RE: Special request for prayers

Danusmom · Sep 28, 2003, 07:05 PM

Many of you may remember from the previous boards that my father in-law had been diagnosised with ALS (AKA " Lou Gehrig s Disease" ) ~3 years ago. Well, he had a plateau of sorts in his degenerating process. Now he is on the decline once again. Since his diagnosis, he has loss around 40 pounds --he had a slender build to begin with-- and his doctor wants to insert a feeding tube in his stomach as well as put him on a breathing machine at night. My father in-law is refusing both at this time. And, he s even refusing to leave the house for any duration of time. By all accounts, he is giving up his will to live. At this rate, my FIL may only live another 6 to 8 months.

Although my mother in-law is a very dominating woman with some very intense emotional problems of her own, she s handling " things" the best way she knows how. Thankfully she attends a support group on a regular basis. I can t imagine being married for 40+ years & then watch my spouse deteriorate like this.

DH has not talked much about this situation. He s not much of a talker anyway --it s a " gear-head" thing. Yet, he is on his way, by himself, to visit with his parents this evening (NW burb of Chicago) & will stay the weekend. Please pray he has a safe trip & a very meaningful visit with his folks.

Thanks for your patience in listening to this long set-up.

Peace be with you all.

ForestCreature · Jul 25, 2003, 07:10 PM

DanusmomI know I m the last one you would expect to answer this, but...
I watched my Grandmother wither away with this awful disease. Though you may not agree, the best thing for him would be a speedy death. All the treatments do are prolong the suffering (which is more immense than you caan ever imagine) of both the person with the disease and the families that love them.

ALS has no mercy for anyone.

wiininkwe · Jul 25, 2003, 08:05 PM

DanusmomMy prayers are with you. And, as much as it hurts to think about it, there is nothing you can do but watch this happen and allow the person the freedom to make their own decision when to let go or hang on. We watched my Dad fade away, and when it was time for him to decide whether to allow life saving treatments, the question became, " How many times does a person have to die and come back, to comfort the family?" It s not about the family, it s about your FIL, and his " giving up" may be in actuality, not giving up, but acceptance. He will be fine, be there for him with your support and love.
Toni

Danusmom · Jul 25, 2003, 08:42 PM

Danusmom

Quote...there is nothing you can do but watch this happen and allow the person the freedom to make their own decision when to let go or hang on.

This reminds of my Aunt who died of cervical cancer --actually, it had spread to her liver & pancreas. She had an extremely strong case for a malpractice lawsuit because cervical cancer --in it s early stages-- is very treatable to the point of a cure. Yet, she chose not to pursue the lawsuit. Instead, she chose to live out her life being around family & friends making the most of the time she had left --unlike my FIL. It took me a long to come to terms & fully accept her decision. I still miss her greatly. But, I constantly remind myself of all the wonderful memories I have from visiting with her.

It is horrifically miserable to watch loved ones whither away. Especially when they are in pain during the process. Yet, I believe Alzhiemer s Disease & other OBS s (organic brain syndrome) are worse because the person s spirit leaves long before the physical body. It makes to process of making amends, making last minute memories, & making peace with saying good-bye so much harder.

Thank all for your prayers. Our family certainly needs them.

Peace be with you all.

Starcraft Dad · Jul 25, 2003, 08:44 PM

DanusmomI have a cousin who has this awful disease. She can no longer talk and communicate in the normal ways. My prayers are with him for a safe trip and return home. I will also be saying some prayers for your F-I-L. I know first hand now, how awful this can be for everyone involved.

Danusmom · Jul 27, 2003, 10:09 PM

DanusmomDH just returned home safe & sound. He hasn t said much other than, " he s worse; as expected." As I mentioned earlier, DH is not much of a talker. But DS & I are sure glad to see him home again.

Thanks for all your prayers. Please continue to keep my in-laws in your prayers. This is such a horrific disease. Thanks, again.

Peace be with you all.

Danusmom · Aug 27, 2003, 10:16 AM

DanusmomDH spoke to his folks this past weekend. My FIL has announced he is ready to move to a nursing home. My MIL has made no attempt to honor this decision. Oy!, this is going to get rough.[

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Thanks, again, for your continued prayers.

Peace be with you all.

CajunCamper · Aug 27, 2003, 10:23 AM

DanusmomMy prayers are with you and your family.

Danusmom · Aug 29, 2003, 11:03 AM

DanusmomFIL was admitted to the hospital last evening due to passing out while having his hair cut at home. Until the tests results come back, the working theroy is that he had a reaction to the antibiotics his is taking for pneumonia. With this 1st bout of pneumonia, I don t expect him to live more than a year. Yet, miracles happen everyday.

Thank you for all the continued prayers. DH s side of the family surely needs them.

Peace be with you all.

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