Group camping question

[campingboaters]

We like to camp with friends.  Problem is, some of the people we end up camping with feel it's necessary to spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT together.  I don't mind doing an activity or two together, having a pot luck dinner one night and hanging around the campfire after the kids go to bed, but these people think we need to eat all three meals a day together.  We have two or three families like that!  
 
It really puts a strain on DH and I and on our friendship with these people.  We constantly suggest that they go off and do what they want while we do such and such, but they ALWAYS decide to tag along.
 
Are DH and I nuts?  We've never gone on one of the group trips organized here.  Is a group campout supposed to be that "close"?  How do you handle camping with friends?

[angelsmom10]

I can understand where you are coming from.  We camp with GLPUC and a lot of them sit around the camp fire constantly and have invited us to join them.  It is nice to sit and talk, but one of the reasons I camp is to just "get away" and being around people is not my idea of getting away.  They don't push, but I sometimes feel bad because I stay in the PU.  Don't get my wrong, we go with the group and it is very enjoyable, but I (personally) feel awkward when they come over and ask why I haven't come down to join them.  They usually don't push anything.  They will sometimes say... anyone interested in doing (such or such), we're planning on going around 2pm... meet at site #...--- some people go while other stay behind and has usually worked out pretty well.  
 
As far as your friends go, kinda drop a hint about wanting to do something alone with just the family and hopefully they'll eventually get the hint; or maybe set up a schedule of "group" things to do and "family" times.  Although I don't like "organized" time schedules, this may be the way to slowly "ween" your friends from 24/7.
 

 

[cam]

I totally understand.  I find if the group is big enough (3-4 families even) we can make some plans to do our own thing, but if we go with just one other family there is very little time to ourselves.  Sometimes it isn't a big deal, especially if the kids are getting along and playing together, but other times you just want to run into the forest and hide.

DW and I have a rule that we will not go camping with others for more than a weekend.  If we are going to take time off work we take the kids and go by ourselves.

[birol]

We only camped twice, but, we made sure that family time comes first. We spent time with the families we liked when we could, after doing what we wanted to do ... As for going someplace together, yeah, a big maybe as we are quite different in what we enjoy, how we do things and so on. If we are at the CG and so are you, we would love to spend tome together ...but we would not want to spend all the time together, that would be hard on everyone involved ....

[campingboaters]

So, it sounds like we're not completely crazy -- at least in this instance.  :rolleyes:
 
I like to have/attend parties and be around others, but I was starting to think I was becoming anti-social by not wanting to spend all day/all weekend with the other family(ies).  It's one thing to invite someone to join you for an activity or just hanging out, it's another thing altogether to assume that you'll spend every waking moment together.  
 
I just wanted to see what others thought. Keep the comments/thoughts coming! :W

[byrdr1]

Working on a group trip as I read this. 8 Families going to Myrtle Beach, SC.
camping Ocean Lakes CG with 3 PU's, 4 TT's and one rented onsite TT.
I have planned a Friday night PotLuck Dinner and I am in charge of same. But here is some of what I just sent out to the group about an hour ago.
 
"The rest of your meals are on your own as far breakfast, lunch and suppers.  Some will do this together, but that is up you.
We need to make plans to go out Saturday night if you want as a group or DO your own thing!! Just let me know what you are thinking. Remember this would be a large group(24-28 people) so we need to think of a Ryan's Steak House type of place as far as this large group. Food is OK.
But if you want to break up into smaller groups and go some place nice that is not a problem or if you just want to chill around the campsite... What-ever!!!! Let me know....
This Friday night meal is the only group thing that we have planned.. This is a mini-vacation so I plan to vacate.."
 
Plain and simple, cut & dry..
Just got to make this know up FRONT!
Randy

[B-flat]

Hmmmm, for some they want to hang out all the time and for others, they want to have some time to do the things they want to do.  I would make it known from the beginning that you intend to do some things on your own because you don't get to camp very much.  Then, do them and don't think twice.  It might be a good idea to keep your plans under wraps lest the others want to join you.  Fortunately I have never had this problem in group campouts.  Everyone in our "group" pretty much did their own thing but didn't mind my showing up anytime to see what was going on at the central campsites of the group.

