Out of circulation ...

[Martorious]

Birol, I am so sorry for your troubles.  As a fellow father I know the hardest part of the entire process is losing contact with your kids, for any reason.  
 
Our prayers go with you.

[birol]

I can't still believe that this happening. But you know what, I will crawl right through the trouble and will arrive alive on the other side. Last night in my dream I was  in a room, which looked like home. For the first time in my life I opened my eyes and found myself somewhere else and had the shock of my life.

From being in familiar surroundings, here I was sleeping on a couch. Nope, no tears this time. Just determination to go through with all the .... life threw on my way. Even if I loose my children, they will know the truth and they will not forget me, they are going to be 18 before I know it and hopefully contact me again. I will still be alive and have to keep surviving and try to help my children have a good future.

[birol]

Thanks man,

I am afraid  we will not be able to do that anituqe camper thing very soon. My apoligies, but once I am back on my feet You bet we will schedule it ! That is if I do not geta  criminal record and can still visit USA. that would be the worst part ....

Birol, I am so sorry for your troubles.  As a fellow father I know the hardest part of the entire process is losing contact with your kids, for any reason.  
 
Our prayers go with you.

[Starryart]

I can't still believe that this happening. But you know what, I will crawl right through the trouble and will arrive alive on the other side. Last night in my dream I was  in a room, which looked like home. For the first time in my life I opened my eyes and found myself somewhere else and had the shock of my life.

From being in familiar surroundings, here I was sleeping on a couch. Nope, no tears this time. Just determination to go through with all the .... life threw on my way. Even if I loose my children, they will know the truth and they will not forget me, they are going to be 18 before I know it and hopefully contact me again. I will still be alive and have to keep surviving and try to help my children have a good future.

Birol, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I too will pray for you. I admire your determination to  pull yourself through this. Your kids still need their Dad, and everyone here will agree, that you are a great guy and deserve your own happiness. Don't let her drag you down. You have a lot at stake so keep your head up and strive to come out on top, hard as it may be. Lean on your friends, they will help you.

[Martorious]

Thanks man,
 
I am afraid we will not be able to do that anituqe camper thing very soon. My apoligies, but once I am back on my feet You bet we will schedule it ! That is if I do not geta criminal record and can still visit USA. that would be the worst part ....

I have all the time in the world, you take care of business, the cg will wait for you.  As far as your potential criminal record, don't get down about the possibility.  It has gotten so bad for domestic violence cases that police departments have a policy to err on the side of caution.  Most if not all departments these days have policies that demand an arrest of the 'agressor' and usually all they have is your word against hers.  Unfortunately that doesn't leave the officers any leeway to make judgement calls.  Even if they believed that she was lying, they couldn't take that chance.  Luckily an arrest is NOT a conviction.  You'll get your day in court, just make sure you've got a lawyer who knows his stuff and try to get plenty of character witnesses.  Especially the DS if the court will allow it.  He's old enough that the court should give weight to what he says about the situation in the household and to your nature and caring.  I work at a police department and have seen many lying spouses and know that most of the time the court system can sniff the lies out (unless the judge is discriminatory towards husbands, disgusting :mad: I know, but it can happen.)  
 
So keep your chin up, we're all praying for you.:-()

[Gone-Camping]

Birol...sad to hear this, but I'm sure you'll pull through it. It's a very difficult situation to be sure, I know, I've been down this road before. Eventually it will all come to a head, and then you'll be able to look back and laugh at the good times, and shrug off the bad times. As far as criminal records go, I'm assuming in Canada it's not much different than here, it doesn't count unless you got a conviction to go along with it...and sounds like they don't have much on you at this point.

The kids will follow if it's in their hearts, but keep in mind the problem is between you and Babette, don't expect them to take sides as all they will really want is for everything to go back to being normal. One thing I'd request of the lawyer though, would be to put some kind of restraining order on her to prevent her from taking the kids out of the country without due process!!! Your son probably wouldn't go, but your daughter could stick with her Mom, especially if she isn't being given the choice!

Good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

[aw738]

One thing I'd request of the lawyer though, would be to put some kind of restraining order on her to prevent her from taking the kids out of the country without due process!!!

I second what Gone-Camping said here. I know of a case in the town that I work in of this happening. The parent that took the child out of the country go away scott free.

[brainpause]

Birol, we will be praying for you and your situation. Know that your PUT family is here for you.

Larry

[iwantapopup]

Birol,

I'm so sorry to hear of your horrible mess.  I'm still going through what I imagine will be a messy divorce and still can't believe the jerk my husband turned into and what this has done to our family.  I'm much luckier than you because we did not have any children together.

A few months down the line and we have a place to live.  I still have to pay for it but a friend really helped me out.  I still have to come up with money for legal fees which I don't have right now so I know what some of this is like for you.

Keep your faith, that's the most important thing.  I really did turn things over to God, as hard as it was for me to do.  If you let it get to you and bring you down, it can smother you and you need to be strong and clear thinking through all of this.  I'm not overally religious or anything but so far God has taken care of me and I mean we were looking a having to go to a homeless shelter so I know what I am saying!

Keep fighting and believing; I'll be praying for your family.

Linda

[debbiedee1957]

Unfortunately life just got tougher for you Birol.  From one who has walked the path may I just say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but it takes awhile to appear.  Hang in there.

Wishing you & your children the best-

[birol]

Every day is a new bad surprise ......life is no more fun, all I see is the mud on and the grey skies.

[Miss-Teri]

Birol, Can you sue her for defamation (sp) of character?  Or even threaten to sue for it and recover pain and suffering?  I'm wondering if she might back off with the threat, even if it wouldn't be possible to actually do.

(((HUGS))), Birol.  We all care about you.  Try to keep your chin up.  Hold on to the thought of the kids coming to live with you some day.  I will keep you in my prayers.

Oh, and be really careful what you say here.  She can easily find the site and can use anything you say.

[birol]

I have nothing to hide, but, I am being careful , thanks for the advise ...this board is my moral support .......I have two lawyers who will hopefully make sense of this mess and see to it that I can walk with pride once again.

She knows this board, if she did not subscribe, I would be very surprised.

Oh, and be really careful what you say here.  She can easily find the site and can use anything you say.

[deniski]

I'm so sorry this is all happening to you and your kids and even your wife!!!  
Divorce is miserable for everybody involved (except maybe the lawyers...).

Sounds like you have taken a good step and got some legal help, the only other thing I would add to what everyone else has said is to try to keep from expressing your anger against your wife when your kids are present.  And I'm thinking they WILL be present at some point here.  

That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do when I was divorced, but I made SURE that my son knew that both myself and his dad LOVED him and that he had NOTHING WHAT SO EVER to do with the divorce.  The divorce was strictly between me and his dad and would NEVER change the fact that he was loved by both of us. I never said anything bad about his dad in his presence, or to anyone but my closest friends.   It doesn't MATTER whether or not your wife supports that same message.... it's just SUPER important that your children know where YOU are coming from.

And yes, you and your family are all in my prayers!!!  Know that this difficult time will pass, you will survive and you will see your kids again and have the opportunity for a good relationship with them.  It's just a matter of time!!

[MommaMia]

I have two lawyers who will hopefully make sense of this mess and see to it that I can walk with pride once again.

Birol, you can walk with pride NOW!!

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." Helen Keller