RE: FICTION: Dear Abby

[AustinBoston]

 In order to get more action on the board, I thought I d try writing some fiction from time to time to get some reactions.
 
 Austin
 
 WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS FICTION, NOT TRUE, MADE UP!
 
 
 
 Dear Abby,
   My husband, three kids, and I like to go camping.  We enjoy the solitude and getting away from his family that is sometimes a bit pushy.  They tend to pry into our business all the time.  They have always left us alone when we camp because we go too far for a day drive, and they can t imagine sleeping on the ground.
   Recently, that all changed.  His brother and sister-in-law bought a pop-up camper.  Now they and their five kids (three from previous marriages) and their three dogs follow us on every trip.  Abby, they follow us everywhere!  We tried going to a very remote location, but that didn t stop them.  They just brought drinking water and a huge battery with them and drank (yes, even their two older teens drink) and played loud music until 2 AM.  They were always in our site and wated to have dinner with us.
   We can t sneak off without them knowing because my husband works with his brother so they know each other s work schedule.  Besides, his sister moved into an appartment across the street, so she knows when we are packing the car for camping, and calls to tell everyone.  Before we know it, that camping trailer is at the end of the driveway, ready to follow us.
   Abby, I am about to go out of my mind.  There is always a member of his family showing up at dinner, or coming over while the kids are getting ready for school, or showing up at my job (I am a receptionist for a large local oil delivery company) and hanging out.  I was fired from my last job because his mother wouldn t leave me alone while I was working.
   Going camping was the only sane time we had.  What can we do to get rid of that pop-up?
 
 Please sign me
 Cold Hard Ground
 
 Dear Cold Hard,
   You need to explain your situation to your husband.  But please understand, you will enjoy your camping more if you get off that cold, hard ground.  Perhaps you and your husband should consider getting a pop-up yourselves.  Then you could get the sleep you need and not be so irtated about such loving, kind hearted, considerate relatives.
 
 _____
 
 Dear Abby,
   Last year, I wrote to you about relatives that followed us camping (Cold, Hard Ground).  You suggested that my husband and I should get a pop-up trailer.  Well, we took your advice, and now we coudn t be happier!  His brother and family still follow us, but because of our new pop-up, I just don t care!  Sometimes, we even invite them for dinner!
   Even the frequent visits from his mother are not so annoying.  I have been fired three more times, but I don t care, it just gives me more time to plan camping trips!
   Abby, your advice has changed our lives.  Thanks!  We think everyone should try pop-up camping!
 Warm, Soft Beds in the Heartland
 
 Dear Warm Soft,
   I m glad I could help.  Oh, and be sure to subscribe to Pop-Up Times, the only magazine for pop-up campers!
 
 Copyright ? 2003 by AustinBoston

[campingboaters]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 My husband loves to camp, and thinks he does a ton of things in preparation, but when I tried to figure out what he had done to prepare for the last trip, all I could come up with was that he put toilet paper in the camper. HOW do I get my husband to do more of the prep-work so I can relax a bit and enjoy camping too?
 Sincerely,
 Too pooped to pop[]
 
 Dear Too pooped,
 Before the next big trip, pretend you are too ill to camp.  []  Tell him to go camping without you.  As soon as he s done all the prep work, start feeling well enough to join him -- but too tired to actually do anything once you get to the campground too.  Maybe YOU could manage to put the toilet paper in the camper!  A little deception never hurt anyone.  []
 
 If you think this doesn t sound like Abby, it s because I m not Abby.  I m her EVIL step-sister that lives in a hybrid camper!  [:@]  I stuffed Abby in her closed pop-up and locked her in!  If she had a hybrid, she could at least have room to move around, not to mention escape from one of the windows!  HA-HA!  [&:]
 
 Copyright 2003 Campingboaters
 
 
 

[Gamecock Camper]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 All my mother and father want to do on the weekends is camp camp camp.  They bought a tent trailer two years ago and that s all we seem to do.  We don t go to hotels as much and I spend way too much time with my brothers.   The only things we do are to explore, hike, bike, eat, sit around the campfire and talk.  I only wish that other girls were so lucky to have parents like mine.
 
 Signed - Campfire Girl
 
 
 Dear Campfire Girl,
 
 It looks like you are lucky to have the family that you have.  Roast a marshmellow for me.
 
 Abby

[Gamecock Camper]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 Did Gamecock Camper really kill this thread?
 
 Confused in SC
 
 
 
 Dear Confused,
 
 No.
 
 Abby.

[whippetwrun]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 Ever since we bought our pop up, the house is dirtier, stuff is piled up everywhere - kitchen counters, the dining room table, even the floor in the living room all week long.  Then it always seems to disappear on Fridays when we are getting ready to head out for a weekend camping.  Come Monday, when we are back home, the piles are there again and so are the trails of dirt.  No matter how much I try to keep up the only time the house looks good is when we are camping.
 
 What should I do?
 
 Signed, Can t find the table to eat in MD
 
 PS the popup stays clean and in good order all the time.
 
 
 Dear Can t Find the table,
 
 If the popup stays clean, the answer should be obvious.  Sell the house, live in the popup and travel across the continent.
 
 Abby

[Gamecock Camper]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 My best friend s family is always gone on the weekends.  They have a pop-up camper that is also gone on the weekends.  Do you think that these two things are related?
 
 Signed,
 Friendless in Seattle
 
 
 Dear Friendless,
 
 I think you should do some spying.   Follow the camper and see if it ends up in the same place as your friend.   Don t forget to pack a sleeping bag.
 