[wynot]

We like camping with the various groups because of having folks around that you know, and it does your heart good to get together with them after not seeing them for a while.
 
I've never felt pressured into being together every moment, and I hope I've never done that to anyone else.
 
We do have dear friends that we would kill if we spent 2 days of a vacation with them though.  My first hint was at the DC auto show, my buddy, his 10-11 year old son and I went.  Dad had the kid so paranoid that if he strayed more than 6 ft away, it was like there was an invisible leash bringing him back.  I couldn't enjoy drifting from car to car, and I tried 4 times unsuccessfully to arrange a meeting place to get some alone time.  There has been some suggestions of joint vacations and we figured that impulse and not so fussy people like us don't work well with reservations and immaculate facilities people.
 
We're the ones who end up touring and visiting things on the spur of the moment, and who knows where we'll end up staying.  Having a camper on the back bumper has kinda hurt that just a smidge.

[Camperroo]

We camp to get away so we really try to limit having friends come up and hang around.  The problem is they are always looking to be entertained and that annoys me to no end that they can't find their own entertainment after awhile at the campground.   Also, folks usually congregate around our TT and I wind up serving everybody and making food, etc.  So they are all relaxing and I'm constantly up and down getting things, etc.  As a result we purposely plan just a couple of trips out with friends so we know what to expect but after that it's just us and the kids, where we can take a break from it all.

[sandykayak]

We like to camp with friends.  ....Are DH and I nuts?  We've never gone on one of the group trips organized here.  Is a group campout supposed to be that "close"?  How do you handle camping with friends?

Okay, here's another point of view (and from a single person who does enjoy camping alone).

My first off the cuff remark is that I don't think you really do like camping with friends.  Don't take this the wrong way, but it seems that you want to be with them when it suits you and not when it suits them (which appears to be a lot more

If I (single or as a couple) invite some friends (say, another couple or family) to go on a camping trip somewhere I would expect that we would do most of the activities and share most meals together.  (I'm always delighted if people go off and do their own thing, but if I invited I'd be prepared.)

I have the same "problem" sometimes cos I started two camping groups and I very often dont' want to "do" anything.  I'll take my books or sewing or scrapbooking and get a bit annoyed when I have to stop and socialize - especially scrapbooking, which I do inside the camper.

Fortunately, most people go off and do their own thing but there's always some people who hang around...and that's OK cos that's why I invited or accepted an invitation to a group campout.  Lots of times I prefer to forgo the benefit of having someone share expenses just for the sake of having my camper and my time and "space" to myself.

I honestly don't think you have to worry about feeling pressured to do things a club campouts, though.  But if you invite someone, IMO, that's different.

What I'm not clear is whether these invitations also include people who will actually be sleeping in your camper or just other friends with campers.

In my case, most of my camping friends have tents so the popup definitely becomes the center of attraction.  The biggest challenge is getting a turn on my "Lafuma-type" lounger!!!

[Gone-Camping]

I camp with friends more often than not. As a matter of fact, if one of us plans a camping trip, we always ask the other if they are interested. When we are camping, we have our together times and our alone times and neither really intrudes on the other. We've got it down to a science really, we if we're outside then it's ok to drop by, if we're inside then it's not ok... (with certain exceptions that is)...

[campingboaters]

Sandykayak,  I see your point about INVITING a family to camp with us.  I think my problem is that my DH and I got these people into camping by inviting them to join us.  In those cases, we did hang out ALL DAY ALL WEEKEND -- showing them how much fun camping can be.  Years later, those people now have their own campers and we have "group" campouts.  Someone schedules a camping weekend and just opens it up to other families if anyone is interested.  To me, those weekends should allow for some alone time with my family.    

I had started to feel like camperoo in that everyone always congregated at our camper or tagged along on OUR "adventures" and I was "serving" everyone all weekend long.  I never felt comfortable telling them we wanted to do something just as a family.  It just got to be no fun for me.  I like camping with other families, just not the ones that need to be entertained by us all weekend long.  One family in particular wants to schedule EVERY ONE of their trips with us.  I finally told them that we schedule certain weekends for just family.  The wife was offended, but that's HER problem.
 
