A Joke Thread

[Russinator]

[Russinator]

"What does love mean"

A group of professional peopl e posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."


Rebecca- age 8


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."


Billy - age 4


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."


Karl - age 5


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6


"Love is

what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."


Danny - age 7


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"



Emily - age 8


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

(We need a few million more Nikka's on

this planet)


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."


Cindy - age 8


"My mommy loves me more than anybody .

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."



Clare - age 6


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."


Elaine-age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."


Chris - age 7


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."



Mary Ann - age 4


"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."


Lauren - age 4


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)

Karen - age 7


"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."


Jessica - age 8


And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring

child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

[Russinator]

[Russinator]

[Russinator]

[Russinator]

[Russinator]

This isn't a joke, but, I didn't know where else to post it. Or, even if I should post it. I checked with Truth or Fiction to see if it's a hoax or not.

Click on each picture to see it larger--if you want.  Russ


The World's First All-glass Undersea Restaurant Opens

The Maldives 15 April marks the day that the first ever all-glass undersea restaurant in the world opens its doors for business at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa.

It will sit five meters below the waves of the Indian Ocean, surrounded by a vibrant coral reef and encased in clear acrylic offering diners 270-degrees of panoramic underwater views.

"We have used aquarium technology to put diners face-to-face with the stunning underwater environment of the Maldives", says Carsten Schieck, General Manager of Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa. "Our guests always comment on being blown away by the colour, clarity, and beauty of the underwater world in the Maldives, so it seemed the perfect idea to build a restaurant where diners can experience fine cuisine and take time to enjoy the views - without ever getting their feet wet."

Created by MJ Murphy Ltd, a design consultancy based in New Zealand, It's distinctive feature is the use of curved transparent acrylic walls and roof, similar to those used in aquarium attractions. "The fact that the entire restaurant except for the floor is made of clear acrylic makes this unique in the world," continues Schieck, "We are currently planting a coral garden on the reef to add to the spectacular views of the rays, sharks and many colourful fish that live around the area.

[Russinator]

Possible sayings for the backs of T-Shirts

[AustinBoston]

This doesn't need to be a possible design; we bought one for DD#2, she wears it frequently, and everyone knows it applies.

Austin

[Russinator]

Austin, I need two. One for me and one for my wife.

Russ

[AustinBoston]

Austin, I need two. One for me and one for my wife.

Russ

No you THINK you need two...hers will really say "I'm with Confused ===>>"

Austin

[Russinator]

Austin, you made me laugh with your reply. I don't remember meeting you, however, it sounds like we've meet before because you understand my ways.  

Russ
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It seems this very attractive gal is standing on a crowded bus as it makes its way down the street. She looks at this fellow sitting in a seat and says "Hey, mister, don't you give your seat to a pregnant lady?

The guy immediately gets up and says "Sorry, Miss. Please take my seat." Which she promptly does. The guy keeps looking at the woman in a puzzled manner, and finally asks, "Miss, you don't look pregnant. How long have you been pregnant?"

She looks up at him and says, stretching her arms, "Oh,about fifteen minutes ago, and I'm so tired."

[Russinator]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.


Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take This the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

(Don't ya love military time?!)

[Russinator]

To see the pictures full size, click on each one - Russ

[Russinator]

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

--Rod Stewart