath of an innocent irate parent. (i was too tired by then to be irate anyways [] )
 
 but in birols case, it was impeding the efforts to find out why she was brusing which was really important.  i would have went back to the docs and say now find out what is wrong with my daughter.

[birol]

 rednekrubbrduck
We did, she couldn t and they disappreaed all by themselves ..... She still gets them now and then , so does  DW [&:] It is not me I swear []

[Acts 2:38 girl]

 rednekrubbrduck
I once had some girls I worked with ask me if my DH beat me!  Not because I was ever bruised or marked, but because I was so shy and quiet!!  I didn t know anybody at my new job and just did it quickly and went home.  Once I relaxed and made some friends, they asked me about this.  It was so funny I started laughing hysterically, then it became a little scary.  Just because I was shy, my husband beat me??  Man, what a conslusion to draw!  
  I also worry about that with my kids.  Two of them have been to the ER for stitches next to thier eye.  Two different incidents at two seperate times,  but the whole time I was wondering, "  What if they think I did this?"   I guess you hear so much about this kind of stuff on the news, and like Larry sees it at work, you just have to wonder about some parents.  And Birols daughter is very sweet, soft-spoken, and seems shy.  Maybe thats why the Dr. drew the same conclusion about her that my co-workers did.

[DiW]

 rednekrubbrduck
My oldest DD was a big solid baby (about 10 lbs). She nursed constantly. My 2nd child was born at 7 lbs 12 oz. He didn t seem interested in nursing and when he did, he immediately fell asleep. He slept alot. Everyone told me I was lucky but I suspected something was wrong since he slept through the night as soon as we got home (and my 1st was colicky). I kept taking him to the pediatrician and they confirmed he kept losing weight. At 2 weeks old and now down to 6 lbs, they hospitalized him and ran tons of tests, finding nothing wrong. Instead they sent in a social worker and a family conselor to talk about the stresses of raising children.I was scared for him and frustrated because they thought I was neglecting him. Unfortunately it took 3 yrs to discover that his failure to thrive was due to a serious neurological condition.
 
 The prior year my DH decided to bring a cup of boiling water to me. Not knowing he was standing over me, I stood up to get my cup and we collided spilling the boiling water all over my face and shoulder. I was treated at the hospital and questioned separately from my DH. I also noticed the dr asked my DD questions, to hear it in her words. My face was red, blotchy, and peeling (lips and eyelids) for weeks. Many people gave me looks but if it were the other way around, I might wonder myself.
 
 Although I noticed people s reactions, I ve learned not to let these things bother me. I have a red arm (large birthmark) and have spent my entire life being stared at. My son has had 2 halo braces and believe me, everyone stares at a kid in a wheelchair with a halo brace on. He simply smiled back and would say hello. Now he s more self conscious with all the stares (due to so many scars on his head and body) but he deals with it. Spending so much time in the hospital, we have seen kids that have been abused and it s horrible what these kids go through (broken bone after broken bone, cig burns, etc). Hopefully someone is helped with all this careful checking because most people won t tell and too much abuse continues.
 Diane