The Elephant In the Living Room

[MommaMia]

However, the descriptions of what are involved in the legal end with 3 lawyers, etc., makes one wonder

About this, I think it's important to remember that Birol is in Canada and legal issues are likely handled differently from what happens here in the States.  He may be required to have 3 different lawyers, whick I think is the case.  One for criminal processes, one for divorce and one for child custody issues.



Too bad Birol isn't here anymore to be able to clear things up for himself.  

In the future, I'll be relaying any well wishes to him.

[chasd60]

About this, I think it's important to remember that Birol is in Canada and legal issues are likely handled differently from what happens here in the States. He may be required to have 3 different lawyers, whick I think is the case. One for criminal processes, one for divorce and one for child custody issues.
 
 
 
  Too bad Birol isn't here anymore to be able to clear things up for himself.  
 
  In the future, I'll be relaying any well wishes to him.

I'll do the same for Lee as he and Birol are now both banned from the board.

[dee106]

i'm still trying to figure out why bear-bait got banned! did someone delete a post where Lee attacked birol? or accused him of lying? because i can't find it.
 
reading the posts tonight, some say birols lacks the command of the english language, yet he wrote, and used words that most would of us wouldn't of. So if nothing else by him being a member of this board he has majorly improved his writing skills!
 
i think banning them was not the way to go, i think dave should of spoke to them first.

[angelsmom10]

I will be honest- I for one wonder just "why" Birol was in jail. People are not put & kept for quite afew days in jail for "nothing".
......
QUOTE]
 
This post is not to start anything nor am I trying to say anything bad, things and and do happen that can cause the being jailed for no reason.
 
I don't know all of Birol's story, but I can relate a little to his situation.
 
My "X" walked out with our 2yr.. he went to my parents and told BIG lies (including that he heard me planning on kidnapping our DD, along with other things).  They in turn went to the police and had them watching me for several weeks and if I traveled anywhere toward that direction, I would be arrested and jailed.. no questions asked as I was a threat.  Not to get into any other things, it did get very nasty... the situation finally starting to get clearer to my family after 4-5yrs of termoil.  My DF & DM and I finally started to clear the air and they finally listened to my side and mine made more sense as they were clearly finding out my "X" was a BIG LIAR.  (as a side note.. 1 month later my DF committed suicide and I feel mostly because of this).
 
Some people don't have anyone they can talk to and have found a family here at the board that they do not have to turn to (ME INCLUDED).  They come to air and ask for support whether it be by prayers to just to "talk".  If I don't like the post, I just ignore it.  If I have something to add, I'll post, I don't post my prayers for everyone, but I do pray and hope the best whether it be illness, job loss (which my DH has been unemployed since May 2003), or whatever.  IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE SOMEONE'S SUBJECT.... DON'T READ IT... LEAVE THEM ALONE... If no one is interested. the subject will get dropped to the bottom of the list by other topics.  The "camfire" is off subject topics that you would sit around the campfire and talk about, when you camp and someone you haven't seen in a while is there, eventually the subject comes up about what's been happening in each other's life.. this is what Birol did along with others here.
 
THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY.
 
Let's all camp!!!!:tent: :!

[Miss-Teri]

I agree with Nancy.  Also, since "the other side of this story" has access to this board, it would not be in Birol's best interest to tell us every detail.  It would actually be in his best interest to leave most of it out, and most of what I'm seeing is people saying it all sounds "fishy" because they aren't getting detailed answers.  Wouldn't it be smart to NOT give detailed answers on a public forum?

Accusations made because you aren't sure about something are wrong.  The tables can turn and it can be you on that side of the issue.  There's nothing wrong with not believing something yourself, but until you have the entire story I don't believe you should start pointing fingers.  These are people's LIVES we're talking about.  

I started getting e-mails from an old member about 2 years ago, telling me I am ugly and fat (can't remember what off-the-wall thread that resulted from).  I thought they were humorous because it was so juvenile and because I'm not overweight.  BUT imagine if I was a depressed, overweight person and that put me over the edge and I ended up putting a gun to my head.  It can happen.  I've always wanted to say that on these boards - that words CAN hurt someone and you SHOULD be careful how you use them.  How would you feel if you posted an accusation or belittled someone and found out they had committed suicide that day?  Sure, you could say they were unstable and would have done it anyway.  Whatever eases your conscience.  I repeat, these are people's LIVES we're talking about.

