I Am So #@%&* Mad

[Starcraft Dad]

I am so flippin mad right now I can't see straight. My oldest DS senior prom is tonight. He was going to bring a friend to it and will actually be his very first date. Well this morning we got a phone call telling us the girl decided not to go. She wanted to go shopping in Montreal instead.
 
We got the Tux at $300.00 to match her dress, the corsage has been bought, paid $500.00 for the limo rental, $50.00 for DS hair cut $120.00 for the prom tickets. Plus we have a profesional photographer coming to the house for pictures.  With everything this prom cost us more than a thousand bucks.
 
The money part is not the issue but my son will be devestated, as he doesn't know yet. He was gone getting his hair cut when I got the call. This girl and him are just friends, nothing romantic, but how could she do something like this at the last minute.
 
On another note though, so the evening won't be a total loss, the people at work has fixed him up with another girl whom he works with. He likes her also and they are friends. They are getting her hair done as we speak, got a dress to match his tux and getting her all fixed up.
 
Chad is a very, very shy kid and it took everything he could muster to ask this girl to the prom. Thats why we spent so much on making this night magical for him. Right now I am so angry I'm sitting here crying because of this. Maybe I'm too sensitive about things like this, but hey they are my kids and I just want them to happy.
 
Sorry for the rant and rave but I just had to vent to someone.

[MommaMia]

I am so flippin mad right now I can't see straight. My oldest DS senior prom is tonight. He was going to bring a friend to it and will actually be his very first date. Well this morning we got a phone call telling us the girl decided not to go. She wanted to go shopping in Montreal instead.
 
We got the Tux at $300.00 to match her dress, the corsage has been bought, paid $500.00 for the limo rental, $50.00 for DS hair cut $120.00 for the prom tickets. Plus we have a profesional photographer coming to the house for pictures.  With everything this prom cost us more than a thousand bucks.
 
The money part is not the issue but my son will be devestated, as he doesn't know yet. He was gone getting his hair cut when I got the call. This girl and him are just friends, nothing romantic, but how could she do something like this at the last minute.
 
On another note though, so the evening won't be a total loss, the people at work has fixed him up with another girl whom he works with. He likes her also and they are friends. They are getting her hair done as we speak, got a dress to match his tux and getting her all fixed up.
 
Chad is a very, very shy kid and it took everything he could muster to ask this girl to the prom. Thats why we spent so much on making this night magical for him. Right now I am so angry I'm sitting here crying because of this. Maybe I'm too sensitive about things like this, but hey they are my kids and I just want them to happy.
 
Sorry for the rant and rave but I just had to vent to someone.

I'd be flipping mad too.  And although I know my kid would be mortified by it, I wouldn't hesitate on making a call to the parents of the girl and let them know what a bang up job they are doing at raising a decent, considerate young lady (with all the sarcasm I can conjure up).  

I'm relieved that he's got another date and that it's someone that he's friends with.  You may be surprised.... he may actually be relieved that he can relax and enjoy the night with a friend and not someone that he was nerved up about asking out in the first place.

Take some pics... I want to see if he's got a smile on his face despite being blown off by a rude and selfish brat!

[wiininkwe]

This kind of thing just fries me too.   I can't help but wonder about a few things.  If she and your son are good friends, are you friends with her parents, and have you spoken with them?   I can't believe that responsible parents would allow their kid to just blow off something like this.  And, here's another one.  What about her dress, and all that?  Most girls start getting ready for the prom way ahead of time, shopping for the right shoes, jewelry, etc.    Didn't she (or her parents) have to put out some money to get her ready for this, that they are just willing to forget about so she can do what she wants at the last minute??   It doesn't seem like her parents would just throw that money away. Or, did she just not ever really take the date seriously enough to prepare for it in the first place?  
 I would have had a serious talk with the parents, not just the girl, maybe her folks never even knew about this date to start with.  At any rate, I can't imagine not teaching children of any age that they are responsible for their own actions, deeds and words.   When you make a commitment, it's meant to be kept.   I just ache for your son, to be treated like this by a person that he considered a good friend.  If that's how she treats her friends, well..........it goes without saying.
T

