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RE: Things you d love to say at work...

Started by JemJen24, Apr 16, 2003, 08:19 PM

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griffsmom

Sep 28, 2003, 07:05 PM

JemJen24

#1
Apr 16, 2003, 08:19 PM
 griffsmom1.  Bite me
 2.  F**k off
 3.  WHATEVER!
 4.  I m smarter than you, so shut up and listen
 5.  Get over yourself!
 
 
 and my number one...
 
 I M TAKING A PAID SICK DAY TO GO CAMPING AND YOU CANT STOP ME!

griffsmom

#2
Apr 16, 2003, 08:22 PM
 griffsmomJemJen,
 
 Yikes, girl!  We may need to get you a new job![:o]  
 
 (click on the words " but can t"  in my original post)

campingboaters

#3
Apr 17, 2003, 08:19 AM
 griffsmomDear Employees:
 
 It has been brought to management s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
 
 Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
 
 Therefore, a list of " TRY SAYING"  new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
 
 
 
 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
 INSTEAD OF: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
 >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I m certain that isn t feasible.
 INSTEAD OF: No f***ing way.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: Really?
 INSTEAD OF: You ve got to be s***ting me!
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
 INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a s***.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I wasn t involved in the project.
 INSTEAD OF: It s not my f***ing problem.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: That s interesting.
 INSTEAD OF: What the f***?
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I m not sure this can be implemented.
 INSTEAD OF: This s*** won t work.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I ll try to schedule that.
 INSTEAD OF: Why the he!! didn t you tell me sooner?
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: He s not familiar with the issues.
 INSTEAD OF: He s got his head up his a$$.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
 INSTEAD OF: Eat s*** and die.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: So you weren t happy with it?
 INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a$$.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I m a bit overloaded at the moment.
 INSTEAD OF: F*** it, I m on salary.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I don t think you understand.
 INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a$$.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
 INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
 INSTEAD OF: Who the he!! died and made you boss?
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I see.
 INSTEAD OF: Bite me.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: He s somewhat insensitive.
 INSTEAD OF: He s a pr*ck.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: She s an aggressive go-getter.
 INSTEAD OF: She s a ball-busting b*tch.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
 INSTEAD OF: You don t know what the f*** you re doing.
 
 
 Thank You, Human Resources
 
 I hope that wasn t too offensive, but I ve used some of the more appropriate terms and knowing what I really mean gives me a good chuckle inside!
 

Ab Diver

#4
Apr 17, 2003, 08:55 AM
 campingboatersNatacha-  Now THAT was funny. I can picture a " Dilbert"  cartoon to go with every one of those.[:)][:D][;)]

Kelly

#5
Apr 17, 2003, 10:56 AM
 Ab Diver
QuoteORIGINAL:  Ab Diver
 
 Natacha-  Now THAT was funny. I can picture a " Dilbert"  cartoon to go with every one of those.[:)][:D][;)]
 

 
 [font=" comic sans ms" ]A " Dilbert"  cartoon??  NO WAY!!!
 I can picture a co-worker to go with every one!!   [&:][/font]

garym053

#6
Apr 17, 2003, 12:17 PM
 griffsmomThe one I d MOST LIKE to say is:
 " I just won Powerball, I m retiring and going campin FULL TIME!"

gsm x2

#7
Apr 17, 2003, 12:53 PM
 griffsmom" I am sorry this job didn t meet your expectations. Don t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."
 
 gsm x2

AustinBoston

#8
Apr 17, 2003, 01:19 PM
 griffsmom" I QUIT!"
 
 Austin

birol

#9
Apr 17, 2003, 01:49 PM
 griffsmomI always want to say " You are so full of it" .
 
 I never said it but, most of the times my tone and looks says it, and Istill  wonder why I am never liked at work (when I work that is).

Acts 2:38 girl

#10
Apr 17, 2003, 02:28 PM
 griffsmom
QuoteI QUIT!"  
 
 Austin
 

 Actually I have said this in my " job"   Lee wasn t amused![;)]

mike4947

#11
Apr 17, 2003, 02:47 PM
 griffsmom[highjack mode on/]For AB Driver and everyone else, spend sometime here: http://www.dilbert.com/  and go through a few of the daily lists. Time well spent, especially if your cow-orkers are like most.
 One year we copied all the Dilbert cartoons that Scott Adams did on " interns/coops"  and gave them to each new intern we got from local colleges just so they d know their place in the company. [;)][:D]
 
 PS: Comedy Central channel is runnig old & new Dilbert programs latenight.
 Also be sure to join the Dogbert revolution. Cow-orkers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your pointy haired bosses!
 [highjack mode off/]

jjmom

#12
Apr 17, 2003, 03:27 PM
 griffsmomI Quit   I Quit     I Quit    I Quit

GeneF

#13
Apr 17, 2003, 04:03 PM
 griffsmomI am retireing.
 
  I couldn t say that for 29 years.[:)]
 
 (Effective June 18)

campingcop

#14
Apr 17, 2003, 06:32 PM
 griffsmomHere s a quarter,call some one who gives a sh*t[:@]
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