RE: Sign in My Front Yard

[Miss-Teri]

 RamblingWreck
We got an ingenious Tom Sawyer mentality right here on PopUp Times!   Time for me to go out and whitewash my popup...

[RamblingWreck]

 NightOwl

ORIGINAL:  NightOwl
 
 Wreck, museums  offer a lot of neat and VERY interesting statues you might copy (a la ice carnival sculpture).  Just two which come quickly to mind are " The Venus De Milo"  and Miichaelangel s " David" .  They would certainly attract a lot of attention--especially if done in living color. [8D][] (MUCH MORE THAN PENGUINS I guaroneteee! )
 
  (Be careful, though--if your city fathers arent pretty open-minded, such art could also get you free room and board at the local jail.) []
 
 (And then there are also  the complications offered by " the goosepimple factor." [])
 

 Those statues are famous because they were created by talented people.  Artistic talent is not my bag.  What I need is to attract talented people to come to my place a scuplt.  Some sort of contest?  
 
 Need some creatative ideas for prizes that won t cost me any money.  Perhaps a photo of winning scuplture on the cover of " Popup Times" ?  After all, what starving artist doesn t need a little publicity to get their career going?  Contest rules must stipulate that you take your scuplture with you.
 
 Rambling Wreck
 

[AustinBoston]

 RamblingWreck
Now let s put the brakes on for a minute.  As soon as you start selling the snow, (whether it is in the form of raw snow, a snowman, a forgery of some famous sculpture, or no longer solid snow) it becomes a consumer product.  As such, consumer product safety and liability laws may apply.
 
 I would suggest consulting with a product liability lawyer before marketing your excess snow.  If not, someone will claim they were injured (or a loved one was killed) because you knowingly sold them defective or dangerous snow.  Just imagine the claims...
 " I didn t know his snow was cold, and I got frostbite!  He should have told me!"
 " My house burned down becasue a fire started when I put his snow in the toaster."
 " The snow partly melted in the driveway, and I was injured on the slippery ice that resulted."
 
 At the very least, the lawyer will be able to help you draw up instructions on the safe handling and use of snow, and of the possible risks and hazards of abusing or misusing snow.
 
 Personally, I would not sell snow to an eskimo without a lawyer.
 
 Austin
 
 PS...you probably need to draw up and ship MSDS sheets to go with your snow.

[RamblingWreck]

 AustinBoston
[]Hey Austin,
 
 Do you know what they call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 A good start!
 
 Rambling Wreck

[NightOwl]

 AustinBoston

 

ORIGINAL:  AustinBoston
 
 Now let s put the brakes on for a minute.  As soon as you start selling the snow, (whether it is in the form of raw snow, a snowman, a forgery of some famous sculpture, or no longer solid snow) it becomes a consumer product.  As such, consumer product safety and liability laws may apply.
 
 I would suggest consulting with a product liability lawyer before marketing your excess snow.  If not, someone will claim they were injured (or a loved one was killed) because you knowingly sold them defective or dangerous snow.  Just imagine the claims...
 " I didn t know his snow was cold, and I got frostbite!  He should have told me!"
 " My house burned down becasue a fire started when I put his snow in the toaster."
 " The snow partly melted in the driveway, and I was injured on the slippery ice that resulted."
 
 At the very least, the lawyer will be able to help you draw up instructions on the safe handling and use of snow, and of the possible risks and hazards of abusing or misusing snow.
 
 Personally, I would not sell snow to an eskimo without a lawyer.
 
 Austin
 
 PS...you probably need to draw up and ship MSDS sheets to go with your snow.
 

 
 I bet none of the members here will EVER   let their kids have a sidewalk lemonade stand after reading  what Tom wrote about the dangers of selling snow.[&:]  geeze, I can see it now: " my kid fractured his tonsil on a lemon seed in your product--we re suing for 10 million "

[RamblingWreck]

 RamblingWreck
How are they doing for snow out in the Rocky Mountain states this year?  If Colorado is running a little short, please tell the Coors beer company they can replish their stockat my place.  Snow shovel is already on the front lawn, they only need to provide their own labor and trucks.
 
 Rambling Wreck

[NightOwl]

 RamblingWreck
Let s toast  to our good friend Ramblin Wreck
 He looked at his yard and said " What The heck,
 There s way too much snow
 It really must go!
 IT S FOR SALE BY THE BUSHEL OR PECK!"

[RamblingWreck]

 RamblingWreck
Dear Iditarod Race Organizers,
 
 I just got the bad news that you have had to re-route this year s race twice due to lack of snow.  Have I got a deal for you!  We have an over abundance of snow here in the northeast.  In my front yard, you will find a snow shovel.  All you need to do is provide your own labor and transport.  You can have all my snow free of charge.
 
 Luckily for you, the Coors Bear company recently refused a similar offer and my product is still available.  Their decision to decline is still a mystery to me, I was even willing to repurchase the product at retail in their 12 oz. aluminum cans.
 
 As the start date for your race is drawing near, I hope to hear from you soon.
 
 Sincerely,
 
 
 

[cavman]

 RamblingWreck
Dear RamblingWreck,
 
 At the close of the route planning meeting this evening, one of the assistants brought your offer to our attention.  After twice re-routing the race and considering the possibility of insufficient snow in the near future, we discussed the possibility of making a third and final change to the route.
 
 Rather than having the race along the Western portion of North America, we have decided to measure the distance which would have been traveled from start to finish.  This would provide the planners with the required kilometers which would have to be traveled by each contestant and their dog teams.  However, we must have a response to some questions prior to the official notification of the acceptance of your offer.
 
 1.  Is your front yard sufficiently large enough to support the construction of an oval track or would we need to utilize both side yards and the back yard as well?
 
