RE: Why No Feedback?(Long)

Turn Key · Sep 28, 2003, 07:05 PM

OK, I know it s been too long since my last camping trip and I may be getting picky but this bothers me at times and I m wondering if I m the only one. Here s the deal:

As many know by my use of the same screen name, I am a member of a number of camping related messageboards. On all of them, I like to offer what little wisdom I can when asked. One of the things I really enjoy is posting reviews about parks we have been to. When I do this, I expect no feedback, positive or negative, as I ve put the post out there of my own accord. I often get some kind of feedback from members as to how they felt about or what they got out of my review. Either positive or negative, I appreciate the feedback because it lets me know that it s being read and it helps me hone my writing skills. It should be noted that I almost always get some kind of positive feedback from this group, even when it may not be warranted.

Here s my problem. On other boards, I have seen members ask for information about camping in a given area or other information. If I have some information to add, I ll do so by either writting a fresh review/post or going back and doing a " cut & paste" of a review that I have already written. When I do this I am really not looking for anything in return but to know that the requesting party has at least looked at what was submitted by myself and others. In many cases on other bords, the requesting individual never indicates that he or she has seen the post. Some times I get the feeling I m yelling into a void when this happens.

I really don t want this to turn into a rant session and as said, I m not looking for anything more then a little feedback. My mother always taught me (with a thunk on the head when needed) that if you ask a favor and it is granted, a " Thank You!" is always in order. I hear and read so much about the rudness of people today. Often the complaint is based on individuals not getting positive responces to demands rather then requests that they make. All I m looking for is enough feedback to know that what what I have sent out into the void has been received.

Or am I asking too much?

ForestCreature · Jul 20, 2003, 06:34 PM

Turn KeyA little feedback be it positive, negetive or just a small thanks is not so much to expect. I think many of us have grown to expect some sort of thanks due to the community feel of PUT. Many of those other board are still in their growth process and that community feel hasn t quite reached what is here, which is no excuse for not saying a simple thanks.

birol · Jul 20, 2003, 06:35 PM

Turn KeyI will put my neck on the block. I don t think you are asking too much. It is a common courtesy thing to say thank you when somebody responds to your request.

Nevertheless, I am very used to people getting what they want and moving on without a simple thank you or even an acknowledgement. For them that is normal, they asked, you provided. That was what was expected of you, so why do you expect a thank you is the way they look at it.

Different way of living/thinking I guess ....

labontefan · Jul 20, 2003, 07:09 PM

Turn KeyI m with you, Turn Key! I ve asked questions on this board before and always gotten several helpful responses. I always try to post something like " Thanks for the info" after several people have responded. It s partly to be polite (like my momma taught me [

]), and partly to let people know I read the responses since they were polite enough to answer.

It is a little frustrating if someone asks a question and you post an answer, and never see a response. Makes you wonder if the questioner bothered to read your answer, or if you wasted your time in answering.

wiininkwe · Jul 20, 2003, 07:38 PM

Turn KeyI really agree with those who feel that some kind of acknowledgement should be expected. It is a matter of common courtesy, and respect, and to say( sorry Birol [&:] ) that people shouldn t expect it because no one does it anymore is exactly the reason WHY no one has any manners any more. I do expect good manners from the people around me, and I let them know that, in my own way. Just today, NightOwl and I were talking on the phone about how much influence we all have over others in that area. I related to her a conversation with my DH and I and Dsister earlier this week. He said " My crew is the only one in our company that says please and thank you to each other. " (He is the foreman on a construction crew) When my sister asked him how that came about, he smiled and said, " As we were raising our kids, Toni would always say Please and Thank you to them when she wanted them to do something, even if it was to do a chore that they were expected to do anyway, and hated. She d say, " Will you go to the kitchen and do the dinner dishes, please?" Instead of yelling, " Get in there and do those dishes!!" And when they were done, even tho they didn t like doing it, she would say Thank you for doing the dishes. Well, I ve noticed that now that our kids are adults, they aren t perfect or anything, but they do have good manners and know how to speak appropriately. So, I decided that I was tired of my crew yelling at each other like animals for things, " Where s the $%@***@# hammer??!!" and I started making a point of saying please and thank you . It didn t take long, and they were all doing it. (they now say " Where s the *%$#@*#@$ hammer, Please?" ) Sometimes they get a little sarcastic about it, but for the most part, they have all started talking more politely to each other. We all deserve some degree of respect from one another, and being polite is one way of showing that.
T
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birol · Jul 20, 2003, 07:49 PM

wiininkwe

QuoteORIGINAL: wiininkwe

I really agree with those who feel that some kind of acknowledgement should be expected. It is a matter of common courtesy, and respect, and to say( sorry Birol [&:] ) that people shouldn t expect it because no one does it anymore is exactly the reason WHY no one has any manners any more.
[]

