Why Parents Drink

[dthurk]

Gleaned from an email message at school:
 
 
 A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not
phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main
computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
 
"Hello."
 
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
 
"Yes," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"
 
The child whispered, "No."
 
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?"
 
"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"
 
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
 
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,
the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
 
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"
 
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the
boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
 
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"
 
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that
noise?"

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just
landed the helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: "ME."

[AustinBoston]

Anybody who has consistently read Calvin & Hobbs knows why parents drink, and wonders why children ever live to adulthood.

Austin

[dthurk]

Anybody who has consistently read Calvin & Hobbs knows why parents drink, and wonders why children ever live to adulthood.

Austin

Actually, regretably and sadly, they don't all make it.  It's most difficult sometimes protecting them from their own invincibility.  I have way too many stories of local children who didn't make it.  Personally, our middle daughter has caused me to NOT drink.  I haven't had anything alcoholic since early September.  Don't know yet when I might break my voluntary "fast".  What parents won't go through to help their children.  

I just hoped this piece might bring a few smiles.  It was being passed around the local elementary school email channels as each one of us can think of several students who could be the kid that's having all the fun.

[wavery]

Anybody who has consistently read Calvin & Hobbs knows why parents drink, and wonders why children ever live to adulthood.

Austin

I think that I have all of Calvin & Hobbs writings. No kid should grow up without reading that stuff.    HMMMMMMMMM!! On second thought :yikes: , maybe you should be at least 18 to read it :p .

[AustinBoston]

Either way, remember what Bill Cosby said; the curse *works*.

"I hope when you grow up, you have kids just like you!"

Austin

[AustinBoston]

Actually, regretably and sadly, they don't all make it.  It's most difficult sometimes protecting them from their own invincibility.  I have way too many stories of local children who didn't make it...

I wasn't thinking accident, but murder.  I've known plenty of parent who thought "I'm gonna kill that kid!"

Thankfully, very, very few ever do.

Austin

[dthurk]

Sorry.  I've just seen too much during my life with kids.  I deal with a lot more than just my own during the course of a year, not that my own have been a walk in the park either, especially during recent months.  I guess I'd better quit before I really get to be a downer.

[tlhdoc]

Either way, remember what Bill Cosby said; the curse *works*.
 

"I hope when you grow up, you have kids just like you!"

Austin

I just love Bill Cosby and the "parents curse".

[wavery]

Either way, remember what Bill Cosby said; the curse *works*.

"I hope when you grow up, you have kids just like you!"

Austin

I shudder everytime I think about that. I was such a rotten kid (a certifiable Calvin) and my kids & grandkids have been absolutely ZERO problems (so far). I'm just waiting. I know that I have to pay my dues :yikes: , I'm just wondering when it's coming :eyecrazy: .

[griffsmom]

Either way, remember what Bill Cosby said; the curse *works*.
 

"I hope when you grow up, you have kids just like you!"

Austin

My mother calls this payback and never misses the chance to mention it each time I tell her why my 5 y/o DS's preschool called "this time."

[ScoobyDoo]

Mom put that curse on me, scared me bad enough that I have none that call me dad.
   I heared somewhere that grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own.

[AustinBoston]

Mom put that curse on me, scared me bad enough that I have none that call me dad.
   I heared somewhere that grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own.

And SPOILING grandchildren is your opportunity to make sure the curse works on your kids!  :yikes:

Austin