North vs South

[Tim5055]

The North has Bloomingdales, The South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.


FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into
a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do
not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's is
plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
it.


Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or
big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here.


If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay
out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

[AustinBoston]

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into
a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their
way. This is what they live for.

Ain't that the truth!  Sometimes, they range pretty far to find someone to help.  The only time we've ended up in a ditch was not in the south, not even in the U.S., but in Prince Edward Island, Canada.  But who helped us out?  Some old guy with a Big'Ol pickup with Texas plates.  Yep, he had chains and had us out of there in no time!

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

My granddaughter was born in North Carolina.  She's six months old.  I've already explained to her that she's still a Northern Girl, even if she was born in a Naval hospital in North Carolina.  

Austin

[bpike]

Y'all better be nice to us Texas boys.  

[SpeakEasy]

I kind of always thought Texas was a separate issue - neither North nor South.  You know, that old "Lone Star" stuff.

-Speak

[dcampbell1969]

You forgot "fixin".
"Fixin" is not repairing something, it's gettin' ready to do something.  
I'm fixin to head out for my campin' trip!

[AustinBoston]

I kind of always thought Texas was a separate issue - neither North nor South.  You know, that old "Lone Star" stuff.

-Speak

They were on "Their Side" in the war for Confederate Independence.  

Austin

[cruiserpop]

see below

[cruiserpop]

red neck ain't latitude, it's attitude!
Southern: Bubba
Northern: Swamp Yankee
Besides the accent and grits thing, ain't much different.
IF you ain't been in town at least three generations, and you and your daddy can't talk about the same 6the grade teacher you both had 30 years apart, you're an outsider.
If you ain't dirt poor, got at least three rusted out cars in the yard (rich folks might have a bus) in addition to the tractor, you'r a city boy.
If you didn't make a few dollars on the side trappin in high school, you was rich.
If the highlight of the week wasn't the church social, you was from out of town. (caveat, up North, the Catholics run a few variations, bingo, casino night, penny sale. And they serve booze). If not the Church, than the Legion or Fire hall dance.
If you didn't spend at least one Summer day Fishin with your momma or daddy, you were just deprived.
This, from a transplanted swamp yankee living in Virginia. We can have a spirited debate about which side won in 1865, but I think the south won the war. Why else would so many swamp yankees want to head down
to "reb country" perminantly?
p.s the north has "johnny cake" instead of conbread. The grits thing we just don't get. Example; a self proclaimed memphis-style barbicue place in backwoods new hampshire. the Southern breakfast, 2 eggs any style, grits, and Boston baked beans-and we do not eat beans for breakfast.

[PJay]

I am mostly definately a Yankee ... and I love grits.  Drowned in butter with salt and pepper.

But what I think most (if not all) Southerners are deprived of is a good ole' dose of sweetened tree sap called Maple Syrup.  And NOPE, the karo syrup thing is not the same

[tlhdoc]

DH went to college in South Carolina.  One of his high school friends went to the same school and stayed in SC.  The locals still call him a yankee.  He doesn't have the accent right.  To me he sounds southern.  

Tim thanks for posting this.

[LACamper]

They were on "Their Side" in the war for Confederate Independence.  

Austin

Just for the record... many Southerners still refer to that war as the 'War of Northern Aggression'

[McCampers]

I've lived in the south 17 years and counting.  I will tell you.  You must embrace not only the dialect, but also, the way of life to be one of them.  You have to take the time to know them and why they talk the way they do and why they eat what they eat.  
Mostly it is about poverty, family, and pride.  All of which are good in moderation.  I laugh at the rusted out old car sitting in the front yard too. I've learned that the car belongs to them title clear and, guess what, most of the time the land it is sitting on does too.  Both of which have been in the family for longer than you or I have ever lived in one place.  They can tell you stories about that car from the day their grandaddy bought it right up till the last time it ran.
Most of these people can trace their ancestors all the way back to the revolutionary war and never leave the cemetary by the church where they were baptized and, where they will be buried right along with the family.  

There is something to be said for that.  Not sure what but, something.  The south is a wonderful place full of stories and great weather.  All of this and so much more make it the best place to camp.

[cyclone]

When I first moved to Tennessee (about 25 years ago) I worked with a guy who was a transplant from Chicago.  He'd been here for about 30 years at that time.  This wise man told me "you'll do just fine if you act like a Southerner, talk like a Southerner, but continue to think like a Northerner."   :p

[wavery]

I've lived in the south 17 years and counting.  I will tell you.  You must embrace not only the dialect, but also, the way of life to be one of them.  You have to take the time to know them and why they talk the way they do and why they eat what they eat.  
Mostly it is about poverty, family, and pride.  All of which are good in moderation.  I laugh at the rusted out old car sitting in the front yard too. I've learned that the car belongs to them title clear and, guess what, most of the time the land it is sitting on does too.  Both of which have been in the family for longer than you or I have ever lived in one place.  They can tell you stories about that car from the day their grandaddy bought it right up till the last time it ran.
Most of these people can trace their ancestors all the way back to the revolutionary war and never leave the cemetary by the church where they were baptized and, where they will be buried right along with the family.  

There is something to be said for that.  Not sure what but, something.  The south is a wonderful place full of stories and great weather.  All of this and so much more make it the best place to camp.

Did I ever mention..................

I HATE BUGS

[Azusateach]

Did I ever mention..................

I HATE BUGS

AMEN.