We have a couple other families that we camp with and they don't feel the need to do everything together.  We get together with one family (after doing whatever for the day) for dinner.  We each cook food for dinner and then we bring it all together and have a feast.  The other family we like to camp with, I cook dinner for all of us one night and they cook the next night.  We may or may not do things together during the day.  It's up in the air and whatever happens, happens.
 
So, now I don't feel so bad having told those families to "entertain" themselves once in a while!  Hi, my name is NATACHA... NOT Julie (the cruise director)!  
 
Man, all this talk of camping is KILLING ME!  I want to camp, but my new kitchen cabinets just arrived... Duty calls.

[sandykayak]

so glad you weren't offended by my observations...i later realized that I (tho my father was English - mother from ecuador - and I have a lot of British upbringing) was raised in south america (venezuela) where the family and friends doing things together is a BIG thing.

people think absolutely nothing of dropping in on people whenever it suits them.  and the visitees are always delighted to have these unexpected guests!!!

here in south florida we see a lot of the same - I hardly ever hear my gringo neighbors who have 3 kids on one side, yet the venezuelans on the other are forever socializing on the back porch that abuts my deck/bedroom.  and all-night parties like you wouldn't believe.

once when I made a comment about not getting any sleep the reply was, "Well, you'd better get ready cos we're having a BBQ tonight."  No "Gee, I'm sorry..."

After the snowbirds leave, America Outdoors Campground in Key Largo (lovely beach with good swimming) becomes Hialeah South.  (Hialeah is a very Cuban city within Miami-Dade County).

Across from us last year was an extended family (at least 10 people, including kids) that pays $700 a month to keep their travel trailer there for 6 months.  They go down every weekend...and have a blast.

the biggest "joke" is that I have become much more americanized now and find that sort of togetherness a bit overwhelming.  

[wiininkwe]

In years past we used to have a similiar problem. We have a camping property of our own, and love to have people camp with us. However, because it is our own place, people just assumed that all they had to do was show up, and we would feed and entertain for the whole weekend. Sometimes 6 or more people would come to visit with our family of 5. I had to dig out tents, sleeping bags, pillows, buy extra groceries and drinks. We did most of our cooking on the campfire back then, and I was seeing my shins burned after a long weekend from standing in front of the fire so long cooking for every one, and then heating the kettle of water to do dishes, etc. (while the rest took off to go fishing, hiking, whatever) Finally, I made some phone calls just before a long weekend, and informed some relatives that they would be scheduled to prepare and clean up after certain meals (including planning and bringing the food for those meals). I assigned all breakfasts to one DS-I-L, lunch to DM-I-L, and I did dinners. Everyone was going to be expected to furnish their own snacks and drinks. I would still make sleeping arrangements. Well, can you believe that no one showed up that weekend??!! I did eventually talk to all and explained how I felt about these camping trips, and we all agreed to make some compromises, and after that it really improved. Also, they were not as interested in camping with us every single weekend anymore. If you want to change the way things are going, you have to take the effort to make the changes, let the people around you take some of the responsibility for the work, expense and for planning activities.
T

[campingboaters]

Amen, Toni!  You did the right thing to those free-loaders (even if they were family)!  
 
Sandykayak, I was not offened by what your wrote. I asked for opinions and you gave yours.  Believe it or not, I am the first generation of my family to be born in the US.  My mother was born in Brasil, but is of Ukranian decent and my father was born in Russia.  We don't have much family here in the states, but when we have a party/holiday, EVERYONE is invited.   I just got tired of being the hostess EVERY camping trip.  I never got to relax.
 
I have already started the ball rolling with doing group camping trips, but everyone has their own responsibilities and I organize the pot-luck meals.  Organizing is easy, cooking and cleaning -- not so easy!
 
I need to stop all this thinking about camping and just CAMP!  Maybe we'll sleep out in the backyard soon...