[tlhdoc]

This kind of thing just fries me too.   I can't help but wonder about a few things.  If she and your son are good friends, are you friends with her parents, and have you spoken with them?   I can't believe that responsible parents would allow their kid to just blow off something like this.  And, here's another one.  What about her dress, and all that?  Most girls start getting ready for the prom way ahead of time, shopping for the right shoes, jewelry, etc.    Didn't she (or her parents) have to put out some money to get her ready for this, that they are just willing to forget about so she can do what she wants at the last minute??   It doesn't seem like her parents would just throw that money away. Or, did she just not ever really take the date seriously enough to prepare for it in the first place?  
 I would have had a serious talk with the parents, not just the girl, maybe her folks never even knew about this date to start with.  At any rate, I can't imagine not teaching children of any age that they are responsible for their own actions, deeds and words.   When you make a commitment, it's meant to be kept.   I just ache for your son, to be treated like this by a person that he considered a good friend.  If that's how she treats her friends, well..........it goes without saying.
T

You said it better than I could.

[NightOwl]

it sounds to me like this may turn out to  be a blessing in disguise for your son.:S

But like the rest here, I am hurt and furious on his behalf.

These people are the kind you need to never have anything else to do with.  THEY ARE TOTAL FAILURES AS PARENTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE RAISED A DAUGHTER WHO IS A TOTAL FAILURE AS A DECENT HUMAN BEING.

I dont give a damn what excuses any of them makes, or how cute she is or anything else, they are just worthless.  They sound to me  like  "moral trash"  

Lemme tell you, if my kid dared to suggest such a thing, first she'd be made to realize she made a commitment and she IS going to the dance.   And then  after it was over, we'd have a long talk and I'd try to find out how it was we had raised  a child who was so selfish and unkind and IRRESPONSIBLE

[Kelly]

Chad is a very, very shy kid and it took everything he could muster to ask this girl to the prom. Thats why we spent so much on making this night magical for him. Right now I am so angry I'm sitting here crying because of this. Maybe I'm too sensitive about things like this, but hey they are my kids and I just want them to happy.

I don't think you are too sensitive ... he's lucky to have parents who are so caring and involved in his life.

It's stories like this that help me hold firm to my resolve to be a Mean Mom!  I don't care how much my kids complain ~ they will be held accountable and responsible for their actions.  And I will remain insistent, consistent and persistent in my parenting.

I really hope Chad has a magical evening ...

[birol]

Tell your son this from me please or let him read it :

" It is a fortunate thing that you are not going to the prom with "That" girl. Anyone who is not considerate enough to let a date for a prom that she won't be  able to make it as soon as she realizes it is not worth taking to the prom. She doesn't deserve to be next to you, now or never !

Let her go to Montreal and make a fool of herself, while you enjoy your prom with a person whose  cares enough for you to be there for you. It is the latter people you want to be associated with.

Good things sometimes come in disguise as bad news, this is one of those instances. Be with the people who care, You will be happier, so will they !


Now go and have the greatest time of your life !  It will be a blast ! "

[wiininkwe]

I'd just like to mention one more thing.   Those parents, and others like them, aren not doing their children any favors by letting them shirk their responsibilities.  These are the children that grow up to be adults who do not understand that they have to actually show up at work every day in order to keep their jobs.   They are the ones who think that when they lose their drivers licenses for not following the rules, think it's ok to drink and drive without a license.   They are the ones who leave their children in hot cars while they go into the store.   They are the ones who feel that the everyday  considerations towards others in their world do not apply to them.   And the parents will end up taking care of them, supporting them or visiting them in jail while the rest of us are celebrating the good times we have with our children and being proud of the strong, productive, compassionate and caring children we have raised.  I guess that was more than one thing, huh.
T

[Starcraft Dad]

My DW called and he is still going, and the second girl stepped in so he would. He works at JC Penney and the people there and the store managers got together and rallied to pay for all the things she needed. Chad is well loved there by everyone and they were really upset by what happened. The "other" girl works there also and everyone is very angry with her. Turns out she never planned on going in the first place and enjoys playing with peoples emotions. She comes from a very wealthy family and I spoke to her mother and it seems mom doesn't really care. She said it was her decision to make and if we didn't like it, too bad. I just don't understand how parents can raise a child who doesn't care about other peoples feelings. But considering the mother I talked to, I guess you have to have feelings and proper morals to be able to teach them to the children.
 
