Minnesota folks only

[topcat7736]

Just a copy of an email I received today. Is it actually true? LOL  :J  :W  :Z

WELCOME TO MINNESOTA!  
Following are a few tips for anyone moving to this great state...


First, the West Nile fever season here is really short. Ditto, malaria and any other disease carried by mosquitoes.

At first, you may think snow is pretty.  Snow is not pretty! By December you will feel as if you are living in a black-and-white movie. And there is a lot of snow!  Deep snow!  Deep snow that doesn't go away. The reason Northwest Airlines paints its tails red is so they can find the damned things.

You will find new loves here.  One of them will be underwear that goes all the way down to your ankles.  Any underwear above the ankle is considered lingerie.

When you pack to come to Minnesota, you need only to bring one short sleeved shirt (and that's only in case you want to fly back home for vacation). Short sleeved shirts are handed down here from generation. The short sleeved shirt season here begins July 26 and is pretty much wrapped up by 3:30 on the 28th.

We play a game here called hockey as well.  Hockey coaches will kidnap your children before they even start school, so beware.  They'll return them in April.  As for baseball we never know if we have a team or not.

Minnesota has more than 10,000 lakes, hundreds of thousands of miles of rivers and streams, millions of acres of forest, and one Krispy Kreme. Guess where everybody wants to go?

And do not call the homicide division to a beer joint because of what you see behind the bar. That's only a jar of pickled pig's feet.

Welcome to Minnesota!

[B-flat]

I have a tape on How to Talk Minnesotian...hehehe. It was given to me by a friend who had relatives in Minnesota.

[AustinBoston]

As a newcomer to Minnesota, I feel qualified to reply.

Just a copy of an email I received today. Is it actually true? LOL  :J  :W  :Z

WELCOME TO MINNESOTA!  
Following are a few tips for anyone moving to this great state...

Don't.

First, the West Nile fever season here is really short. Ditto, malaria and any other disease carried by mosquitoes.

The only thing that makes it short is that you die in the first week.  Those that survive a year here have skin that makes rawhide feel thinner than silk.

At first, you may think snow is pretty.  Snow is not pretty! By December you will feel as if you are living in a black-and-white movie. And there is a lot of snow!  Deep snow!  Deep snow that doesn't go away. The reason Northwest Airlines paints its tails red is so they can find the damned things.

The snow is very light and fluffy, though.  Easier to shovel 18 inches of Minnesota snow than 4 inches of New England snow, which is always wet and heavy (until it freezes into a solid mass that can't be shoveled with anything less than a bulldozer).

You will find new loves here.  One of them will be underwear that goes all the way down to your ankles.  Any underwear above the ankle is considered lingerie.

Yup, never thought I'd wear long underwear so much.  I knew I was getting used to the cold when it felt quite warm at zero degrees.

When you pack to come to Minnesota, you need only to bring one short sleeved shirt (and that's only in case you want to fly back home for vacation). Short sleeved shirts are handed down here from generation. The short sleeved shirt season here begins July 26 and is pretty much wrapped up by 3:30 on the 28th.

This is a false perception by someone who has never actually spent a summer in Minnesota.  Minnesota has two seasons, bitter cold and sweltering hot.  The day we moved in was over 100 degrees.  The cold season is definitely longer, though.

We play a game here called hockey as well.  Hockey coaches will kidnap your children before they even start school, so beware.  They'll return them in April.  As for baseball we never know if we have a team or not.

Minnesota has more than 10,000 lakes, hundreds of thousands of miles of rivers and streams, millions of acres of forest, and one Krispy Kreme. Guess where everybody wants to go?

One Krispy Kreme is too many.  How I miss Dunkin' Donuts. .

And do not call the homicide division to a beer joint because of what you see behind the bar. That's only a jar of pickled pig's feet.

I had a hard time figuring out what was going on with all the murders on the evening news.  Then I realized that there are so many murders in Boston that murder isn't news there any more.

Welcome to Minnesota!

You Bet!

Austin

[Miller Tyme]

That list also works for Wisconsin--just substitute Dunkin' Donuts for Krispy Kreme.
You don't want to know what other pickled delights I've seen in bars around the state.:!

[topcat7736]

In the 70's, I spent most of one January & February in the Minneapolis area attending some training classes. Four of us shared a rented Maverick and each of us had an efficiency apartment in the Oak Grove Hotel. During one 24 hour period,  it snowed & rained on & off (especially during the night). We left the hotel at about 7am, (finding the temperature at about 25 below zero before the wind chill), & climbed into the Maverick. Started right up! We let it warm up, put it in reverse & nothing. Got out, looked & found the tires were frozen to the ground in ice up to the rims. Went back into the hotel & asked the manager what we should do. His reply? "Do like everyone else & wait til spring"! I always just loved my trips to Minnesota.