Made a comment! UPDATE!!

[byrdr1]

I made a comment on another thread about life taking over my life and campin'.
I want to explain that comment.
My 2 youngest kids have played sports since they could walk. My youngest DD plays sports year round.. Soccer(2 times each year), softball, then basketball.
My middle DS plays soccer(2 times each year) and baseball. so we always on the go.practices, games, meetings, etc.... My oldest DD is in college and hasn't been doing anything but school since 12th grade where she was in the Marching Band 4 years and played soccer a few years.
So we have always been busy with these things and CHURCH....
Well for the past 3-1/2 years we have always worked camping into these plans, but as the kids get older each year they have to do more to be involved with above things.. So we as adults have to put our lives and things we want to do on hold, SO that we can make sure our kids have the fun they need..
I am not complaining about this because I love to see them smile when they do good at their sports.. First basket in a BB game. First hit to the outfield, First in the park homerun. Catching a pop fly. Keeping the other team from scoring a goal.. All the firsts are worth it all.
BUT now things are really heating up for us as a family..
This is the main thing..
My wifes dad (BOB)who just turned 70 in MArch has been acting funny for around the past 3 weeks. So we finally got him to go to the doctor last week on Tuesday. Well Thursday we found out he has terminal Brain cancer and has 4 tumors. This has come from, we found this out Friday his lungs. Both have cancer in them as do some other vital organs.. SO we have spent the last 6 days with my FIL in the hospital running from home to the hospital, with ball games in between in different parts of the county..
I am not crying a river, just want friends that I know here, to pray for us as a family and for BOB.. BOB was very independant and this is not going to be easy on the family. I lost my dad 23 years ago.. SO I can relate to the hurt and stuff..
I am trying to keep the kids going and the wife is doing the daughter thing with her dad..AND most of all I am trying to be the BIG STRONG husband that my wife needs to get through all this stuff..
Ever have that feeling when life just takes over?.....Thats where I am at today...
This qualifies as "life" is winning in the war of camping and fun and life in general..
JUST an FYI....
randy

[NightOwl]

Oh, Randy, my heart goes out to you and all your family, and so do my prayers for all of you.  I too lost my dad to cancer which had metasticized from melanoma to brain, lungs, and liver.  Because of special circumstances, we were able to nurse him at home and had the satisfaction of knowing he died surrounded by those of us who loved him. We were so lucky--his doctors took him off all his heart meds and  6 weeks after he was diagnosed he died of  heart failure.  

Your wife will need all the support and understanding you can give her--and all the freedom  (TIME) she needs to be with her father and help him walk this last trail strengthened and supported by love.  This means that all of you in your family will have to make sacrifices but believe me, you will never look back and regret it.   This will not go on for long and other things can be put aside for the time being if needed.

You struck me as such a strong and kind and loving  father and husband when we camped together at the rally and my guess is that you will handle this with wisdom and  courage and will help your DW to do the same.

Feel free to vent when burdens grow heavy and never fear that you-all are alone as you go through these next sad and difficult days ahead of you.   Just know that we  will have you and Bob  in our thoughts and prayers

[wiininkwe]

My Dad and my brother were also taken from us by brain cancer, and thinking of anyone else going thru that sad process is heartbreaking.  Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.
T

[Miss-Teri]

Randy, I'm so sorry.  I'll keep your family in my prayers, and I hope that your FIL's last days are as peaceful as possible.

[angelsmom10]

Will also keep your family in our prayers also.
 
I understand about the kids... with 2 DD's both in dance since they could walk for over 11 years, we did nothing but dance including competitions,we ran 5-7 days of the week with that and then our youngest got into sports (baksetball, softball, and archery) and then we had to split ourselved between them.  We didn't camp when they were younger, but since they got their driver license, we started out camping.  I do miss the days in some ways, but in other ways, it's now our time (wish DH had a job so we could camp like we had hoped).
 
You will not regret the time you spend with them now as soon they will be "on their own" whether living with you or not, they grow up fast.  ENJOY!

[MommaMia]

Your family will be in our prayers as well.  

Enjoy your time with your family.  Camping will be there for you when you are ready to venture out again.

Your wife is lucky to have a strong and supportive husband. Chin up and best wishes!

[byrdr1]

Well I had to find this thread to update it.