Thank You all for your support and understanding.  Chad was very hurt by this and he will be happy to know there are people out there that do care.

[NightOwl]

My DW called and he is still going, and the second girl stepped in so he would. He works at JC Penney and the people there and the store managers got together and rallied to pay for all the things she needed. Chad is well loved there by everyone and they were really upset by what happened. The "other" girl works there also and everyone is very angry with her. Turns out she never planned on going in the first place and enjoys playing with peoples emotions. She comes from a very wealthy family and I spoke to her mother and it seems mom doesn't really care. She said it was her decision to make and if we didn't like it, too bad. I just don't understand how parents can raise a child who doesn't care about other peoples feelings. But considering the mother I talked to, I guess you have to have feelings and proper morals to be able to teach them to the children.
 
Thank You all for your support and understanding.  Chad was very hurt by this and he will be happy to know there are people out there that do care.

well, SCD, this tells it all--this girl, as we all suspected--is coming from a very poor and  deprived  home environment. . .

This pitiful excuse for a girl is a Moral Midget being raised by Moral Midgets.  I feel sorry for her becuase someday  the payback pendulum will swing in her direction.  And like they say, "Payback is a b1tch" :#

[birol]

I am glad your son is still going Starcraftdad ! I hope he will have a great time.


You are right Nightowl !  The girl is a beach ! What I am afraid will happen when the pendulum swings back and hits her , she will blame it on other people accusing them of being abusive and intolerant. She will never see the wrongness of her ways ! It is sad that parents raise their children, or wait, not raise, this is not raising a child, they just let them grow like weeds !

well, SCD, this tells it all--this girl, as we all suspected--is coming from a very poor and  deprived  home environment. . .

This pitiful excuse for a girl is a Moral Midget being raised by Moral Midgets.  I feel sorry for her becuase someday  the payback pendulum will swing in her direction.  And like they say, "Payback is a b1tch" :#

[NightOwl]

My prediction: Chad and his REAL friend are going to have a FANTASTIC  time--and he will have all of us   "long-distance  foster  parents" at PUT cheering him on!

(PS--the shy ones grow up to be wonderful men--I know; I've been married  for 46 years to someone who was painfully shy when we met! :S )

[labontefan]

I'm really sorry this happened to your son, but it sounds like it may be a blessing in disguise. If she enjoys "playing" with other people's emotions, who knows what kind of antics she might have pulled had she gone! The second girl sounds like someone who's willing to help a friend out in a pinch...much better choice!!

One of my pet peeves is that so few people are willing to take responsibility for their actions these days. This poor excuse for a mom sounds like she's doing a great job of perpetuating the problem!

I really hope your son has a wonderful time. It should give him a big boost to know his coworkers think enough of him to try and make sure he has a good time.

Tell him to forget about the little manipulative witch (or you can change the spelling if you prefer   ). She's not worth 2 seconds of his time! Just remember all those friends and coworkers who obviously think he's someone pretty special!

[gsm x2]

I'm really with Birol on this one.  It's a blessing and he'll have a much better time.

I do have to add that I think that it GREAT that you are ranting and venting here.  Do it here, then let it go.  There is nothing for you or your son to gain by ranting and venting to the parents or the girl.
 
Attitude is everything in these situations.  Let it go; move forward with the positive things that everyone is doing because they like your son.
 
And when your son is off to the prom tonight, check in here and let everyone know how well the day is going.
 
Scott

[Miss-Teri]

It sounds to me like this second girl is a wonderful person.  Is she attached?  It would be pretty amazing if they found by the end of the evening they have a lot in common and ended up dating, wouldn't it?  What a story for him someday on, "How I met my wife"!
Sounds like he'll have a much better time than he would have had to start with anyway.  Someone with the personality/attitude/heartlessness of that first girl couldn't have been much fun to go with.