 2.  Do you have adequate depth of snow cover to maintain a solid base for the duration of the race?
 
 3.  Is there sufficient room for tents, campfires, sleds, dogs, race officials, media and spectators without interferring with the race?
 
 4.  Will the cleanup of waste deposits from the dogs be regulated or can it be left for the spring thaw as fertilizer?
 
 5.  Will there be sufficient bathroom facilities at your house or should we plan for alternate bushes and temporary trees for those attending the race?
 
 6.  Will you be willing to provide the water, power and sound systems for the race duration?
 
 7.  Do you have more than one shovel for the construction of the race oval or should we plan for a bulldozer backup?
 
 8.  How wide is your street?  (We will have 14 satellite broadcast trucks covering the race from beginning to end.)
 
 9.  Do you rise early to start your day?  (We begin racing preparation at 4:30 A.M. which will last between 3 and 4 weeks and pre-race must be made at this time to insure that all contestants get the same information at the same time.)
 
 10.  Now the final question.... Do you want to remove your offer, take down your sign and put your shovel away?
 
 Thanks you for your response.
 
 The Iditarod Planning Committee

[Miller Tyme]

 RamblingWreck
My only question-
 Is Coors willing to sponsor?[]
 Sincerely,
 A lifetime Miller drinker.[]

[NightOwl]

 RamblingWreck
We ve had some good stuff at PUT through the years but I dont think I have EVER read anything funnier or cleverer or better put-together than the above post from Cavman.  I have not only read it now about three times (laughing more each time) but have shared  this thread with four non-camping  friends who are intelligent and informed enough to truly appreciate this gift of humor begun so well by RW and continued so marvelously by Cavman and some of the others!![][][]

[RamblingWreck]

 cavman
Dear Iditarod Planning Comittee,
 
 I must say we spent a sleepless night.  You might think we were kept awake thinking of the huge profit potential of moving your race eastward.  After all, 25% of this country s population lives in the corridor between Washington DC and Boston, MA.  We could bring them the race live in real time!
 
 The technology to do so is already right here.  Our Starcraft dealer s lot, Redman s Trailer Sales, in Bristol,CT is practically on top of the ESPN facility and all its satallite dishes.  The other details you inquired about can all be worked out.  This is a small community which would welcome the income your race would bring.
 
 Others might assume that our sleep was disrupted as a result of our joy of having purchased a new Centennial 3600 at Redman s yesterday.  I must admit we are are extremely excited.
 
 However, the real reason no one slept is our German Shorthaired Pointer, Ginger.  It seems she has come in season about two months earlier than expected.  She is vocally expressing her desire to procreate to all those dogs up wind of her pheromone signals.
 
 Unless the organizers can develop a plan which will ensure Ginger s chastity, I m afraid we will have to decline your generous offer.  Keep in mind she is most determined.
 
 Sincerely,

[NightOwl]

 RamblingWreck
Wreck, you are a KEEPER, too!! WHAT A THREAD![][8D][]
 
 I understand your grave concerns about Ginger s morals (abstinance being on the rise at last in our fair land![])   However, there may be an opportunity for profit here which you are misssing in your desire to act as Ginger s " duenna"  
 
 If she could produce a good-sized litter of  Husky-mix puppies, you might be able then to assemble your own home-grown Iditarod team and compete successfully in the race.  I am sure Dave would find it very attractive to sponsor the team and have the PUT logo  spread worldwide amongst sports enthusiasts.
 
 And perhaps with some well-chosen modifications, and carefully placed runners, you could enter the Centennial as your vehicle of choice.  You would SURELY win if you did that--just a quick stop and there are all the comforts of home just behind the last dog on the team.  I think you are on to something here!

[topcat7736]

 RamblingWreck
We ve finally rid ouselves of the snow in front of our apartment. Used the sign idea, but changed the wording to: " Due to a shortage in our supply lines, please limit youself to only 4 shovelfuls of our snow" . Caused a feeding frenzy & the stuff went faster than a vegetable leaving my mouth. [][][&:]

[cavman]

 RamblingWreck
Dear Mr. Rwreck,
 
 Since the time is running short and Spring is near at hand, we have considered your response of passing the race off to your Starcraft dealer in Bristol, CT.  This effectively removes the snow, sign and shovel originally offered by you to the Iditarod racers at your local residence. Since there was no charge for the snow or use of the shovel, consideration of re-location for the race was a viable alternative.  Now with the re-location, unexpected charges will require the committee to revert to the original race date and secondary routing.
 
 However, for your information and in consideration of the concern you expressed for Gingers chastity; the committee was going to present the following remedies:
 
  1.  Re-locate your Starcraft Centennial 3600 to a neighboring state for the               duration of the race for her comfort and temporary residence.
 
  2.  Rent Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin movies/DVDs for entertainment.
 
  3.  Down feed the ?Animal Planet? channel on cable for re-runs of the               Westminster Dog Show and Emergency Vets.
 
  4.  Have the temporary re-location be sponsored by Pedigree Pet Foods to                 provide a proper diet with a variety of flavors.
 
  5.  In order for Ginger to be properly and expertly cared for during this         absence, a personal trainer would accompany the trip for exercise, personal        care and medical assistance (if needed).
 
  Understanding your attachment to Ginger, and as an alternative to the separation from the family, a semi-truck load of diapers and a boxcar load ?Frebreeze? would have been a small price for a guaranteed race location with sufficient snow.
 
 The Committee would like to express their thanks for your original offer but consider the re-location to Bristol unacceptable and will remain on the Western coast of North America.                  
 
 Sincerely
 
 The Iditarod Planning Committee