Just so you will know.

My father in law Bob lost his battle with Brain and Lung cancer Friday August 13th at 6:30pm.

I have just gotten back to reading and writing on the forums I visit. This one is my first cyber camping home so I wanted to update you all first.

Bob lived just a few days short of 3 months after we discovered he had cancer.

He was married to my MIL for 53 years and was 70 years old.

He fought a good fight right up till Friday the 13th. He walked a mile or so each day with his wife. He had gone out to eat Thursday night and ate about halve his food and wanted to go home as he was tired. I saw him Wednesday night and noticed he was breathing a lot harder and asked him how he was and he said OK. I did not go over Thursday but my wife did and she came and told me her dad did not look good and was breathing harder.

Hospice was coming Friday to see him. My MIL called on the 13th and said Hospice was there and things were not good.

I left work picked up my wife and we headed to her Mom & dad's house.

As soon as I walked in the door I knew he looked worse than Wednesday evening.

Her mom came out of the kitchen and started crying. I knew that the end was close but only HE knows for sure.

After getting some comfort drugs into BOB we talked with the nurse. She told us the next 24-48 hours were going to be critical to his health.

She ordered a bed so that we could try and take care of him at home until Monday and then we would see where he was health wise and weather we would go to the Hospice home. The bed arrived at 3 PM and I put him in it. At around 6pm we noticed his breathing seemed to become labored. With Teresa and her mom and sister and myself around BOB he breathed his last breath around 6:30pm that evening.

My two oldest kids had gone to a friend

[Kelly]

Randy ~ thank you for the update.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and ALL your family.

[tlhdoc]

I am sorry for your loss.  I am sure the right thing was done (the comfort drugs) and I Jean comes around and realizes that it was the right thing to do.  It sounds like she is striking out because she is hurting.

[kathybrj]

byrdr1- so very sorry to hear what you've been through.

My dad has been very ill the past few weeks- in the hospital and out of it from pain meds for quite a while. We didn't want to go on any of our trips this summer, but my mother insisted we go- just leave a park # and site # incase she had to contact us. My brother and sister live closest to my parents and were around a good portion of time, but that didn't make me feel much better.

My dad will be 80 in September. He was working 30 hours a week up until this last bout of illness a few weeks ago. He's had cancer 4 times since he was 73 and has gotten through each time, dealing with chemo and radiation.

Our kids are also in a million directions with sports, music, etc. We've limited them to one sport per season, if possible, just to try to keep everyone's sanity. I dislike limiting them, but logistically it would be impossible to get them to everything they would want to do. We live too far from the schools, etc.

...just got to keep going, I guess...

Your family is in our prayers, that's for sure. Take it one day at a time and let Him steer the ship- He knows best.

Take care.

[NightOwl]

Randy, would your SIL have wanted her father to suffer and live a few hours or days  longer?   IN PAIN?  Clearly, he was NOT going to get well, so what is it she thinks might have been accomplished if he had received fewer pain meds and lived longer?

I imagine her anger is mainly against "fate" or even  God.  And of course, "everyone knows" we are not "allowed" to be "angry with God"  so she places her anger on people.  I think her anger is not an unusual  reaction and she very much  needs to get some grief counseling..  (And surely she doesnt believe anyone deliberately shortened her father's life?)  

So it sounds like her blame is just frustration and fear of the future now that her mother will be alone and needing more attention from her children.  Perhaps she is afraid she will be asked to accept more responsibilty?  It sounds like it.  Well, this is life as it REALLY is and we need to accept this and try to make arrangements and get on with life in a way that honors her father and mother. as the Bible commands us.  It is NOT always easy and no one ever said it would be.

One of the truths we learn  as we approach our fifties and sixties is that life is going to ask MORE of us; it isnt always fair,  and we wont always have much warning or find easy answers.  I know, I have been there.   And so have many others here.  

 Anyone can  smile and maintain their faith when times are good.  It is when things really go bad that we find what we are REALLY  made of.  Sunny Day Faith is easy to have but not worth much when the chips are down.

Most of us  try to do our best.   Somehow we muddle through and can go to our own graves with peace of mind for the way  we  handled  the tough times.

All of you are in my prayers.  I know you will all find strength and comfort and that your SIL will also come out of this a wiser person.