Had to Post This

[TheViking]

Saw this and had to post it.  I'll deal with the fallout when I get home.

 
 

[Kelly]

What fallout?

Looks pretty accurate to me.        :p [/FONT]

[tlhdoc]

Looks accurate to me too.  That on off switch for the man, is the beer button isn't it?

[brainpause]

Roflmbo

[AustinBoston]

I see none of the adjustments are labeled...so you can't ever predict what controls what.

I think that's why men don't need instruction manuals.  If they can figure out half the adjustments for Woman, they don't need instructions to launch the space shuttle...it's less complicated.

Buy her flowers, she's thrilled.  Give her a back rub, "Don't touch me!"
Get home early, "We have no money."
Work late, "Is he having an affair?"
Get home at an ordinary time, "We have no money because you're having an affair."

Hey guys, if any of you get it figured out, don't tell anyone, because there will be a line of men trying to steal her from you.

Austin

[Dee4j]

hhmmmm....I thinking...naw I'm leaving this alone...Kelly right there with ya sister  

[GrizzlyTaco]

I'll AGREE with that!! I just wont show my wife!! :sombraro:  :Z

[wkndarcher]

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________


LONGEVITY!

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

[griffsmom]

I think mine has a few more knobs, buttons and thingamobobs on it than the one you posted, Brian.  Poor Dave.

[zamboni]

OK, in keeping with the theme of this thread...

[zamboni]

Continuing right along...

[zamboni]

Saw this and had to post it.  I'll deal with the fallout when I get home.

Different version of the one I got many years ago...

[TheViking]

LMAO !!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 

OK, in keeping with the theme of this thread...
 
 
 
 
 

[wavery]

[zamboni]

Modern Math