 Abby

[Gamecock Camper]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 Are you sure... I mean are you really really really really sure that Gamecock Camper didn t kill this thread??
 
 Signed,
 
 Confused in SC
 
 
 Dear Confused,
 
 I said NO.  Are you happy now?
 
 Abby

[birol]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 I routinely contribute at a web based forum called PUT. One of my pet peeves is that I contribute too much, and people stop posting after I post. Am I a pest ?
 
 Signed
 
 Jobless pest contributer
 
 
 Dear Jobless pest contributer
 
 I think you should try harder to find a job, that would cure your posting problems and if you don t post, you can t be a pest.
 
 As for people not posting after you post, DON" T YOU GUYS KEEP BOTHERING ME ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, TELL THAT TO THAT GAMECOCK CAMPER TOO, YOU GUYS ARE JUST FINE !!!!!!
 
 Abby

[g-whiz]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 We bought a popup camper two years ago.  At first, camping once a month satisfied our camping urges.  Once back home, we could hardly wait until the next time we would camp.    Our overwhelming desire to camp grew so strong that we soon added another a weekend each month.   Even that wasn t enough.  We now camp every weekend.  We have tried to stop, but it is so hard when the weather and our new camping buddies tempts us at every turn.  Even our two week vacation was a full-on camping trip.  Getting back into a normal lifestyle after that has been impossible.  That s when we turned to calling in sick so we could extend our 2 day weekends into 4 days of camping.  Now we are only home about 4 days a month.  We have no friends in our neighborhood anymore and our families complain that they haven t seen us in over a year.   Do you think we have a problem?
 
 Signed:  Replacing Third Set of Tires
 
 Dear Replacing,
 
 Please answer yes or no to these 12 questions:
 
 1 - Have you ever decided to stop camping for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
 
 2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your camping?
 
 3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of RV to another in the hope that this would keep you from camping?
 
 4 - Have you had to pop up your camper upon awakening during the past year?
 
 5 - Do you envy people who can camp without getting into trouble?
 
 6 - Have you had problems connected with camping during the past year?
 
 7 - Has your camping caused trouble with your family?
 
 8 - Do you ever try to get " extra"  camping days in because you do not get enough?
 
 9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop camping any time you want to, even though you keep camping when you don t mean to?
 
 10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of camping?
 
 11 - Do you have " blackouts"  when not camping?
 
 12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not camp?
 
 Did you answer YES to any of these questions?  All of them??  If you did, you might want to check out Campers Anonymous.  Their 13 step program might be just what you and your family needs.  Your local group meets at Vail Lakes RV Resort, Chardonnay Mesa, June 6-8.  Check http://home.earthlink.net/~gsmx2/temeculamini/ for details.
 
 Abby
 
 
 

[Gamecock Camper]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 Am I really pestering you?  I was going camping, but this seems like more fun...
 
 Signed,
 
 Confused in SC
 
 
 Dear Confused,
 
 Don t you read my column?  (See below):
 
 

As for people not posting after you post, DON" T YOU GUYS KEEP BOTHERING ME ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, TELL THAT TO THAT GAMECOCK CAMPER TOO, YOU GUYS ARE JUST FINE !!!!!!
 

 Abby[/b]

[birol]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 I have a lot of serious problems which I can not solve. I don t even know where to start telling you all about them. Can you give me a call so that we can discuss all the issues I have in detail ? My number is 123-456-7890.
 
 Signed :
 
 Jobless pest contributer
 
 
 Dear Jobless pest contributer
 
 Thanks to you and Gamecock Camper, dear abby had a nervous breakdown and is curently in a section of the hospital which we can not spell ! It is 12:18 am and we strongly suggest you go to bed and get a good nigts sleep !
 
 We don t know if and when she will be back, she definitely was not born to handle PUT !
 
 Abby s loyal assistants.
 
 

[sandykayak]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby:
 
 I keep moaning about how I m longing to go camping by myself so I can really relax, read, do some scrapbooking etc.
 
 My " problem"  is that there s only me and my two doggies and I feel guilty if I don t invite a friend or two (am REALLY trying to overcome inviting the second friend bit cos it s a PITA to keep messing with the dinette bed!).
 
 The problem is exacerbated because I founded a singles camping club and organize most of the trips...it s hard not to invite someone - especially since I have a/c.
 
 Then there s the friend (and her big dog!) who let s me park (for free) in her back yard....she always has first dibs when I post the trips on our group site.
 
 Oh, another thing, inviting people cuts costs...they share expenses (but I provide the camper, transportation, and gear).
 
 What should I do?
 
 My own worst enemy.
 
 Dear Enemy:
 
 1.  Kwityerbitchin  and be grateful you have friends who enjoy camping.
 
 2.  Sneak off somewhere near and cheap and send them an email as you walk out of the door.  Tell them they can meet you there.
 
 3.  Tidy up your garage and then maybe you can fit your popup inside!.
 
 Abby

[birol]

 AustinBoston
Here are the results ::::: SandyKayak Is the offical Thread Killer we were all looking for [8D][8D][8D]

[AustinBoston]

 AustinBoston
Dear Abby,
 
 I start a lot of threads on the Pop-Up-Times board.  Some of them really take off and soon have a life of their own.  Lots of lively conversation results with many follow-up posts.
 But sometimes I start a thread, and it never gets any response.
 Do you think some are interesting and others are boring or stupid?
 
 Sign me,
 NotsobNitsua
 
 Dear NotsobNitsua,
 
 Yes, yes, and yes.
 
 Abby