RE: CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

[angelsmom10]

 

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 " Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, " It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
 ~ Jack Handy
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 " I feel sorry for people who don t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that s as good as they re going to feel all day. "
 ~Frank Sinatra
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 " An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
 ~ Ernest Hemingway
 
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 " When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
 ~ Henny Youngman
 
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 " 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
 ~ Stephen Wright
 
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 " When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let s all get drunk and go to heaven!"
 ~ Brian O Rourke
 
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 " Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
 ~ Benjamin Franklin
 
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 " Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
 ~ Dave Barry
 
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 Remember " I"  before " E" , except in Budweiser.
 
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 To some it s a six-pack, to me it s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
 
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 And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here s how it went:
 
 " Well ya see, Norm, it s like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
 

[CAPEd CODger]

 angelsmom10
I ll add the line from my signature to this fine list.
 " I d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"
 
 I like Cliff s reason best.

[Turn Key]

 angelsmom10
Sure can t argue with any of that [][][]!

[Starcraft Dad]

 angelsmom10
I don t usually drink beer, BUT, someone at that brewry might be dreaming of buying a pop up.  Guess I will have to get a case now.[]

[George]

 angelsmom10
I noticed from the title that you left out the word soul... (chicken soup for the teenage soul, etc...)
 
 Does that imply that beer drinkers don t have souls?
 
 

[chip]

 George
I m a Soul Man....
 

[Miller Tyme]

 angelsmom10
You forgot the best quote-
 
 " HHMMMMM BEEEEER!"  - Homer Simpson[8D]

[tlhdoc]

 angelsmom10
This is soooo funny.

[Venatic]

 angelsmom10
You all have made me want to try harder to get a job at Anheuser-Busch. Good thing the can was next to me so that I wouldn t misspell Anheuser![]

[madrone]

 angelsmom10
I wonder if Norm noticed that the buffalo are almost extinct....
 

[kathybrj]

 angelsmom10
Too funny! Thanks angelsmom![8D][][]

[birol]

 angelsmom10
Amazing, it is a beer thread and I didn t pitch in. I Must be loosing it, sorry [&:]