As far as the deleted threads/posts, yes, you had to see them and see the timing of everything.  I have zero doubt in my mind that those posts were aimed at Birol.  

I will continue to pray for Birol and for anyone else here needing Divine interference.  We are a family here.  And just like a real family, we don't know everything about everyone and secrets can be kept.  Most likely they will eventually surface, but until that time we have NO CHOICE but to take it at face value, or we should keep our mouths shut.

[campingboaters]

This is such a sad day for me -- finding out that bearbait and birol were banned from the boards because of all that happened yesterday.  I just feel so bad for Birol because I know what he's going through right now with his soon-to-be ex wife and kids (I have a friend going through a similar situation).  He needed us to lean on in his trying times at home and now PUT was ripped away from him too.  I can't imagine this man has much else to lose at this point in his life.  I just hope he keeps his chin up and fights for his rights with his house and kids.  If anyone keeps in touch with him, please let him know that he is in my thoughts and I look forward to the day when he is reunited with his kids.

[jpreiser]

Sorry to hear that they had to go...

But as my mom always said "if you cant play nice then you will be punished!!"

They are both adults and are accountable for their own actions on or off the boards...

[vjm1639]

I feel awful that they are banned too. ...and I agreee with Natcha...I've been through the divorce process and financial hardships and know how nice it would have been to have had someone to talk to that really wasn't that close to the situation... I hope this doesn't make things worse for Birol..

[SkipP]

This is such a sad day for me -- finding out that bearbait and birol were banned from the boards because of all that happened yesterday. I just feel so bad for Birol because I know what he's going through right now with his soon-to-be ex wife and kids (I have a friend going through a similar situation). He needed us to lean on in his trying times at home and now PUT was ripped away from him too. I can't imagine this man has much else to lose at this point in his life. I just hope he keeps his chin up and fights for his rights with his house and kids. If anyone keeps in touch with him, please let him know that he is in my thoughts and I look forward to the day when he is reunited with his kids.

It doesn't have to be that way at all! There are plenty of other avenues to communicate with Birol.... Chat Groups, email or someone could even start a group on Yahoo, MSN something like that. One of his friends could easily set this up. He could then get the support without the turmoil.

[Acts 2:38 girl]

I'll do the same for Lee as he and Birol are now both banned from the board

What??!!
 
 
When did Lee get banned from the board, and why?  We talked about his comments last night and he was just being goofy.  (Not to hard for some of us! )  I think you must be mistaken, at least I hope so!

[Firefyter-Emt]

Testing 1 - 2- 3  ....

[Acts 2:38 girl]

Nope - he's good!  I got a little worried!

[NightOwl]

No, Andi, it  wasnt the real Lee  i.e.--your real Lee that was banned, it was the other one, but dont worry, the other lee will soon be back  still adding his bit  to liven things up around here.

[brainpause]

COMMENT ON BEHALF OF THE MODERATORS (WITHOUT HAVING CONSULTED WITH THEM):

We all got many "Reported Post" emails, personal emails, and Dave got phone calls about the turmoil.

What everyone needs to realize is that your request might not be honored, at least not immediately. We are trying to do the right thing on certain threads and posts, and by deleting certain things, it will make some people happy, others not.

Please understand that we do try to do the right thing, and sometimes not as soon as we should. But we are trying.

**********************
COMMENT FROM LARRY THE MEMBER (NOT LARRY THE MODERATOR):

I have personally met Birol, his kids, and have camped with him. I hate to see/hear all that is (supposedly) happening to him. As Chasd60 brought out, some of it is very suspicious, especially since we only know one side of the story. However, I still believe that Birol is having problems of some kind. Bottom line.

But I don't see anything necessarily pathological.

If Birol wants advice or support, give it to him. If you don't have good advice or support, go browse around another thread.

Larry