After Christmas

[campingcop]

Subject: Twas the Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an over sized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!

To the top of your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"

[AustinBoston]

Christmas Bills
(Sing to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Christmas Bills, Christmas Bills
Piled On The Floor
Everyday The Mailman Comes To Bring A Dozen More
Oh, Christmas Bills, Christmas Bills
How The Stores Will Swear
When They Soon Discover That
My Bank Account Is Bare

Dashing Of The Checks
All In Great Amounts
Mailing Them Today
Knowing They Will Bounce
Bill Collectors Come
Notify My Boss
Now They Get My Salary
My Life's A Total Loss

Oh, Christmas Bills, Christmas Bills
Making Me Lament
Now I'm Up Against The Walls
From All Those Gifts I've Spent

Oh, Christmas Bills, Christmas Bills
I'll Go Broke And Then
When Next Christmas Comes Around
I'll Do It All Again

Austin

[GrizzlyTaco]

I Love them both!!! HaHa   Thanks for the Laugh!!!