You made me realize that I didn t/couldn t exactly express myself properly. I do expect people to say thank you, or provide acknowledgements, and get upset if nothing is sad. But, I do not let it drive me nuts (I don t mean you are leeting it drive you nuts Turn Key), and I let disappointment linger a while and I move on. It happens so frequently, I am sort of getting used to it, especially with some of DD & DS s friends

.

With Kids, I Look them in the eye, and say a loud and clear You Are Welcome and that usually gets a thank you. With adults I let it go ... If they did not learn it till now, they are not going to learn it now. I do not forget it though [&:]

wiininkwe · Jul 20, 2003, 08:06 PM

Turn KeySorry for the isunderstanding Birol, and you are right to some degree that as adults they should have learned the right way to act long ago. But that just isn t a good enough excuse for me, they can start learning anytime, LOL.
T
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madrone · Jul 21, 2003, 01:42 AM

Turn KeyOn some mailing lists, it s considered bad form to clutter up the list with " Thank you" messages. In such forums, you usually say your thanks in advance when you ask your question. After you ve gotten your answer, you re not supposed to say " Thanks" again unless you have new information to add.

It s nice to know what the expectations are on this board.

tlhdoc · Jul 21, 2003, 06:47 AM

Turn KeyI have to agree with the majority. Some type of recognition should be posted.

angelsmom10 · Jul 21, 2003, 08:46 AM

Turn KeyI also read several boards, but I really don t post there.

I have found, the people here are more friendly and seem to be more concerned and courtious.

We tend to be sarcastic at times, but here, we do respond with a thank you or an appology.

Since we joined the board 2 years ago, I have always appreciated everyones concern both on the board and via emails -- I m glad we stayed and supported PUT as I have found the greatest people here.[

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Turn Key · Jul 21, 2003, 10:45 AM

Turn KeyWell, I guess I m not off base for expecting some feedback on my posts. Seems I m not alone in my expectations. Guess it bothers me a bit because I spend so much time at this board and it does tend to be more friendly and polite then some of the others. I ve just come to expect more. PUX tends to be a lot like this one (not surprising really[

]).

I came on board here 2-3 forum changes ago, not long after it was first cranked up. I had just started to use PC s and I believe it was the first messageboard I had anything to do with. I thought they were all more or less like this one. Boy, was I surprised! There are a few out there that I will have nothing to do with and some I have left due to changes in member s input. On others, certain member s posts never make it to my screen. I put up with enough garbage in my life due to where I work. Don t need it here.

Heather, thanks for you thought. The issue of band width never occured to me. Can t say I agree with that reasoning but I do understand it.

Any way, thanks for letting me vent and letting me know I m not out of line. And " birol" , I understood what you were saying right off. Thanks for the feedback.

Happy Camping!

birol · Jul 21, 2003, 12:01 PM

Turn KeyYou are very welcome [

]

Did you say camping

?? CAMPING !!!!!!!! when will I camp again

I WANNA GO CAMPING !!!!!!

madrone · Jul 21, 2003, 06:55 PM

Turn Key

QuoteORIGINAL: Turn Key
Heather, thanks for you thought. The issue of band width never occured to me. Can t say I agree with that reasoning but I do understand it.

It was a big issue on Usenet and BBSes back in the early 80s when disk space was precious and a lot of people dialed up at 300 baud. There were times you could make and drink a pot of coffee while waiting for the screen to redraw.

It doesn t make much sense with current technology, but old dogs can be slow learners.

birol · Jul 22, 2003, 08:58 AM

Turn KeyHey I learned ! [8D]

angelsmom10 · Jul 22, 2003, 09:38 AM

Turn KeyFinal results......

A simple thanks ... should not take up too much space or time[

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